Recycled lessons…

It has officially been a year since I started the blog. I read the first two blogs I posted and it is so funny that I am being presented similar scenarios at the moment. If you have not read them yet, take a moment to do so. We currently have curfew which is reminding me of the lockdown from last year. Luckily for us, we were able to be out and about for quite some time and a curfew is still better than a complete lockdown. These past two weeks have been busy and in some areas of my life I am feeling overwhelmed and in other areas, I feel like I am not doing enough.

In the areas where I am feeling overwhelmed, it is really about discipline and obedience. This weekend Tropsical has its first wedding. Last year I prayed for this. I am extremely grateful and excited for the opportunity. I prepared the pops already but there are still a few things I need to sort out and I am dragging my feet. Due to the curfew, my daughter’s recital was rescheduled and although in some ways it makes for an easier day for me, it also puts a spin on my timeline for the wedding. Due to my lack of discipline this week,it will cost me most of my Friday to ensure that all is ready for Saturday. 

Last year I mentioned losing two seedlings due to lack of attention and rushing the process. Today, I hit a pole with my car while parking because I was not being attentive. It is definitely frustrating to have to add bumper repair to my to do list. A moment of lack of attention is costing me financially. Our lack of attention will cost us things but most times we do not know exactly what we are losing. Makes me wonder about the blessings I may have delayed or the persons I may have missed whom I could help. 

On the other hand, there are areas where I am being tough on myself. Rushing to do things will only cause me to make mistakes and not execute correctly. Progress takes time and I need to appreciate the journey. There were some financial goals I wanted to meet and although I am not quite there, I have made a lot of progress. I also have a few opportunities to increase income but I want to do all of the things right away and that simply is not possible. I am trying to simply be grateful for the opportunity without adding any additional expectations at this point. Showing myself grace still feels a bit foreign but I am working on it. 

Summer is coming and the schedule for Tropsical is filling up quickly but then there are the kids home from school. I think I am just panicking instead of relying on my scheduling skills and discipline. I know that I am capable of handling it all. Instead of stressing about what is to come, it is important for me to focus on now and being disciplined enough to do what is necessary for the greater good. So if you are like me and feeling a little overwhelmed,  then know that you are not alone and you got this!

Remember the rules and guidelines you created to live your best life and be disciplined enough to follow through. Also do not forget to take care of yourself. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Have a great week!

p.s: Leave a comment or send a message if you read this blog post. Also follow me on IG: @motherlovingdiva

Know it. Protect it. Self- worth!

Growth and healing may appear all light and love especially on social media but for those who are truly doing the work, they can admit it is tough.  Persons who are focused on their growth and healing are focused on understanding themselves, loving themselves and unlearning thoughts and behaviors that no longer serve them. Understanding and working through trauma is a lengthy process. Some of us have had years of programming that cannot be undone overnight. Life is messy and every single person is going through something.

I believe we all have a light within us and when we show up as our authentic selves, that light shines bright. Have you ever looked at someone and they simply seemed to glow? They do not even have to be doing something but their energy calls you. Some of us have had the light dimmed for us and some of us have dimmed it ourselves. Dimming your light might seem like self defense but you are actually harming yourself. When you are not true to who you were meant to be, you start to operate at a lower vibration and you attract at a lower vibration. You start to believe that you are not worthy of certain things. When you play small, you block the opportunities for you to grow.

Self- love helps you to overcome playing small but no one really tells you what to do to love yourself. That is because it is a personal journey. My self-love journey will look different to yours. My self-love love language is nourishing my body. When life gets busy, the first thing I neglect is my body. I do not eat on time, I miss meals, I do not work out and the list goes on. When I am intentional about loving myself, I eat well, I work out and take care of my body so it can help me be my best. Grab a notebook and make note of the things and places that make you feel good. Make a list of affirmations. This can consist of positive statements about yourself that you believe or statements you wish to be true. Repeat the statements to yourself daily. Seek professional help to identify limiting beliefs but also the origin of those limiting beliefs. The foundation usually lies somewhere in childhood.

