Author: Dominique Hodge

Let us not become weary in doing good

Dominique Hodge

I am writing this later than I usually like to but I needed some time to gather my thoughts. I feel like I have covered quite a few topics over the past couple of months. But life is a circle so some topics will naturally come back.

It was a week, to say the least. I had a moment with my daughter where the conscious parenting went out the window. She’s 9 so I know boundaries will start to get tested but I still wasn’t ready. My toddler son decided to be a stunt double and fell off the bed. A close friend lost a family member. I have been busy with Tropsical and prepping for my daughter’s First Holy Communion. I also had some macrame orders to complete. And the kids are on vacation.

So it definitely felt like my plate was full this week and I dropped a few balls. I read somewhere that dropping balls is inevitable so you need to know whether they are glass or plastic balls. I am not devastated about the balls that dropped but I do want to do better next time, so I am just reviewing what I could have done different. I usually feel overwhelmed when I don’t organize myself well enough. I love making lists and I like to see what needs to be done. I didn’t really make a schedule, I was just winging it which made it tougher to keep track of what needed to be done.

These past few months I have realized that I have received blessings from others because of past interactions. A friend of mine from college reached out and has been a big support with my fitness goals. I even received a care package. I was in shock. They basically summed it up as a thank you for my support in the past. They couldn’t show that support then but now that they could, they did. It was unexpected and truly appreciated. This just shows that kindness and hard work don’t go unnoticed. I like helping people (a lot of my close friends would say too much) but lately I haven’t been able to help the way I would like. I have noticed that I have been receiving help and I am being blessed by others. Sometimes we expect the blessings to return exactly how we sent it out but I don’t think that’s how it works. The good you send out does find its way back to you at just the right time. Just make sure you aren’t pouring from an empty cup!

Last week I mentioned being present. I really think being present is important to getting through this life. We are limited. There is only so much we can do at a given time, although we like to believe we can do everything, all of the time. I have realized that by being present, we can reduce miscommunication and diffuse situations quicker. Being present allows us to listen better and then we can hear what the person is really saying or asking for. It’s the little things in life. We sometimes believe we have to have (and offer) truckloads of money to be a blessing but that isn’t true. Sometimes it’s a kind word of encouragement, a hug or simply listening to someone that makes all of the difference.

You (and I) can effect change right now with what we have. If you can support someone’s dream then do so whether it’s a purchase or a like and share on social media. Give compliments. Spend time with them. Ask them how they are doing and listen to them. I have learnt that we share our experiences/ problems not looking for advice but to be seen. We are all going through hard times and it’s not a bragging contest. But sometimes acknowledging the other person’s struggle gives them the boost needed to overcome it. Don’t be afraid to reach out when you are struggling. We are usually surrounded by people who are willing to help but they won’t know unless you speak up. God sends us who and what we need at the right time.

So this week, look for the little ways you can be a blessing to others and if you need a blessing, reach out to someone you trust and be honest. Don’t forget to be grateful for your blessings. Start a gratitude journal if that helps or some other creative way to show thanks. Life is all about balance so be grateful that you can bless others but also be accepting when it is time for you to receive your blessings. Have a great week and remember, you got this!

