Author: Dominique Hodge

Happy January! Hoping this year started off softly for you. I have been focusing on spending more time with Jesus and studying my Bible. I am part of a Whatsapp group and its focus is studying the love of God and I also have a women’s devotional that I read. I will link them below if anyone is interested.

Two devotionals might seem like a lot but I am always surprised at how the lessons align. I am in a season in my life where there has been some losses and lessons. I really want to work on my relationship with God and discover how to make the most of it. Losses and lessons are never fun but I have learned that they are beneficial for growth. Today’s devotionals made me think about God’s plan and love for us. Jesus wept for Lazarus even with the knowledge that He was about to bring him back to life. His compassion for us and the ability to feel our pain caused Him to cry for his friend. Jesus doesn’t want us to hurt and although He could not eliminate our pain, He has tried to reduce our hurt. The Bible is a great manual on how we should live our lives. If we follow Jesus and live as He intended us to, we could avoid a lot of suffering.

I’ve lost a couple of people who I considered friends these past couple of years. As the relationships started to wane, boundaries were set to try to salvage the relationships but when those were not respected, I had to remove myself. Those working on themselves are familiar with setting boundaries and upholding them. Boundaries are meant to protect us. Person A does something that we do not like and we are able to establish a boundary so they are not able to do it again. Boundaries are meant to strengthen the relationship. God has also established boundaries for us, because He loves us. Boundaries create safe places for us. God wants us to be safe and He understands that some things can bring us pain and suffering. Boundaries are not meant to limit us. God wants us to have an abundant life. In order to have that, there are some places we cannot be (physically, mentally, and spiritually).

In John 15 we learn that Jesus is the vine, His Father is the gardener and we are the branches. The gardener prunes the vine to ensure that it bears fruits. The branches cannot bear fruit if they do not remain in Jesus. We are also given a boundary. At least three times we are told to “remain in me” by Jesus and then He even tells us to remain in His love. When we move away from Jesus and His love, we can see how our lives change and we begin to struggle. In Matthew we are told to come to Him and we will find rest as His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Yet most times when things get heavy, we run from Jesus instead of to Him. So if Jesus sets this boundary to remain in Him then it must mean that He is our safe place. Why would we run from Him. Pruning is an act of love and is necessary for growth. God wants the fruit to bear but in order to do so, they must adhere to the boundaries set for their growth.

Our walks with God are very personal. Like plants, each person requires something else. The one who knows specifically what we need is God and He has told us to remain in Him. He knows the plans He has for us. If we are to see those plans fulfilled then we need to remain in Him. Remain in His love. Our safe place. As parents, we set boundaries for our kids. Our relationships are full of boundaries and boundaries are not a bad thing. It shows commitment to the relationship and the want to make the relationship mutually beneficial. John 15 gives us one example of a boundary we have but there are plenty more we can find throughout the Bible. It’s time to take heed of the boundaries Jesus has set for our benefit and adhere to them. When we begin to follow Jesus’ example then we can receive the peace promised us. Disregarding boundaries and doing what we wish will lead us down a path of suffering. And that’s a path we are not going down this year.

Bible Study Journal: https://a.co/d/1wcWKqP

Devotional: https://a.co/d/1wcWKqP https://a.co/d/cjfKCAl

Happy Saturday! I hope this finds you in great health and even greater spirits. This post is long overdue and I want to start by saying I am well. My hiatus was a lesson for me to learn. At the beginning of the year, I knew that March and April would be busy months for me and I made a decision that I would put the blog on hold and start back writing in May. May led to June, June to July and here we are ten months after my last post. I don’t even know who is still here with me. For a few weeks now the blog has been on my mind and I have been a bit anxious about it because I didn’t know where to begin. Today I felt a nudge to start writing and I am trying to be obedient.

I know I am not the only one who had a lot to deal with this year. Most of what I dealt with was actually pleasant and good. It just felt like the buildup to the holidays every month. As one experience was over, there was something else. So much so that I have not really indulged in my wins or been able to wallow in my losses. My mindset was focused on getting through the next ‘thing’ and the next ‘thing’ after that. Spiritually, I have always struggled with giving things to God and relying on Him instead of myself. In April I took part in our Carnival as a vendor, which was an intense two weeks. I was proud of myself for maintaining a close relationship with God throughout that. Although it may seem weird to read Carnival in the same sentence with God, I received a message and vision and I followed through. I had a horrible toothache the entire time and barely slept as I worked with my parents from 9 AM until about 3 PM and then went into the booth for Carnival around 6 PM and didn’t leave until 2 or 3 AM. Trust me, I was weak and I turned to God and He sustained me. Of that, I am sure.

2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV: But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ‘ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

It was a great experience but there was loss and disappointment associated with that experience and I believe that stopped me from writing as well because I needed time to process what was happening. After that I was focused on my kids and getting my daughter ready to travel to New York for her dance intensive program. I was also trying to check more things off of my to do list and I was able to check a few. I was also focused on my finances, reducing debt and investing in myself and my business. I left New York a few days early to work on a festival and then it was time to get ready for back to school. My dog then had puppies at the end of August and taking care of 11 dogs has been hectic. Luckily, I am down to 6 as the others found homes. Simply put, life was life-ing. Although I did maintain a relationship with God, I can be honest and say that these past couple of months it was not as close as I would have liked it. One of my flaws is relying on myself when things get hectic.