However there comes a point in our journey where we reach a certain level of confidence in ourselves. We have an understanding of our worth and it’s a beautiful awakening. This is where it gets tricky because you will be tested. You will find yourself in situations that will question your newfound confidence, will question your opinion of yourself and question all that you learned. If we aren’t careful, we can slip back to old patterns. The person you are meant to be is worth fighting for. The journey will take you to new places, shifts in friendships and much more. We cannot control how others choose to see us but we can choose whether we entertain them or not. Keep in mind that most people can only meet you where they are at. If they are vibrating at a lower level, your level will seem unreal to them. Our jobs are not to make others see our worth, it is our job to see it in ourselves and safeguard it.

Our value does not diminish due to someone else’s (and sometimes, our own) inability to see it. Our value is not based on our actions. When we attach our worth to actions, we may find ourselves overextending ourselves. Whereas when we are truly aware of our worth, we understand that less is more. You are worthy of your dreams. That nudge you feel, calling you towards “more” is valid. Release the fear and rise to meet yourself. Do not be afraid to lose others on the journey. Paths were crossed for a reason and we always meet those who are meant to guide us. Wherever you are on your journey, remember to be true to you. We are all imperfect but when we take our broken pieces and mend them, we can make a beautiful mosaic. As always, you got this!

Routine, the constant needed…

Happy Wednesday!

I started writing my blog eager to post yesterday. Had a nice subject and it was coming along nice and then poof, it disappeared. A little over 2 weeks ago, my iPhone officially kicked the bucket. I was sort of ready because I knew it was coming but I was still in denial. I lost pictures and my contacts. Honestly, this is the third time I have lost pictures so you would think I would learn. The loss of contacts is more upsetting. Normally I use my iPhone for everything. I am that friend who makes lists for everything and itineraries for trips. I just like organizing. However, since switching phones, I feel kind of out of place. I am still getting work done although it has been an adjustment.

I feel like the past couple of weeks have been overwhelming. A lot has not happened per se  yet the energy feels heavy. The first week I was very intentional with my day to day activities. I was not procrastinating and pushing myself to get work done. I was even able to work out twice that week. The house was spotless. This past week I feel like nothing has been going my way despite my intentions. My toddler has been testing my patience. Yesterday, I tried to hide from him while he was being fussy but he found me. In the moment when you are irritated, it is hard to understand their feelings. The 5 minute break I did get, allowed me to calm myself so I could deal with him. When something upsets you, it is important to remobe yourself from the situation and take a breath. It also allows some clarity on the situation.

I like routines because they make life smoother, especially with kids. Everyone has a basic overview of what needs to be done and it fosters independence. For this story, what matters most is that a routine is sort of a guideline of your day and for a little over a week, I have shifted from my routine. The daily shifts aren’t such a big deal but the accumulation of shifts is what is causing the heaviness. I created a routine that fits my life and allows me to be as productive as I can to ensure that I meet my goals and allow the kids to be at their best. We put limits on things because too much can be a bad thing. My son was fussy because he was overstimulated the night before because we did not stick to our routine.

The beauty of having a routine is that you already have the guideline to follow. It is all about being intentional and following the steps you created. Sometimes routines do get boring  amd it is absolutely ok for you to shake it up or change it. Ultimately, you will know what works for you. I started gardening again and spending time with my plants is a part of my routine. It does not require a lot of energy at the moment but seeing my plants grow and seeing them bare flowers and fruits is a nice feeling. If you know a certain place or spending time with certain people leaves you drained, then that is something you need to adjust or remove from your routine. You have control over your routine and what you do or do not do. Remember to incorporate breaks so you don’t get bored. In the middle of chaos, it is hard to get a grip of what is happening, it is important to remove yourself and take a look at it from a distance.

