Let the sunshine in

I pray your Wednesday was kind to you. It has been forever since I took the time to sit down and share with you. (almost 6 weeks!) I thought I needed a little break because things were getting hectic yet truth be told, it was extended as I allowed myself to focus on the distractions rather than getting to work. A lot has not really happened in that time but also a lot has happened.

This year I decided to check some things off of my to do list that have been sitting there for a while. Thus I decided to focus my efforts on those and allowed the blog to suffer a bit. I have realized that my writing brings me clarity and allows me to get my thoughts together. I actually wrote a complete different draft this morning but now that I am behind the laptop, this is taking a complete different turn. Partially because writing that draft inspired me to complete a task I was procrastinating on and it turned out better than I expected. And by focusing on that small win, I am inspiring myself. Sometimes we listen to the negative voice in our heads or we suffer from imposter syndrome causing us to procrastinate. There have been numerous researches on why we procrastinate and one of the reasons is we doubt ourselves. We talk ourselves out of it before we even begin the task. By focusing on the win, I switched my perspective from being concerned that it would not come out well to embracing that it did and it was much easier than expected. That thought snowballed into me being more productive in an hour than I had been all day.

In general, I feel like we have all taken on a bit more. We have realized or have been forced to realize that life is fragile. The pandemic has shown us that both young and old can die. So we have decided to do better and be better. But we are juggling more in an uncertain environment. We are tired yet every day we push on. Collectively, we need to take a breath. Or maybe it’s just me. This is a friendly reminder that we can’t be everything to everyone all of the time and we need to give ourselves grace. When we begin to feel overwhelmed, a quick prayer and some deep breaths can help. We are capable of being productive, creative, helpful and so much more. We need only to do the next task well and then so on and so on. Do your best day by day.

Death is affecting us all in some way. You may have lost someone, know someone who lost someone or concerned you may lose someone. In an effort to keep going, we may not always process the emotions associated with loss and grief. Grief is a heavy burden and it can knock the wind out of you. We can get caught up in a cycle that does not serve us well and not even realize how long it has been going on. Our routines get disrupted and we adjust for what we think is a temporary time and then that becomes our new routine. I feel like these times call for us to be more aware of and evaluate our routines and habits more often. Are these habits making me happy or am I just going through the notions? Try to do something daily that makes you happy.

Be kind to yourself as well as others. We could all use a little more kindness in our days. Schedule breaks throughout your day to take a little breather. Create small moments of gratitude. There is beauty in everything. Celebrate the big and small wins. You are doing your best and you deserve happiness. Take time to celebrate you! You are amazing! Let’s spread a little more love and positivity this week and who knows, maybe we can lift each others’ spirits.

The 5 Ps

Happy Thursday! I hope this week is treating you well.

Let me be real for a minute. I feel like this week was lowkey about to kick my butt. I was feeling tired, I missed an important deadline and Tuesday came and went and there was no blog post. I really had to sit down and take inventory of what was happening. I had to take responsibility for my actions. Although I was aware of everything I had to do and kept reminding myself about it, I did not take any actionable steps to avoid my poor performance. The 5 Ps are: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance. I was not planning my days properly to maximize productivity. I was not sticking to my bedtime or the kids’ and it was affecting my energy. I knew I had an assignment due but didn’t start working on it enough in advance and I kept telling myself to write the blog post but did not actually open the laptop to do so.

I love to plan so really this should not be a problem. I was holding myself back with the mentality that because I did not have my planner yet, I could not properly plan. Last night I sat down with an empty notebook to write the schedule for an online class I am taking. With that info, I then created a bite- size daily action to avoid missing any other deadlines. I reviewed my morning and nighttime routines and made adjustments to those. I also realized I was spending too much time on social media. My goal this week is to cut back on the mindless scrolling and fill that time with intentional work, whether reading class materials or prepping for the next day. Today I plan to make a cleaning routine again. My biggest hurdle has always been preparing a weekly menu for family meals so I will try to work on that as well and allow some wiggle room.