Be a rose among the thorns

Focus on your focus…

Dominique Hodge

It’s another week and I am grateful that the words are flowing today. As I have mentioned in past blogs, a thought comes to me and then it pops up a few more times. This week I have been thinking about focus. Focus is described as the center of interest or activity. If we are clear about our focus, we see that things flow easier and we accomplish a lot more in a shorter time. But if our focus is scattered then we are basically wasting energy on things that are not productive. Also when we pinpoint an area of interest and hone our focus, we are able to find a certain clarity and ease. Our focus may be misplaced even with the best intentions.
I was reading the story about Martha and Mary in Luke and the following stood out to me:
“But the Lord answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art anxious and troubled about many things: but one thing is needful: for Mary hath chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
Martha was focused on making sure the guests were taken care of, and cleaning the house, etc. the same as many of us would do when we have guests in our home. But yet Jesus said that Mary was doing the right thing. In this story Mary’s focus was on Jesus. Martha did nothing wrong but her focus was off. She was focused on the others and herself which caused her to be troubled.
I felt that. How many times have I felt stressed or worried because I was focusing on the wrong things. Especially when you allow yourself to wonder what others are thinking, you can send yourself into a spiral. I am learning that sometimes all it takes is to be present in the moment. We can worry about the future, the bills, others’ opinions and live in this bubble in our heads that is not even reality. But when we turn our focus to the present moment then we can see what is important. Usually we don’t know how important a moment is until it becomes a memory.
Will your memories be filled with the anxious hustling and bustling and tidying or with moments of joy and laughter with loved ones? Our phones have become these all in one assistants and I for one can get caught up on mine. My Bible is on my phone, my books are on my phone, apps for my business and my finances are on my phone. I won’t even go into detail about social media. Mobile phones are beneficial and social media has its advantages but it doesn’t take away from how much time we spend on them. Being present in the moment allows me to get on the floor and play with my son or really listen to a story my daughter is telling.
I have learnt that with focus comes solutions. When I started Tropsical I was initially focused on getting the first batch out, then my focus switched to packaging and storage. I have about 14 flavors and I am stopping at that amount for now so I can focus on improving other aspects. It is easy for me to add flavors but then I would be so focused on making pops that I would have no time to work on other things. As I work on ideas for transporting the pops, my focus allows me to see solutions in my mind easier. My mind is not crowded with millions of thoughts on different things. There is space for me to unravel the ball of yarn. Imagine splitting your focus over fifty different things. Those balls of yarns would be tangled up in each other in no time. Or you can look at focus as a child taking a container of toys to play with. When they dump out the container with dinosaurs, there should only be dinosaurs and then before taking another container, they need to put away the dinosaurs. Focus keeps everything neat in your mind.
That is also why I think it is important to have moments of rest and be present in those moments. If you think you don’t have time to rest then you are definitely overdue for some R&R. Start by simply being present in this moment. Where are you reading this blog? What’s happening around you? How are you feeling? Listen to the noises around you. Take a moment and inhale deeply then slowly exhale. Take a walk outdoors, feel the breeze or the sun. The next time you begin to feel anxious or stressed, just pause. Ask yourself why you feel that way. The other morning I started to panic because I started listing everything I had to do over and over and it began to feel overwhelming. Finally I stopped thinking and started writing. Once I wrote everything down, my mind automatically started making sense of it and mapping out my day. Don’t let your thoughts consume you. Take hold of them and make them work for you. You are in control of your thoughts, words and actions. Own them!

Reflections

Dominique Hodge

So the other day I tweeted that I had been unemployed for about 5 months now. One of my friends replied with the quickness that I have been running a business for the same amount of time. My tweet wasn’t meant as a pity party but just a reminder that I have been surviving without something that I once thought was so important.

Don’t get me wrong. Things aren’t easy which is why I said above that I am surviving. I have had to make sacrifices and add more responsibilities in the meantime. But my job was something I thought I couldn’t do without. For four years I committed myself to the company and did my best to grow the organization in an organic and honest manner. Endings are bittersweet and in the midst of the COVID pandemic, I was leaning towards bitter. But thank God!

Everything happens for a reason and this was the perfect storm to catapult me into the business my friend was referring to on Twitter. In a few of my blogs I mention Tropsical which is the name of my ice pop business. Think Mexican paletas. I truly believe in the product and brand. I want Tropsical to be a household name on the island. I enjoy making the recipes and trying new flavors. I love people’s reactions when they taste one. I am so grateful for all of the support I have received so far and can’t wait to keep growing.

Building Tropsical the brand is a daily job. Between prepping and producing, I also have to work on research and development as well as marketing. I am juggling more tasks than when I was working for someone yet I don’t feel as stressed. Part of it is not having to meet someone else’s expectations. I still have expectations to meet but I trust myself. I no longer have to trust myself, and convince someone to trust me. The freedom to set my own schedule and make my own decisions helps reduce stress. If I am stuck on something, I can take some time off guilt free, whether it is a long lunch or calling it a day at 2 pm.