This week write down your routine and see what needs adjusting. Review and revise over time until you have something in place that makes you feel good about your days and brings you closer to your dreams. You got this!

Baggage, Spring Cleaning & Balance

After posting about showing up when you do not feel like it, I did not post last week. Life is about
balance. Some days you have to dig deep and show up when you would rather not and some days you need to listen to your body/ soul and do what it needs. Last week I needed a break. It has been an emotional rollercoaster the past month and I feel like I handled it relatively well. But leading up to last Tuesday, a few things happened simultaneously. My phone stopped working. I had a migraine Monday night that had me bedridden. And overall, I just felt spread thin with everything I needed to do. I was going to push to post but then decided not to. And I am glad that I did take a break because by Friday had a 24 hour bug and was miserable. Thankfully there were some aha moments in between.

Bag lady by Erykah Badu was playing and it made me think of the emotional baggage we carry. Our past experiences have taught us certain things and we carry them with us. If we are lucky enough to process some of those experiences, we are able to let them go. But what happens when we are lugging around bags of things that do not serve us? It slows us down, it gets crowded, and we may lose out on other valuable lessons because we have no space. Ideally we want to travel light. Unpacking emotional baggage can be even more chaotic than spring cleaning. You know those times when you are rearranging and you look around and wonder what you got yourself into. Cleaning up is necessary because you realize all of the things you no longer use and can either donate or trash it. Some of our behaviors we hold on to because they protected us in the past but if we take a good look at our lives now, those behaviors are not necessary. Getting rid of the excess baggage lightens our weight and makes space for something new.

A lot of us are praying for things we have not made room for.

Clutter can also negatively impact our moods. Imagine coming home after a busy day and walking into a dirty home. It feels like a weight is dropped on your shoulders. From another standpoint, when we are feeling down, we tend to let the clutter build up a bit. Instead of putting the clothes away the same day, we may leave them an extra day. When you are already feeling bad, it can be tough to do the thing you should. Cameron mentioned once in a short clip for The Alternative that sometimes when we sin, we turn from God instead of going to Him. I think we make a mistake and then we feel bad about it and beat ourselves up. And instead of going to God because we are ashamed for whatever reason, we just let it sit there and then we feel down, we make another bad decision and the “clutter” piles up. If we were to start cleaning up, we would realize that firstly, it is not as big of a mess as we thought and secondly, removing what does not need to be there actually lightens the load on our shoulders. God is patient and understanding, there is no deadline to clean up the mess but the faster you do it, the more time you will spend feeling free.

The thing with baggage and clutter is that sometimes it is easier to notice other people’s stuff but not our own. We all have baggage and we all have some dirt. Sometimes focusing on someone else’s dirt allows us to forget about our mess for a while. The thing is we need to remove the log out of our own eyes before we can talk about the speck in others. (Matthew 7: 3-5) This is also why we should be more considerate. We know how quickly things can progress and we know how it feels not to want to do what is right so when we see someone else struggling, we should encourage them to keep going rather than judge them for struggling. We could always find ourselves in their shoes. So let us be kind to one another and offer a hand where we can, knowing that everything we send out, returns to us.

This week remember to take stock of your baggage and begin spring cleaning. If you have cleaned up then be sure to help someone else who may need it. Have an amazing week and as always, you got this!

Show Up…

For the past few days I have been in an extremely happy mood. Things have been going well and I am grateful. My friend hosted her first makeup workshop and that was a success! I knew from the. Whining that she was capable but I know the stress of event planning as well. She financed everything herself by saving and being focused. The event was well thought out and the decor was amazing. But the highlight was her! She showed up and was not only informative but engaging and fun. She truly stepped into her power and was a sight to behold. Proud is an understatement.

I was also able to work on an event with another friend of mine. She is an event planner and called in some extra hands for a wedding. It was amazing seeing her in her element and really thriving. She has always been creative but there is an ease about her when she is creating. I guess seeing two amazing women doing their thing reminded me to show up for myself as well. I really put in the time with Tropsical this week and was very productive. Part of the battle is just showing up. If there is something that you love doing, just show up. Do what you need to do to get where you want to go.