In the mornings, I am intentionally setting time aside for prayer and worship. My relationship with God cannot grow if I don’t spend time with Him. I also know from past experience that this quiet time benefits my daily life and overall wellbeing. We have 24 hours in a day and if we plan and utilize those hours correctly, we can accomplish a lot. Start by cutting back on social media by 20 minutes. Wake up 30 minutes earlier than usual. Read a few pages during your lunchbreak. You may be writing your goals down this week or maybe you already did. Knowing what you want a year from now is great, but do you know the daily steps you need to take to get there? Your life changes day by day. That’s the beauty of it, every day you have a new opportunity to do better than you did the day before.

Be realistic about what you want to accomplish because we are still limited by time so don’t overload yourself. Pick a couple goals and then break them down. You will realize that daily it turns out to be a lot. Focus on those, achieve them and then strive more bigger goals. Step by step and little by little you will accomplish all you have wanted. Being intentional and not procrastinating will allow you to reach the end goal so much faster. The better prepared you are, the more confident you are and the better you perform. Life happens and things can change in the blink of an idea, being prepared helps you pivot easier when that happens. Instead of feeling harassed and stressed, start the day prepared and ready. You will be surprised how much time you end up having and how much you can accomplish.

I pray you have an amazing week! Take some time to review your routines and adjust if needed. Put proper plans in place to help you excel this year! Ladies, you can also review Proverbs 31, the Proverbs 31 woman plans properly! Guys proper planning can help you find your wife of noble character! As always, seek God and consult with him about your routines and daily life. Chat with you next week!

Heart Check 1,2

Happy 2022! I wish all of you the best for the new year. Some of us may still be processing the past two years and that’s O.K. We are here, we are living and we can and will make the most of it. There has been a lot of debate lately about new year’s resolutions and social media seems to be divided. Whether you decide to write resolutions or not is up to you and you should do what works best for you. I do believe in reflecting at the past year and having some vision for the new one.

It is easy to plan and have goals but it is important to consult God about it. That is where a heart check comes in. The new year represents new beginnings and new opportunities and we may be tempted to run full speed ahead. But where is your heart? How can you know which direction to take if you don’t know what season you are in. Many of us lost loved ones this past year or two. We have been forced to isolate more and more. We have dropped some of our habits and picked up new ones. Have you taken some time to reflect and see what is working and what is not working? Are we still seeking God with our whole hearts?

I was recently doing something and I heard a soft voice asking where was my heart. I was shocked but I realized that I was simply doing it without actually questioning myself about the reason. Life happens and we get swept up in routines but sometimes we cling to the routines even after they are no longer assets to us. Where your heart is, there your treasure will be also. Is your heart in the right place? Are you doing things for the right reasons? Are you seeking the right things? Take some time to pray about it and seek His counsel. Now is the best time to take a moment before going over your goals to see if your heart is aligned with what you say you want. Pray that He will reveal the areas you need to work on as we start this new year.

We may be quick to ask God for the desires of our hearts but we should check in and be sure that the desires of our hearts align with His purpose for our lives. Are we living intentionally or just going with the flow? Remind yourself of what He has promised and trust that He will bring them to fruition. Just like we take our cars to service, we should check our hearts to make sure all is functioning well. We consume so much daily between social media, news, movies, and music. Ask yourself if you are immersing yourself in His word enough daily or if you need to spend more time with Him.

I pray this week started well for you and I pray this year you are ready to receive the desires of your heart. Have an amazing rest of the week!


Happy Saturday! Happy December!

I hope this post finds you and your well and with a jolly holiday spirit. If not, I pray you know that it will get better and to take it one day at a time. I think I have been avoiding writing this post because I am unsure of how it will take shape. As I learn more about myself, I learn more about the issues I care about. First, let me start by speaking about healing in general. We all go through things in life that we need to heal from. Trauma is not always physical. Sometimes we need to heal from things we learned in childhood or things that were said to us. As we grow and learn about ourselves, we also uncover things (mindsets, patterns, etc) that no longer serve us.

Healing cannot happen without self- awareness.