In life we sometimes drop the wrong balls. It’s life. We can’t juggle all of the balls all of the time and we are bound to drop a ball or two. I dropped so many balls in order to keep my “job” ball in the air and honestly there are more times that it wasn’t worth it than it was. This is based on my personal journey. I have worked myself to the brink of a burnout twice in two different positions. I used to think that that hyper busy vibe was necessary for success and growth but I realize now it wasn’t.

Balance is necessary in all aspects of our lives. When we focus and prioritize one thing too much, other areas of our lives suffer. I don’t have it figured it out. But I am more conscious now about my planning. I have always been a planner and I felt when I started that I had it all figured out. But I have changed planners and planning styles enough now to know that I don’t. I usually reflect on how a system is working every few weeks. It allows me to stay on top of things but also not feel overwhelmed. What worked last month may not work this month.

Making a conscious decision to not only hold yourself accountable but also to review the systems you have put in place to assist you is crucial. If something is not working, don’t beat yourself up. Make note of what is working and try something else. Don’t change the goal, change the way you get to the goal. If you are unwilling to adjust, you may stay stuck in a place where you were meant to grow.

Fear less…

Dominique Hodge

As human beings we tend to worry about things. As time goes by and we get older, we worry about so much more. As kids our fears are usually simple, the fear of the dark or the fear of the boogey man. There are rational and irrational fears. But for someone with an irrational fear, that fear is real for them. Fear has allowed us to avoid danger and survive but fear can also paralyze us. FOMO or fear of missing out was trending a while back and for me, I have had to remind myself that what is truly for me will not pass me by. With everything happening in the world these past few years, you see more people suffering from anxiety.

I love flying so when I meet someone with a flying phobia, I have to take a step back and understand what they are going through. It’s not that I have not thought about what could go wrong, but in this scenario, I feel like the benefits outweigh the negative. I use the time to read or watch a movie or catch up on some work. For others, it is a horrifying time. On the other hand, I have arachnophobia (fear of spiders). Logically I know the possibility of a spider jumping on me and biting me is low but my heart starts beating out of my chest when I see one. Had I been on that season of America’s Next Top Model, I would have quit the moment they brought those spiders out.

Our phobias are easy to discuss. But the fears that really hold us back are whispered in therapy sessions. I have been hearing people mention the fear of failure more often. Failure is so subjective and determined by our own expectations. Has someone failed because they did something different to how it has always been done? Has someone failed because they did not complete a 4 year degree in 4 years? What really is failure? I may have a goal of owning a mansion, whereas someone else may want a condo. We all have private battles to fight and for some, just getting out of bed may be an accomplishment.

We can be so afraid of failure, that we do not even try. Have you ever seen a vacancy ad and talked yourself out of applying? Or you turned down an opportunity because you were not ready or was just unsure? We are so full of potential but sometimes the fear of disapproval from our family and friends stops us. It’s normal for fear to stop us in our tracks, but it is also OK for us to challenge it. Everything begins with a thought and that’s amazing. We can control our thoughts. It takes a lot of effort and discipline but we can. The next time you feel anxious, ask yourself what is causing you to feel that way. Ask yourself if the thought has any truth to it. Ask yourself what’s the worst case scenario? (Spoiler alert, the answer ultimately is death but you will die some day any way)

Use your fears to challenge yourself. Push yourself to your limits and see how far you can go. Put in the effort that is needed and then add a bit more. Chances are you will excel. If you do something and you are not perfect at it the first time, then try again. Trial and error can result in success if you do not give up. We were not meant to be worry warts. We were given a spirit of power, love and discipline. Sometimes we forget our power and fear creeps in like fog. Reminding ourselves of the truth and focusing on the good, helps us to dispel the fog of fear. Start with the seemingly small things to build your confidence.