Another reason why I have been in a good mood is because I feel like I am in a state of flow. Things have been going smoothly. I usually have a pretty packed scheduled but even so things are just falling into place. Saturday I assisted all day at the workshop but I was still able to leave and make Tropsical sales. On Sunday I worked most of the day but still got to spend some quality time with my daughter in the afternoon. So I started the week energized and motivated. And then today happened. It just felt like everything was different. I wasn’t feeling free and excited. I was irritated and then another situation triggered me and I am just over today. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to post anything. But half of the battle is showing up.

This blog was created for me to share my journey. And the truth is the journey won’t always be sunshine and flowers. Some days I will be tested and it’s how I show up that will make the difference. If I am being honest, I reacted out of emotion instead of controlling my emotions but it’s a learning experience. It’s something that I know I need to work on and I have come a long way because generally, I got this but there are a few, really just a few people who know which buttons to push, even though they shouldn’t. So today was different, not bad but different. I also had some wins today and that’s the silver lining. Sold the most Tropsical pops in a day today. 🎉

Life is a balance of highs and lows but since I have committed my life to God, there is a certain ease. Yes I got frustrated today and one situation wasn’t resolved but I know that it’s ok to mess up. Fall down seven times, get up eight. I took notes today and I hope next time I do better at ignoring the triggers. Sales have been increasing and I am just grateful and overwhelmed by the support. My goal is to keep showing up and giving my all and on days when I stumble, to give myself grace. This week be kind to yourself, let go of perfection and show up. You got this!

Because this is a great reminder. Grateful to have being able to show up my friends

There is purpose in everything

It’s amazing how you can plant a seed and not only have a plant but eventually fruits. I know I wrote a blog about bearing fruits already so I won’t focus too much on that. A plant was my inspiration for today’s blog so hence all the plant talk. I think plants have life figured out. Plants simply are. Their only focus is to do what they are supposed to do. Plants produce the basic food for all living organisms and they make oxygen. But they do all of this without a thought or worry. I feel like there is such a natural and easy going flow in nature and animals.

And I know you’re reading this and wondering where I am going with this. Humans are more evolved than animals. As we evolved, it seems we complicated things. Our freedom of choice has made life complicated. Each group thinks their choice is best. We worry about what to consume and how to act. And the possible outcomes are endless. What happened to simplicity? At our cores, who are we? I like to believe that we are beings of love because God is love and we are of God.

Our innate choices should reflect love.

Even if you are unsure of your purpose in life, you should still have an understanding of who you are and what you do. The plant that inspired me was a desert rose. Two lanky stems, maybe ten leaves but the stem was bending from the weight of three flowers. Honestly, if there were no flowers, I would have assumed it was dead. It was just an odd image. Despite looking like it was dead, with no bounty of leaves, the plant was able to fulfill its purpose and bear flowers. Sometimes we think we are bare and have nothing to offer God. But He can perform miracles. All we need is a willing heart. If you feel like you have nothing left to offer Him, offer your heart.

No matter where you find yourself right now, you can make your life better. In a song by Koryn Hawthorne, she sings that there is no place where mercy and grace can’t find her. And it’s so true. No matter what negative thing we label ourselves, God doesn’t see us that way. He extends His mercy and grace always. So today, stop beating yourself up for past mistakes. Know that you can be used for good right where you are and start working towards making better choices. Wake up every day with the intention to do/ be better than you were yesterday. It doesn’t take big moments, it takes a series of small moments to become who you were meant to be. You got this!

emPower Part 1

Some years back, I hosted an event called Empower. And you guessed it, it was about empowerment, for both men and women. I was originally going to fly people in but then I realized we had a lot of locals who overcame their own obstacles and that was empowering. To see others who faced similar struggles from your island overcome them. I did fly one person in and I do believe all of the speakers were great. The thing about Empower was I had this big vision in my head and it took a lot of work. Unfortunately I ended up in debt because of it, but I did learn a lot.