If we are not honest with ourselves, we will be unable to truly change our ways. I believe every person at some point of their lives, had something they did not like about themselves. It can be hard to face the person in the mirror, especially when we know we can do better. But if we never take an honest look and become aware of our negative traits, we can’t expect to fix them. Healing also isn’t linear. You will make great progress some days, and then others, it will feel like you barely made a step in the right direction. Don’t let the slow periods get you down. Some times we are tested to see where we still need to heal. Acknowledge it and move on. Next time you will do better. The other thing with healing is, as we fix one problem area, others may arise. We tend to try and fix what we can see but there are usually other things that caused the gaping wound and only by trying to address the wound, do we find the cause. Our actions are fueled by our thoughts. A lot of thoughts that we have held on to for years. It won’t be a quick fix to change our mindsets. As you learn and grow, you access more information and need to adjust your mindset continuously. You may be able to identify the way in which you self- sabotage (drinking, drugs, etc) but then you need to work on correcting the mindset that causes you to self- sabotage.

Our environments play a big role in our growth and healing. We may outgrow some relationships as well. It isn’t because any one person is bad but the relationship may not be beneficial to either anymore. Consider an alcoholic. He or she may be doing the work, is aware that they are an alcoholic, aware of what causes them to drink and has decided to be sober. They have done a great job but they still have a friend or two who drinks too much around. They may think they are helping those friends but if after a period of time, those friends do not adjust their behavior, they then pose a threat to the sober person. Over time, that person may feel frustrated and revert to their old ways. You have to make sure that the people you surround yourself with are supporting you (and vice versa) to be a better person and respecting your decisions. You can’t always be the fixer for others.

Sometimes we trust people and then later find out that they did not deserve our trust. It is easy to beat ourselves up but we assessed the situation with the information we had at the time. As we grow, we have to learn to let these people go. They may not be ready to confront themselves. Or maybe they have started the healing process themselves but are stuck on a level you have already passed. If they are unwilling to face that part of themselves and that part is detrimental to your wellbeing, you have to let that person go and allow them to do what they need to do. Hurt people hurt people. There are a lot of people walking around with trauma, who are either refusing to see their trauma or refusing to see how their trauma affects others. It is O.K to protect yourself from them. You have worked too hard to do and be better. You deserve to put yourself first. Tough times do not last but if we remain too focused on the bad, we will never see the good.

This Holiday season, I hope you celebrate your journey of healing or if you haven’t started yet, I pray this is the moment you decide to heal. You deserve to. You deserve to be happy now in this life, in this body, in these times, at this age. So put yourself first and heal.

Why are you fearful, oh ye of little faith?

Happy Tuesday!

I am excited just typing those words because 1) I am meeting my self imposed deadline and 2) I am excited about today’s message.

Every time I miss a week, I usually run into someone who randomly brings up my blog. At first I thought it was just God showing me that people do read my blogs but it happened the past two weeks and I was like, maybe that’s God nudging me to sit down and type my blog post. Thank you to everyone who reads my posts and everyone who has subscribed. I am grateful for all of you. Usually when I am not posting, it is because things are a bit difficult but the past two weeks have been good. I did change my schedule a bit so my usual “Dominique- mom- entrepreneur” balance was a bit off. I also decided to take on some more opportunities. There is no science or formula to balance everything. I read once to think of the things we are juggling as balls and determining for ourselves which balls are rubber and which are glass. Some are obvious glass balls and you do not let those drop because they can shatter. Rubber balls can always be picked back up. I dropped a few rubber balls which is not a bad thing. My issue was leaving them on the ground too long.

I was also hesitant to write because there is a new opportunity that I have been excited about. I knew it would be a challenge and did not want to share too much too soon. For the purpose of this story, I will say everything was falling into place perfectly. Now this particular opportunity is also a test of my faith. Anyway, I was over here excited and finally told someone about it last night. Today I had a call and all was well. Then I received an email that knocked the wind out of my sails. My initial reaction was that all was lost. After some deep breaths and a message to the same friend I spoke to last night, I realized God wouldn’t give me this opportunity just to take it away from me. I took a moment and prayed and then that same friend called me and prayed with me. And maybe even more than the prayer she prayed, was her being there and helping me fix my heart’s posture. As I hung up from the call, I received another email. That situation that I thought was hopeless wasn’t so hopeless after all. I’m leaving all of the juicy details for my future blog post with the full testimony.