If we allow fear to stop us from even trying then we are robbing ourselves of our lives and dreams. Some things are meant to be done while scared. Trust yourself, trust that inner voice and keep your eye on the prize. Once we reach the end goal, we may look back and realize it wasn’t as scary as we thought it would be. If you don’t go for it, you will never get it.

You will know them by their fruits

Dominique Hodge

This morning as I was watering my plants, I noticed my peas. I see them every day as I water but today I really saw them. My garden has been invaded by caterpillars and just a day or two ago, I had to pick some off of my passionfruit plant which is in the same area as my peas. Those pesky bugs already ate my cucumbers, pumpkin and other pea seedlings so I was upset and losing hope as most of my crops were wiped out. I planted these plants months ago and they were flourishing at one point but now I was considering pulling them out. Most of the leaves were gone, thanks to those caterpillars and they looked frail.

But this morning I noticed that despite their lackluster appearance, they were loaded with peas! You have to understand, they barely had any leaves but yet there were peas. And I got it then. Something that I thought was “damaged” could still “bear fruit”. God works in mysterious ways. We look at persons and sometimes ourselves and think we are too damaged to be used but all God sees is a vessel. Many persons have brought their broken spirits to the altar as sacrifice and God has taken them and used them. Psalms 51:17: “my sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart you, God will not despise.”

It makes me think of the phrase, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”. We are God’s treasure. No matter how beaten down we feel, he sees glory. See the thing is, even though I saw the leaves being eaten and I was losing hope of them surviving, I continued to water them. They were planted in good soil so everything was still there to allow it to bear fruit.

“Wherefore, my brethren, ye also were made dead to the law through the body of Christ; that ye should be joined to another, even to him who was raised from the dead, that we might bring forth fruit unto God.”

Romans 7:4 ASV

“Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; and so shall ye be my disciples.”

John 15:8 ASV

“Thou hast planted them, yea, they have taken root; they grow, yea, they bring forth fruit: thou art near in their mouth, and far from their heart.”

Jeremiah 12:2 ASV

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; so neither can ye, except ye abide in me.”

John 15:4 ASV

God planted us in good soil (our faith) and provided the living waters ( His Word) we need to take root and grow. Our fruit is meant to bring glory to God. God provides for the birds and the grass of the fields ( in this case, plants) so they are literally just being. There were some high winds a while back and the top of my sugar apple tree broke. It was a decent branch and I was worried about its growth but lo and behold, a few days later I saw green leaves shooting from the broken branch. God did that. He restores. But human beings have been given the gift of choice. God did not force us into obeying Him. So as the scripture says we must abide in Him. When we delight ourselves in Him, He gives us the desires of our heart. If we truly abide in Him, we will have hearts after His own.

We are meant to bear fruit to glorify Hin but what is the fruit we are meant to bear? Galatians 5:22 says : “but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.” You will know them by their fruits (Matthew 7:16) If we abide in God and bear the fruit of the Spirit, we will glorify God. But as stated in Jeremiah 12:2, He is always on our lips but far from our hearts. Proverbs 14:14 warns us “ the backslider in heart will be filled with the fruit of his ways, and a good man will be filled with the fruit of his ways.” So again we see that it doesn’t matter what we look like on the outside but what matters is on the inside. Are we abiding in God as we should and thereby bearing fruit that glorify Him or are we backsliders in heart who will be revealed by our fruit?

Inspiration

Rest & Relaxation

Dominique Hodge

Happy Sunday!

You may or may not have noticed that there was no blog last week. After 13 consecutive weeks, I decided I needed to take a break. I even tried to write something but truth be told, I was not inspired. The past few weeks have been pretty intense as I did some soul searching. The journey of self-love is a never-ending one. I tend to be hard on myself and just like with work, I tend to just keep going. The past week has reminded me to slow down and rest. Before COVID I was begging for a chance to rest and now that I can make my own schedule, I found myself filling it up with little to no time to rest.