Let me tell you, that event tested my faith. If it wasn’t for God, that event would not have happened. It was a lot of back and forth with sponsors and while I was getting ready for the opening event, I got a call from the hotel saying the payment wasn’t received as yet so they were going to be cancel. Chiiiiiiiiile! I prayed so hard and thankfully He came through.

I beat myself up about Empower for a few reasons. One, I think it’s an amazing concept and I really want to do another event like that but I am afraid. Financially it’s a big investment. Secondly, it didn’t have the amount of attendees as I would have liked so I see it as a failure. I just know that gems were dropped that could have helped so many but those in attendance definitely got their fill. And then, I feel like I took a few steps back in my own personal journey. Everything we need is already within us. Majority of the time, we already know what we need to do. After the event, because I was so focused on what went wrong, I allowed myself to go into a funk, and neglecting the lessons I learned.

After my son’s birth, I had to look within myself and be intentional about my life and how I wanted to move forward. The wonderful thing was that I was no longer starting “fresh” but I had a foundation of experience and knowledge. I knew what needed to be done, I just needed to do it. Life requires a certain level of intention. If not, we are kind of just going with the flow and not really in control of our destinies. I like order so routines are very handy for me. I make schedules and plan my days to maximize the time that I have. Ultimately God is in control of my day but it is my responsibility to show up fully and give my best. That means not adding too much on my plate or engaging in things that drain my energy. Distractions are going to come, but if you know what you set out to do, you will remain focused and see the distraction for what it is.

Self development is not a linear journey. In college I was depressed but didn’t know how to express that I was in a depression. I did things I should not have done and hurt people I didn’t intend to hurt. Getting pregnant with my daughter was my wake up call and I decided I wanted better. Even though I was doing better in a lot of areas of my life, I was still very negative which caused me to grow apart from some close friends. In some ways that pushed me to dig even deeper. My faith in God began to grow around the same. I always believed in God but I was seeing and experiencing things that could not be explained. So yes I was growing and loving life and then after Empower, I feel like things took a downward turn.

The changes never happen drastically. It’s usually small adjustments here and there and suddenly you find yourself where you don’t want to be. And then the cycle starts again to get back to where you want to be. But each time you learn a little more about yourself and your strengths. That’s why being intentional is so important. When you get caught up in the cycle and you aren’t actively doing anything to change it, you will keep going around and around in the same circle. You have to get honest with yourself and ask yourself where you want to be and if your current actions will get you there. If not, make a change.

Being intentional is waking up every day and knowing you have to make choices that will lead you to the best version of yourself. Yes, there will be times when a choice doesn’t produce the results you expected but instead of beating yourself up, learn from it and make a better choice the next time. The goal is to do better than you did the day before and be kind to yourself when you have a rough one.

Choose YOU…

Happy Tuesday! I usually look forward to Tuesdays because I get to connect with you all but today is extra special because it’s the day before my son’s birthday! The moms reading this know the emotional rollercoaster I will be on tonight looking back at baby pictures. I really don’t know why we do it to ourselves.

I have learnt so much about myself since my son’s birth. The breakup with his dad was bad although the relationship was fine prior to that. Navigating a breakup with an infant is a challenge that I don’t ever want to repeat. I am still grateful because that allowed something within me to break and cleared my vision. Since then I have gone down the rabbit hole of self development and self love.

A part of self love is setting boundaries that let people know which behaviors you will accept and which you will not. We all have different experiences that helped shaped us into who we are and even if two people went through the same thing, their personal interpretations of those experiences would be different. So boundaries are kind of ground rules for you to interact with others. Recently, I had a disagreement with a friend and I believe I had to establish a boundary. They felt the need to establish a boundary as well. We are both looking at the situation with our respective lenses on and we are both justified in our opinions of the matter. It doesn’t mean either one of us is wrong. Eventually we will come to a place where we can set that aside but until then we both have to do what we consider is right for our respective journeys.