I have already spoken about making sure you have the right people in your corner. The people who are truly for you will always push you to be a better version of yourself. They will do it lovingly though amd they will be there for the journey. I also want to talk about emotions and our heart’s posture. Our emotions are real but they can be misleading. Today I felt disappointed and sad and I could have wallowed in those feelings. Granted someone was being positive and I was just like “blah” but I realized that I was choosing to be negative. Sometimes we question others’ trust in God because our faith is wavering. Instead of widening the gap, we should pause and check ourselves and see if we are trusting and believing God or trying to handle everything on our own. I am also grateful that I have been surrounded by persons of great faith. The kind of friends who would climb a roof and lower me down to God.

A dream deferred is not a dream denied. Sometimes the storms come to strengthen us. Sometimes we exaggerate a shower of rain to be a storm as well. This week, renew your trust in God. He is still a way maker, miracle worker and promise keeper. He can do above and beyond what we could imagine. If He has brought you to it, He will lead you through it. Also check your heart’s posture. At times, we need to remind our hearts of what we know to be true. Bless your friends. Just because. Pray for them because you never know when they will be the pillars you lean on. Have a blessed week all and speak to you on Tuesday!

You will reap as you sow!

Happy Thursday! (Truth be told, this had to be uploaded yesterday but I forgot to post but yay me for writing it earlier this week. Let me have my small win lol)

Hope you are having an amazing week thus far. I hope this week you plant some seeds and lots of them. I am not talking about actual seeds. Plant seeds of kindness and love. Do something kind for someone from the goodness of your heart.  Help others when you can. A lot of times we think we have nothing to offer because we aren’t where we want to be in our own lives, but sometimes simply being a step ahead is enough to be able to help someone. 

So plant seeds. Lots of them. You never know which one will bear fruit. And most farmers will tell you to plant more than you need because you lose some to the elements, some never shoot and others get damaged or die despite your best efforts. The past few days were an eye opener for me and highlighted to me how we never know when the seed we planted will bear fruit. I planted seeds over ten years ago while I was in college. And I planted them with no selfish intentions. I genuinely wanted to be there for the person. I never even considered it “help”. Yet at a moment where I needed to be uplifted, the person stepped up. Despite my protests, that person poured into me. 

As a giver, I pour and pour into others but to be poured into is always humbling. It has been hard for me to accept the help but I have been blessed with amazing people who have poured into me and allowed me to pour into them. You cannot pour from an empty cup and I believe when you feel yourself getting low, you need to turn to God but keep your eyes open for the ones He sends to help you. This makes me pay more attention to whom God sends for me to bless. When we do good, good doesn’t necessarily come back to us from the source we think it will but it always come back. Your actions are never in vain. 

Remember that seeds all shoot at different times. But no matter how long it takes for them to break ground, their purpose is to bear fruit. Be grateful for the blessings and be thankful when you are the blessing. If you are like me and have a hard time allowing people to be there for you, take this advice I received from Castel: Do not block your blessings and do not stop others from being a blessing. 

Imagine an artist working hard on a painting to gift to a friend and that friend then says they don’t want it.  That is crushing. I have learned that some people look forward to the moment that they are able to do something nice for someone who helped them or treated them nice. It’s selfish to rob them of the opportunity to be nice in return. 

So this week, plant seeds. Be kind to everyone because this year has been tough. Look around and be mindful of those willing to pour into you. If you feel their intentions are genuine then allow them to pour. Sometimes we burn ourselves out trying to do everything ourselves when there are people around who are willing to be there for us if we allowed them. Don’t block your own blessings! I know it’s tough but take it one blessing at a time. Hope you have an amazing week! 

Pray, plan and believe

Happy Thursday! Holding myself accountable by writing and posting this blog. I didn’t forget to post on Tuesday. I have been having a tough week and decided to consider me first but today I felt like I should check in because we sometimes convince ourselves that we are alone when we aren’t. If you are having a tough time, I hope this helps.

I am a firm believer of everything happens for a reason. We may not understand why but over time, things are revealed. It is just hard waiting. I also believe that God is working it out for our good. We just need to remain obedient and disciplined. Audra, one of my sisters in faith, mentioned once that when we are going through difficult times, we should remain silent before calling out to God. Because in our anger, we may say something we wished we had not. So I am not going to share what I am going through now and come across negative or defeated but I will trust and wait on the Lord.