Our minds and bodies are truly amazing. The amount of information that is processed daily is unbelievable. We are not machines, although we treat ourselves that way sometimes. And even machines need rest. Even God rested! Society has programmed us to constantly be busy. Slogans like “Sleep when you die” have been engraved in us. In order to process all of the information it receives, our bodies and minds need to rest. If we’re constantly on GO, we are not processing information correctly because our bodies are making sure we go. If you take a road trip and you need to get to point B by a certain time, you are not stopping unnecessarily and not taking in the sights. Someone at Point B might ask if you saw xyz along the way and your response may be that you think you saw a sign but you definitely did not stop there. Sometimes this mindset is needed to reach a goal or complete a project but you can’t keep going and going with no rest.

Usually when we rest, we are also inspired or some things may become clearer. Your body will speak to you and let you know when its time to pause. Listen to it. As you learn to listen to your body and trust yourself, you will learn more about yourself and ultimately what works for you. Would you rather spend years doing things you don’t like that make you uncomfortable just because someone said it should be done or would you prefer a life that meets your needs? We think if we work hard at something, that we will begin to like it or maybe it will get easier but that’s not the case. Sometimes we need to let go to find what we actually want. 

I lost my job in May and I did not think I would be making fruit pops and boozy pouches full-time yet Tropsical is here and here to stay. It may seem trivial but i feel more fulfilled and I have the time to spend with my kids and be involved. I say all of that to say we need to make space for the things we want but so often we hold on so tightly to what is not serving us that we can’t hold on to what we want. Don’t go out and quit your job just yet. Start making space in small ways. You want to start a business? Start setting aside time daily or weekly to work on the business. Do you have a name? Do you know why you want to do it? What sets you apart? You want a home office but have you made space? Do you know what you will need? 

You have to learn to trust yourself. We often talk about our distrust in others but often times, it starts with us distrusting ourselves. Listen to yourself. Know what feels good and does not just sound good. We are all different so different things will excite us. There will be moments when you are learning and moments that require unlearning. For example, I used to love event planning but right now I don’t. Do not be afraid to let some things go. You don’t have to like everything your friends are liking. They don’t have to like everything you like. Take time to learn yourself and honor yourself.

Remember that your rest is important. During your pause, you will do things that make you happy. For me, some days that means I am on the beach and other days I am cuddled up with a good book. Don’t drain yourself and your creativity by doing too much. Be inspired as much as you want to inspire. Have a great week!  

P.S. Be sure to follow @motherlovingdiva and @tropsicalsxm on Instagram!

Patience is a virtue

Dominique Hodge

It’s late and I should be in la la land right now because I have an early morning tomorrow. I have been trying to go to bed early so I can wake up without hitting the snooze button fifty times. But if I was asleep, I would have missed the email from Alex Elle which has inspired my blog this week. Her email started in a similar fashion so there must be something about late night thoughts. This week I have been pretty tough on myself. I feel like an imposter, writing about sacrifice and self discipline while I am here struggling to find a balance.Truth be told, I write for me, as reminders to myself.

The funny thing is amidst all of my thoughts, I have been proud of myself for my growth. I feel like I have grown so much this year and I know some of it is due to finally slowing down due to COVID and some of it is the harvest I am reaping from things sown years ago. I am proud of my growth but still beating myself up for things I am learning now. Then Alex Elle sends out an email about growth and my mouth drops. She ends the email with “Growth makes room for patience as you push through.” Read that again. And again. Got it? Awesome!

Sacrifice and self discipline are very necessary qualities for success but patience is also very important. Society demands quick turnovers but our lives are not some fast food restaurants. It takes time to grow. There will be lessons we have to learn again. Healing takes time. Cuts and bruises don’t disappear overnight. If you are rushing the process then chances are you aren’t learning everything you can and you aren’t becoming everything you can be. Waiting isn’t always fun. It can be nerve wracking. If you are a Christian, then you should find comfort in knowing He is in control and He works all things together for our good. For others, it may be your strong belief in self. Knowing you can get through whatever is in front of you. Doubt doesn’t creep in immediately. Doubt slowly and quietly creeps in with the passing minutes. The longer we feel something is taking to happen, the more anxious we get. Some days I feel like I have no patience whatsoever. Since I started gardening I feel like I may have earned an ounce of patience.

