Plans for good…

She laughs without fear of the future… if only I had known then how God was about to move in my life…

May 2020 was the start of my blog and as it gets closer, I am just excited. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I would still be here writing content and that I would have followers so thank you to each and every one of you that is here.

I feel like the celebrations started in February and despite a small break in July will carry on until the end of the year. Birthdays are a big deal for me. I just enjoy the celebration of someone’s time on earth. Mine is next weekend and I am a bit anxious although I know there is nothing to be anxious about. First, it was deciding if I would even celebrate it, with COVID and all and then, what would I do?

If we start to worry about every minute detail, we will quickly become stressed and anxious. We cloud our minds with all of the possibilities. Half of the scenarios unlikely to play out in reality. We stress ourselves when we try to control everything or think that we must control everything. I think I mentioned it in one of my earlier blogs. Worrying only makes us go through it twice, once in our heads and once when it happens. If we are going to have to live through a specific scenario, why would we want to go through a difficult one twice, especially if there is nothing we can do to change it.

But are your really in control? For me, as I am on this spiritual journey, I know that God is in control. Don’t get me wrong, I like to be in control but I have learnt that there are some things I cannot control. I am also not meant to control those things. So when I start to feel flustered, I take a deep breath and ask myself if there is anything I can do to change the situation and if there isn’t, then I turn to God. (Spoiler alert: most times there isn’t) There are some things I can probably control but turning to God first has proven to be my best plan of action. In order to do that, you need to still the million of thoughts in your mind. If your mind is racing, you will not be able to receive the answer. Some people meditate, do yoga or practice conscious breathing.

Two scriptures stand out to me. Psalms 46:10: He says, “Be still and know that I am God” and Exodus 14:14: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still”. When things arise in our lives, usually bad, we sometimes run to God and lay it all bare. But my sis Audra mentioned the other day that while going through a difficult time of her own, she decided to be still on the matter. Bless her because I am sure I would have had to have a talk with God. But by remaining still, she was able to receive a message. And for me, I feel like God is telling us He is God and He knows everything and EVERYTHING in our lives will be used for our good. Even Peter would have benefited from being still but his denial was still ultimately used for his good.

I am currently reading Barack Obama’s book, “A promised land” and one of the lines that stood out was when he thought he might have been damaged. (Don’t quote me on this, I am paraphrasing) In life I hear so many people (myself included) wondering if there is something damaged or broken in them. And what I have learnt is that God takes those same people and uses them. I doubt many of us would even think about Barack Obama as damaged. He was the first African American to serve as President of the United States and not just for one term but two. Also while reading about his campaign, things seemed to fall into place for him. I believe we are all born for the times we are in. Our purpose is connected to our now. A lot of times we wonder if we weren’t meant for another time. But there is no other time but now.

There are things within us that don’t reside in others. There are things we must say and do that no one else can say or do. There are also people we can reach who others cannot. So if you are worried about your purpose or if you are meant to be here or if you can overcome that hurt, or anything you can imagine, I am asking you to take a moment, be still and know that God is in control. You got this! Stop trying to do everything and give it to God.

I am currently on a social media fast for Lent and I am not sure how many people will read this but if you are reading this, this is your sign. Let go and let God.

Patience is a virtue

It’s late and I should be in la la land right now because I have an early morning tomorrow. I have been trying to go to bed early so I can wake up without hitting the snooze button fifty times. But if I was asleep, I would have missed the email from Alex Elle which has inspired my blog this week. Her email started in a similar fashion so there must be something about late night thoughts. This week I have been pretty tough on myself. I feel like an imposter, writing about sacrifice and self discipline while I am here struggling to find a balance.Truth be told, I write for me, as reminders to myself.

The funny thing is amidst all of my thoughts, I have been proud of myself for my growth. I feel like I have grown so much this year and I know some of it is due to finally slowing down due to COVID and some of it is the harvest I am reaping from things sown years ago. I am proud of my growth but still beating myself up for things I am learning now. Then Alex Elle sends out an email about growth and my mouth drops. She ends the email with “Growth makes room for patience as you push through.” Read that again. And again. Got it? Awesome!

Sacrifice and self discipline are very necessary qualities for success but patience is also very important. Society demands quick turnovers but our lives are not some fast food restaurants. It takes time to grow. There will be lessons we have to learn again. Healing takes time. Cuts and bruises don’t disappear overnight. If you are rushing the process then chances are you aren’t learning everything you can and you aren’t becoming everything you can be. Waiting isn’t always fun. It can be nerve wracking. If you are a Christian, then you should find comfort in knowing He is in control and He works all things together for our good. For others, it may be your strong belief in self. Knowing you can get through whatever is in front of you. Doubt doesn’t creep in immediately. Doubt slowly and quietly creeps in with the passing minutes. The longer we feel something is taking to happen, the more anxious we get. Some days I feel like I have no patience whatsoever. Since I started gardening I feel like I may have earned an ounce of patience.

I think we get impatient because that’s the part where we are not in control. You know I like garden references, so hear me out. Today I decide I am going to plant. I pick which seeds I want to plant, I make sure I have space to plant, and I make sure I have dirt, gardening tools, etc. I plant the seed in the ground and now I have to wait. The package may provide me with info about how long it will take to germinate. For our example, we’ll say five days. So in five days I expect to see something peeping out of  the dirt. Day 1,2,3, and 4, I am fine. Before I go to bed on day 4, I am excited because tomorrow I get to see something. But then I wake up on day 5, run to the garden and nothing! No green amidst the dirt. Did I do everything right? Are the seeds good? Too much water, too little water? I am disappointed. I don’t give up though. I keep watering and lo and behold, on the seventh day I see some green! Maybe I planted the seeds a little deeper than I should so it took longer because it had more dirt to push through. Now that there is visible growth, I am no longer impatient. My impatience didn’t make it grow any faster. The delay did not affect the plant negatively. The plant is still a plant and growing as it should. My impatience only drove me crazy.

We are all seeds. Everything we need is within us. During certain seasons our growth may appear slower or even be unnoticeable but every season is making us stronger. Just because we may not notice the changes, that does not mean change isn’t happening. I have planted seeds at the same time and have them shoot at different times. But ultimately they are the same. The seed that burst the ground first is not more or different than the seed that took a bit longer. If it’s a fruit tree, both will bear the same fruit. Being late does not alter the fruit. Trees don’t care what the other is doing. They are blissfully unaware and just focused on its own growth. In fact when a tree or plant blocks another from the sunlight, the one lacking sunlight finds away around.

You are meant to bear fruit. Don’t worry about the other trees in the area. Just enjoy the sunlight and simply be. You got this!

Late bloomer but so beautiful…