As you grow, there will be times when you grow apart from people. And there will be times when you aren’t the right fit for someone’s journey either. Instead of worrying about what the other person thinks or what you could have done, it’s important to focus on your growth. How do you improve yourself? How do you become a better version of yourself? Everything happens for a reason and those who are meant to be in your life will be in your life. Another good friend of mine and I drifted apart years ago and this was someone I thought would be in my life forever. Last year we were able to have an honest conversation and clear some things and now we are good again. You have to trust the journey that you are on and that God will give you the people, things and wisdom you need to get through whatever you are facing.

This past weekend I made a commitment concerning my spiritual journey which I will tell you about in the coming weeks. Right now, I am not sure what my next step is but I know that God is guiding me and that is sufficient for me. I don’t know if it’s a gift or a curse but I tend to see the greatness in others even when I don’t always see it in myself. But other people’s journeys are not my business. Yes I can and will encourage them and speak to the greatness within them but I can’t make it my responsibility to ensure that they are doing what they need to do. All I can do is ensure that I am doing what I need to do and hopefully they will see that and be inspired to the same. I am releasing myself from feeling personally responsible for others’ journeys. We are here to motivate, encourage and inspire but never to dictate others.

I am going to wrap it up here because I think (I hope) you got the gist of what I am saying. Plus I have to go prepare for my son’s birthday celebration in school tomorrow. So have an amazing week and remember, as always, you got this!

Be willing to try…

Happy Wednesday! I got home late last night and was trying to edit so I could post but my eyes kept shutting down on me. It was a tiring day. I didn’t do much physically but mentally, it felt like I ran a marathon. My mind and body needed a break so I listened.

I had a lot of thoughts coming at me and it was overwhelming for a bit. Sometimes it is good to have someone to listen to you because they can point out things you may have missed or show you where you might be limiting yourself. We create these false realities in our heads based on a wide range of beliefs, most of them learned as a child. If we keep our thoughts in our minds, they might get jumbled and make it hard to grasp. Being able to speak to someone allows us to make sense of it and put those thoughts into perspective.

A lot of times when we tell ourselves we cannot do something, it isn’t because we aren’t capable, it’s simply fear talking. We may be afraid to take that next step. We may be afraid of rejection, hurt, dismissal or feeling inadequate. We tell ourselves we can’t do this because of that and we can’t do that because of this but we don’t speak the truth. The funny thing is “if you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”. When you tell yourself you are not capable of doing something, you are sending signals to your mind that limit your abilities. It’s like shutting the power off. Whereas when you tell yourself that you are capable, your mind starts working to ensure you accomplish whatever it is. You may not get it on the first try, but your mind will get more creative in order to accomplish the goal.

Sometimes we have limiting beliefs that we allowed others to place on us. Family, friends, teachers, or even strangers may have told us something that they believed about us and we believed them and adopted that thought. The higher we regard that person, the quicker we are to believe what they said. And I don’t believe they had malicious intentions when they said whatever they said. They may have been trying to help you and worded it wrong. The fact remains that these thoughts float around in our heads rent free and can cause self doubt.

It is important to identify your limiting beliefs and it can be hard to do so alone. It is absolutely OK to seek a therapist and work through your limiting beliefs together. If you’re like me, you can also begin researching on your own and make a list of the limiting beliefs you think you have and that could be a starting point with your therapist. The goal of identifying your limiting beliefs is so you can work on eliminating them. There are times where it gets really tough. Working on yourself isn’t always the zen vibe we think of. That’s why I always suggest working with a professional. They can assist you and help you through the darkness.