I think we get impatient because that’s the part where we are not in control. You know I like garden references, so hear me out. Today I decide I am going to plant. I pick which seeds I want to plant, I make sure I have space to plant, and I make sure I have dirt, gardening tools, etc. I plant the seed in the ground and now I have to wait. The package may provide me with info about how long it will take to germinate. For our example, we’ll say five days. So in five days I expect to see something peeping out of  the dirt. Day 1,2,3, and 4, I am fine. Before I go to bed on day 4, I am excited because tomorrow I get to see something. But then I wake up on day 5, run to the garden and nothing! No green amidst the dirt. Did I do everything right? Are the seeds good? Too much water, too little water? I am disappointed. I don’t give up though. I keep watering and lo and behold, on the seventh day I see some green! Maybe I planted the seeds a little deeper than I should so it took longer because it had more dirt to push through. Now that there is visible growth, I am no longer impatient. My impatience didn’t make it grow any faster. The delay did not affect the plant negatively. The plant is still a plant and growing as it should. My impatience only drove me crazy.

We are all seeds. Everything we need is within us. During certain seasons our growth may appear slower or even be unnoticeable but every season is making us stronger. Just because we may not notice the changes, that does not mean change isn’t happening. I have planted seeds at the same time and have them shoot at different times. But ultimately they are the same. The seed that burst the ground first is not more or different than the seed that took a bit longer. If it’s a fruit tree, both will bear the same fruit. Being late does not alter the fruit. Trees don’t care what the other is doing. They are blissfully unaware and just focused on its own growth. In fact when a tree or plant blocks another from the sunlight, the one lacking sunlight finds away around.

You are meant to bear fruit. Don’t worry about the other trees in the area. Just enjoy the sunlight and simply be. You got this!

Late bloomer but so beautiful…

The Dirty D word: Discipline!

Dominique Hodge

This week I had a few “aha” moments. By Wednesday, I was already tired of the “aha” moments because honestly, it felt like I was being pranked.There were some things I was putting off at home so I tackled those on Monday and honestly I felt like my mind need to declutter more than the house. I also had a conversation with a friend which led to another conversation with another friend which ultimately led to a mini existential life crisis. But I am here and writing so I survived!

I believe it is important to slow down every now and then and take stock of your life. Just a check-in with yourself to figure out if you are on the right track. What are the goals you have been slacking off on, what have you accomplished or what do you need to stop pursuing. Check-ins are personal and need to make sense to you. When things are going well in our lives, we tend to bend the rules a bit and not be as strict. The important thing is not to forget all rules and the structures we put in place for our lives.

If you grew up with strict parents, you will be very familiar with discipline. The definition of discipline is the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience. Discipline is also seen as order. Rules were put in place to create a certain order, a way of functioning. Self- discipline is the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses. In essence, you are teaching yourself a code of behavior that is beneficial to you and your life. 

Last week I discussed sacrifice and an example I used was sacrificing an hour of sleep to wake up earlier. So self- discipline is knowing your goal is a healthier lifestyle and sacrificing that hour so you can workout to reach your goal. In order to achieve our goals we need self- discipline. Figure out which goals you want to accomplish and give them time frames to be completed. Then based on the goals you have, create daily or weekly habits that will help you accomplish the goals you established. Once you know what habits you need to have, then be diligent and focused to complete those habits. 

It is all about making the right choices in life. We may slip up because we’re human but that is why it is important to check in with yourself regularly and adjust what has not been working. If there is no order, then there is disorder. Self- discipline allows you to create the organized world you want to live in. Envision your perfect day and then build a schedule and habits around that. Envision where you want to be in five years or even next year and build your schedule and habits around that. What do you need to do now to become the person you want to be?