I have taken some breaks from social media because social media platforms are used as highlight reels. when you see others succeeding, it may make you question your progress. I am happy for others but I don’t want to be distracted. I read somewhere that you self- sabotage opposite to your love language. For example, if quality time is your love language, when you self- sabotage, you isolate yourself. I have been telling myself not to isolate and I actually opened up. It was an uncomfortable experience but all new things can be at for at. God has been moving in my life since the beginning of the year and although I am not sure where this journey will take me, I have faith in the One who is steering.

I will be taking some time to review and plan for this next season. The right friends are necessary and I am grateful for those who listen to me and step up when needed. You are not alone and you can get through this. Pray, Plan and Believe.

Life and its’ responsibilities are the raindrops and the water and then there is God (the pink flamingo floatie) keeping me afloat.

To encourage and be encouraged

Happy Wednesday! I know I cut it close but what matters is that I did post on Wednesday. Still trying to figure out the best time to start so I can post on Tuesdays. This week hasn’t gone quite as planned which has caused delays across the board. 

I was never a person that had a lot of friends. I know a lot of people but I actually don’t have that much people checking in on a daily or weekly basis. When I was younger this bothered me a bit especially when I would look at others’ friend circles.  Comparison is truly the thief of joy. The past few years I have learnt that although I may not have friends who are always present, I do have a good group of friends who I can depend on. They have shown time and time again that when they are needed, they show up, no questions asked. Ok, maybe a few questions but you get the point. I know who has my back and I definitely have theirs. 

Since I wasn’t used to having close friends, when I did meet someone, I became protective and a bit possessive. It’s like squeezing your fist tighter to keep water in but in the process the water trickles out. I have held on to friendships that I should have left because of FOMO (fear of missing out). Going above and beyond even when it wasn’t reciprocated. But thank God, I started putting me first. By establishing boundaries and not being so much of a giver, eventually those who weren’t meant to continue with me drifted away. I began meeting likeminded individuals who mirrored similar values and the friendships were reciprocal instead of one sided. And I am not saying I wasn’t sometimes the toxic friend. I have had my faults too. I am working on reaching out to my friends. I tend to get caught up with work and assume their well instead of a quick check in. 

Proverbs is rich with wise counsel and Proverbs 27:9 says that a sweet friendship refreshes the soul. I believe our friendships are meant to help us grow on our journey. Some friendships are only meant for a season and others last a lifetime. The right company is important because the people we spend the most time with do affect our lives. Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”. Are the people around you sharpening you or making you dull? Are they leading you toward God and your goals or are they distracting you? Someone not being a good friend for you does not make them a bad person. Friends are meant to hold us accountable. 

On my faith journey, I have realized the importance of Christian friends. They offer me space to discuss my faith and any questions I may have. Sometimes I need biblical reminders and they are there and quick to assist. It is easy to get caught up with worldly things and they remind me of Christian principles. It hasn’t been super easy to find people who are on similar paths. Imagine having a hobby and not knowing anyone else who likes the hobby or knows about it. When you do meet someone who knows about it, you can exchange knowledge and ideas. That is not to say that you only need friends who like the same things you do. It’s also important to respect everyone’s choices.

This week, reach out to that person who has been on your mind. You never know what may come of it. Appreciate the friends you have and be open to making new ones. Most times we psyche ourselves out of great friendships. Do something nice for someone you know. Invite someone out. Exploring adult friendships can be scary because we all have some trauma from past friendships but it’s a beautiful thing when two people connect and help each other shine. We all need support on this journey. Have a great week and I will check in with you next week!  

Checking in…

Happy Saturday! I really wanted to post this week and I used last week’s late posting as a buffer so here is another Saturday blog! I will do my best to get my usual Tuesday one out this coming Tuesday. 