This week pay attention to how you speak when you are faced with a challenge. Do you hear yourself saying “ I can’t” a lot? Or do you avoid doing new things? I am challenging you to try something new this week. You can be honest and ask for assistance but the point is to push past the discomfort and anxiety. Is there something you have been wanting to try but have been hesitant? It could be a new recipe, hairstyle (nothing drastic), or maybe you always wanted to go to salsa classes. Give it a try. If you go to the salsa class and you don’t like it, you don’t have to go back. But what if you do like it? That opens a world of possibility for you.

We Have a great week! You got this!

Triggered? 5 things you can do to relax

Life isn’t always a bed of roses. Especially when you’re trying to get your life in order and show up as your best self. You will get tested. Some heavy feelings can be triggered. And that’s fine. It’s ok to sit with your feelings and work through them. But what do you do when you feel overwhelmed by those feelings? How do you cope with heavy feelings and difficult choices?

Part of learning yourself is understanding firstly, what triggers you and secondly, how you cope with those feelings once they are there. It is important to know which words or actions trigger negative emotions in you. Once you identify the trigger, you will be able to identify the way you cope with those negative feelings. If not, you may not realize how one is affecting the other and therefore won’t be able to break the cycle. There are positive and negative coping mechanisms. Some people cope with issues by drinking and others by harming themselves. These are definitely negative coping mechanisms.

In the movie “For colored girls”, they also addressed promiscuity as a negative coping mechanism. The movie covers a lot of issues women face and is a must see.

Instead of those negative coping mechanisms that only make you forget the issues for a while but doesn’t resolve them, we should all incorporate more positive coping mechanisms. Learning to sit with the emotions and using the discomfort to help us grow as individuals. If you are like me, you don’t like to deal with feelings. I would probably “I don’t know” a therapist to death. (Just kidding)

But I have realized that understanding your emotions is much better than ignoring them. Just by acknowledging the feeling or feelings, it reduces the intensity of the feeling.

When I am going through a difficult situation or experiencing feelings I am unsure about, there are a few things that I do instead of running away. But before I got to that point, I had to figure out what makes me happy. I wrote a list of the things I like or make me happy. This doesn’t have to be difficult. On my list, I have a cup of coffee, a hot shower and a good book, amongst other things. You can also add more intricate answers, but don’t forget the simple things. This list will also help you to incorporate more self- care into your routine. Basically once you have your list, try to do 2 or 3 things every day.

Once you are aware of your coping mechanisms and also know some things you like, when you are triggered, you will be able to respond and not react to those negative emotions. If you can, remove yourself from the situation and take some time for yourself. The first thing I usually do to try to understand what’s happening and why I am feeling the way I am feeling is to journal. Write, write, write. Just get it out of your system. You can look for prompts online if you are unsure where to begin. The most important thing is being honest. No one else is going to read what you write so don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself. Writing allows you to clear your mind and can give you a better overview of what is happening.

Another great way to calm yourself and clear your mind is spending time in nature. If you can, go for a walk. The movement is good for your body and you get to change your scenery. For us living on an island, heading to a beach is also a great way to spend time outdoors. Chances are there will be something to remind you of the beauty of life during that time. Another quick mood booster is listening to music. Don’t get stuck on the sad songs too much but try to incorporate some feel good music. Play your favorites. Dance a little. Or a lot. Play songs that remind you of the good times. If a song is playing and it is making you feel down, change it! If music isn’t your thing, you can always watch your favorite movie.

Last but definitely not least, I pray about the situation. I pray to see the lesson I need to learn. I pray for guidance. I pray for wisdom. I pray for compassion. I pour it all out to God and trust that He will work things out for my good. And when I overreact or give in to the negative emotions, I pray for forgiveness. Having a relationship with God means being honest and reaching out even when I think I have messed up. His grace is sufficient for me.

Next time when someone triggers you and you feel overwhelmed, I pray you will do one or all of these things and feel a sense of calm. It’s not easy but you got this!

Hiking is a great way to unwind, especially with views like this