Self- discipline is not easy but it is rewarding. I was never an early riser. I am a night person. But since I have two kids, one being a toddler, it is difficult to get time for myself once they are awake. Now most days I wake up earlier than them. During that hour and a half, I am able to have a cup of coffee or tea in peace, complete my morning routine and water the plants. I actually need to wake up even earlier but that is something I struggle with. I have also learned to complete as much chores the night before. I enjoy working out but again, with the kids, I am unable to commit to a gym or Crossfit. So I do at- home workouts. The problem is I haven’t been consistent. But I do have a schedule, and that is how I know I have not been keeping up. 

Now I know what I need to work on. If I were to wake up an additional 45 minutes earlier, it would allow me to work out and I would kill two birds with one stone. There is a quote that says discipline is doing what needs to be done even when you don’t want to do it. It starts in our minds. If we look at it as unpleasant or give up because we don’t want to, then we won’t accomplish anything. Self discipline is self- love. When you love someone or some thing, you take care of it. Parents love their kids and want the best for them, spouses want the best for each other and animal lovers want the best for animals. So if you really love yourself, you should also want the best for yourself. Living a healthy lifestyle reduces your chances of health complications and leads to a longer life. You also look amazing. I am not saying you can’t enjoy junk food occasionally but when the exception becomes the rule, then it’s time to re-evaluate. 

This week I hope you take some time to be honest with yourself and see where you have not been loving yourself as you should. Then make a plan! We all have things we need to work on, no one is perfect. The difference will be whether or not you decide to improve your self- discipline and self- love. It takes 21 days to build a habit so commit and watch your life change. I believe in you. You got this!

Sacrifices…

Dominique Hodge

So I am on this 21 day challenge to eat healthier and consume little to no sugar as well as no alcohol. It is hard! Eating healthier is fine, but I do realize I have an addiction to sugar! All I want is an ice cold coke. Discipline is key. I have to train myself not to eat certain things or choose the healthier option. Now I mentioned no alcohol but that’s not possible because of Tropsical’s Boozy pouches and BB Frozays! Since I know I would have to bend on that rule, I had to make sure that I am on point on all the other rules. Again, it’s hard! But I realized, if I want to incorporate a healthier lifestyle, I need to be disciplined. After the 21 days I will have sugar but then I have to be aware and not eat a pack of cookies. If I am disciplined, I can have a cookie or two but if I disregard the rule altogether then I can forget to see any results.

We all want things or at least some thing in our lives. We usually can identify the end result we would like; we turn it into a goal and then take the necessary steps to achieve it. And yes, discipline is also very necessary. Waking up an extra hour early so you can work out or work on the project. Doing the things we don’t necessarily like in order to get the things we want. Discipline and sacrifice go hand in hand. The no sugar rule in my challenge means I sacrifice sugar for abs (hopefully). Waking up early means I sacrifice that hour of sleep and comfort, but I get an hour where I can follow my morning routine before the kids wake up, and be prepared for the day. Sometimes the sacrifice is easy and other times it is not.

The thing is sacrifice is easy when the reward is concrete and it also helps if we are rewarded quickly. Ask almost any entrepreneur and they will tell you it’s not an easy road. You are sacrificing time (with family and friends), and money. All of this in hopes that you will be successful. If you are disciplined (and versatile) you will make it. This week I felt like I wasn’t spending enough time with the kids. Don’t get me wrong. We’re together all of the time. I even started homeschooling my toddler. But I am talking sit on the floor and just play. And then doubt creeped in. Am I doing enough? The planner in me came to the rescue and I created a schedule. Kids love routine, and it allows me to plan, and have some control over my day.

The thing about life is finding some kind of balance and reminding yourself that it changes. What works this month may not work next month. What you need this year is not what you need next year. We are constantly growing. If we have an overview of what we want to accomplish, our choices become easier and as a result, we are more willing to sacrifice. Sometimes when things get overwhelming I just look right in front of me. Which decision or choice will get me closer to my end goal?

Maybe you have made all of the right choices, invested the money. You made your sacrifice. But you don’t see the reward YET. There are few people in this world who enjoy waiting. The waiting period can be anxiety inducing. The thing is once you’ve done the work with a genuine heart, you will be rewarded. Sometimes with something even bigger than we expected. You have to keep going. Imagine you are taking a road trip and as you pull out of the driveway, you get a flat tire. If you give up then, you will never get to your destination.