A lot of times my topic comes to me through my readings and reflections but to be honest, things have been busy. Maybe I should give you all an update and introduce you to me because I have a lot of new subscribers that may not know much about me. My name is Dominique obviously and I am an entrepreneur and single mom of two who loves to read, spend time in her garden and loves her kids. I have two dogs and a rabbit and secretly want a mini farm. (Shh, keep it between us). Tropsical is my company and we make ice pops (paletas), boozy pouches and other yummy frozen treats. I also help my parents with their businesses so you can imagine, things get hectic. I am learning and growing as a Christian. The journey has been challenging but also rewarding. 

I have written blogs about consistency yet my blog postings have been inconsistent. As I think about it, there really is no reason not to be consistent with my blogs. So I will try to do better, I used to post on Tuesdays pretty consistently so I will keep the Tuesday/ Wednesday post date. If you don’t see a blog by Thursday, please feel free to message me! I really think it is time for me to get my planner to keep me organized. I have been getting things checked off of my to do list and sticking to my budget. I finally got my Apple Watch synced to the new phone (it literally took the entire day). And for the past two weeks I have been pretty consistent with closing my rings. These days I am more active than I was before but I am also incorporating stretches and walking until I can get back to the gym. 

Earlier this year, I was contacted by an auto dealership to partner with them as a brand ambassador and as part of that, a couple months ago, I directed and starred in a vehicle commercial. The video hit 70k views last week on the videographer’s YouTube channel so that is pretty amazing. I still don’t know how to feel about it. I have a few other projects that I want to work on but the end of the year is about to be a busy time for me and I don’t want to stretch myself too thin. 

I was speaking to a friend of mine about parenting and re-parenting your inner child. We have all gone through something that we consider traumatic. Sometimes that inner child is still waiting for validation or love and we have to step up and honor them. It’s also challenging to navigate your past while trying to ensure that your kids’ present isn’t traumatic. The work is necessary though, setting healthy boundaries and helping them to have the confidence needed to speak up and not learn certain behaviors. Be gentle with yourself if you are re- parenting yourself or think you are having a hard time parenting. You won’t always get it right but being honest about it will help you get through it. Be open for feedback and communication in general. 

That’s about it for me for now, if there is anything you would like me to discuss or something you want to know more about, please feel free to leave a comment.  Look out on Tuesday for the new blog

The past couple

Who do you serve?

Matthew 6:24

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. 

Starting this week’s blog with a bible verse that has been playing over in my mind a couple of days now. It was interesting that this verse shows up in Matthew and Luke. As if it was so important that it needed to be repeated. I know the verse mentions money but I feel like in this modern world, there are a lot of things that replace money. But the principle of the verse remains the same. You cannot serve two masters. You can’t serve God and give in to worldly things. I feel like society is riddled with false idols and people try to connect them to God to make it OK. 

When we try to multi task, studies show that you can’t give everything the same amount of effort. So while you think you are getting things done, you are not giving your best. If I am trying to have a relationship with God and balance an active social life, one of the two things will dominate my time. But both won’t be equal. I am not saying you can’t do both but you need to be aware of your priorities. Time is limited and we need to spend it wisely. If I have twenty minutes to spare, I could either pray or scroll through Facebook but I cannot do both. If I constantly choose to scroll through Facebook that will impact my relationship with God negatively. 

I have mentioned before that discipline is necessary. This blog should have and could have been posted since Tuesday but I kept procrastinating and focusing on other things from my to do list. Those things needed to get done but because I put them first, something else didn’t get done. I have been trying to avoid calling myself a Christian as I feel as if the title is heavy. There are so many misconceptions and I also don’t want the responsibility that comes with it. But this journey has taught me about grace. I am a Christian and I am human. Obeying God is not always as easy as 1,2,3. God knows this and He isn’t asking us to be perfect. He is asking us to show up and try. 

Our lives are a series of choices and we are in control. If there is something happening in our lives that we do not like, we can change things by making better choices. We can choose to be disciplined and stick to our priorities. Go with an open and willing heart. God knew we were imperfect yet He died for us. Instead of beating ourselves up when we fall, we should turn to God and ask Him for His forgiveness and grace. We can change and we can always change for the better. 

Do not attempt to serve two Gods because we know how that ends. Seek Him first daily and stand strong in faith knowing that He is a way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, and a light in the darkness.