Just like on a road trip, there will be times when you need to stop and rest. You need to refuel and rest to have energy to finish the trip. There are also times when you can pull over to look at the scenery. You need to enjoy yourself as well. If you’re constantly working and sacrificing and not enjoying then you will burn out. Take yourself to dinner. Watch that movie. Take the trip (if it makes financial sense). Learn to celebrate the wins, whether you think it’s big or small.

So this week look for the small wins. I was about to say a smile from a stranger but with masks on, that’s a bit harder. So look for the kind words, gestures and little acts of love. Be proud of your growth. And if needed, review and make the adjustments necessary.

August Review

Dominique Hodge

Happy Saturday!

As crazy as this year has been, we are in August. How are you doing? How are you feeling?

I have had some ups and downs but I am grateful because the average of my ups and downs keep me somewhere in the middle. This year, I was very intentional about making a vision board and even hosted a mini vision board get together. I usually glance at it daily, to kind of remind me what to focus on. Earlier this week, I really looked at it and realized the majority of what I had on my board was taking shape. Obviously, my travel plans are on a standstill. 

I love to plan. I really do! I am that friend who plans out the entire trip. I started using a planner about five years ago and I started with a BUJO (bullet journal) and essentially it was filled with lists and my to-dos. Then I switched to a planner, but could never find one that was quite right for me. With the birth of my son, I switched to a life planner because I felt it gave me enough space while being functional. The downside was the size of the planner, but it has not actually been a problem in my day-to-day. I also have a list of goals for the year in my planner. 

Earlier this week, I took some time to review my vision board and my goals. I was amazed at how much I could check off. I was then motivated to make some new goals. I think it’s important to take some time and daydream about your ideal life. What do you want? What are you doing? Most importantly, how do you want to feel? Once you’ve finished dreaming (and writing it down), start breaking goals down into bite-size pieces. For example, on my vision board I had my macramé. I want the business to be successful. However, wanting it to be successful and actually taking the steps to make it successful are two different things. A breakdown could be as follows: 1. Make macramé plant hangers 2. Advertise/ make known that they were available 3. Be consistent and so forth. 

I believe writing down your goals and then breaking it down into steps makes it easier to visualize and ultimately achieve. I am a visual person, so when I see it on paper I remember it easier. It also helps me make decisions that will contribute to my goals. Do I want to spend money on a nice dinner or reinvest it into the business? That is not to say, don’t treat yourself to dinner but there will be times when a bit of sacrifice is required. Despite how things have been, I have seen a lot of people say that they have been able to check things off their lists.

We are all in different mental spaces right now and if you are going through a tough time, it may be difficult to focus on goals and vision boards. Take the time necessary and seek assistance if needed. You could also start the process and let it motivate you. At one point in college, I literally had “get out of bed” on my to-do list. There is always something to look forward to and it is important to keep that in mind. Even when everything is planned out, you may still find yourself in a funk.  For me, it happens when I feel like things are not progressing as fast as I would like. I usually force myself to review all that was accomplished. 

I want to go back to the garden because it has been a while since I compared gardening to life. With the right care, a tree will grow from a seed. We may start small but with the right care, our dreams can grow into a resilient flamboyant. It takes time for things to grow. Sometimes I plant a seed and it takes so long that I forget what I planted. (I forget what I plant rather quickly but some seeds do take a longer time to shoot). Ultimately, it does not matter how long it took. You have a plant and eventually it will yield fruits or flowers. Stop worrying about how long your journey is taking. It is all part of the process. I spend a lot of time weeding. Your mind is a garden and negative thoughts are weeds. When they pop up, pluck them out. They do not help you.

Take some time this week to review your goals if you already had some written down or sit down and get to writing. Really let yourself dream. No one can hear your thoughts and you deserve to want the best for yourself. You hold your future in your hands. And remember, you got this!

P.S There is a freebie below!

Daily Planner. If you love it, please let me know