Last month I took a look at my year and I am proud of all that I have accomplished but it was also a reminder to get focused on God again. I believe that can be intimidating because you know you should do better and then you don’t feel worthy but those are lies. God wants a relationship with us, a close one. Seasons of our lives may change and our relationships fluctuate as well. God is asking us for a perfect relationship, He is asking us to continually seek Him. He knows we are flawed yet He loves us. Just like in the garden, He doesn’t want us to hide from Him. Once we realized we have strayed from Him, we need only to turn to Him, repent, ask forgiveness and start moving towards Him again. Straying does not necessarily mean going back to a life of sin and wild abandonment. It could simply mean not spending enough time with Him or not surrendering our hearts fully to Him.

As we near the end of the year and you do your audit of the past months, do not forget to check your relationship with God. If you are satisfied with your relationship then continue to maintain it. If you aren’t happy with it, this is your reminder that you can improve it every day. Find comfort in His word.

Lamentations 3 :22-23 – The Lord’s love never ends; His mercies never stop. They are new every morning.

You can never stray too far from the Lord. He is patient and He is waiting for you to come to Him. The first step is the hardest but it is worth it. I pray this holiday season treats you well. As always, you got this!

I pray your Wednesday was kind to you. It has been forever since I took the time to sit down and share with you. (almost 6 weeks!) I thought I needed a little break because things were getting hectic yet truth be told, it was extended as I allowed myself to focus on the distractions rather than getting to work. A lot has not really happened in that time but also a lot has happened.

This year I decided to check some things off of my to do list that have been sitting there for a while. Thus I decided to focus my efforts on those and allowed the blog to suffer a bit. I have realized that my writing brings me clarity and allows me to get my thoughts together. I actually wrote a complete different draft this morning but now that I am behind the laptop, this is taking a complete different turn. Partially because writing that draft inspired me to complete a task I was procrastinating on and it turned out better than I expected. And by focusing on that small win, I am inspiring myself. Sometimes we listen to the negative voice in our heads or we suffer from imposter syndrome causing us to procrastinate. There have been numerous researches on why we procrastinate and one of the reasons is we doubt ourselves. We talk ourselves out of it before we even begin the task. By focusing on the win, I switched my perspective from being concerned that it would not come out well to embracing that it did and it was much easier than expected. That thought snowballed into me being more productive in an hour than I had been all day.

In general, I feel like we have all taken on a bit more. We have realized or have been forced to realize that life is fragile. The pandemic has shown us that both young and old can die. So we have decided to do better and be better. But we are juggling more in an uncertain environment. We are tired yet every day we push on. Collectively, we need to take a breath. Or maybe it’s just me. This is a friendly reminder that we can’t be everything to everyone all of the time and we need to give ourselves grace. When we begin to feel overwhelmed, a quick prayer and some deep breaths can help. We are capable of being productive, creative, helpful and so much more. We need only to do the next task well and then so on and so on. Do your best day by day.

Death is affecting us all in some way. You may have lost someone, know someone who lost someone or concerned you may lose someone. In an effort to keep going, we may not always process the emotions associated with loss and grief. Grief is a heavy burden and it can knock the wind out of you. We can get caught up in a cycle that does not serve us well and not even realize how long it has been going on. Our routines get disrupted and we adjust for what we think is a temporary time and then that becomes our new routine. I feel like these times call for us to be more aware of and evaluate our routines and habits more often. Are these habits making me happy or am I just going through the notions? Try to do something daily that makes you happy.

Be kind to yourself as well as others. We could all use a little more kindness in our days. Schedule breaks throughout your day to take a little breather. Create small moments of gratitude. There is beauty in everything. Celebrate the big and small wins. You are doing your best and you deserve happiness. Take time to celebrate you! You are amazing! Let’s spread a little more love and positivity this week and who knows, maybe we can lift each others’ spirits.

Happy Thursday! I hope this week is treating you well.

Let me be real for a minute. I feel like this week was lowkey about to kick my butt. I was feeling tired, I missed an important deadline and Tuesday came and went and there was no blog post. I really had to sit down and take inventory of what was happening. I had to take responsibility for my actions. Although I was aware of everything I had to do and kept reminding myself about it, I did not take any actionable steps to avoid my poor performance. The 5 Ps are: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance. I was not planning my days properly to maximize productivity. I was not sticking to my bedtime or the kids’ and it was affecting my energy. I knew I had an assignment due but didn’t start working on it enough in advance and I kept telling myself to write the blog post but did not actually open the laptop to do so.

I love to plan so really this should not be a problem. I was holding myself back with the mentality that because I did not have my planner yet, I could not properly plan. Last night I sat down with an empty notebook to write the schedule for an online class I am taking. With that info, I then created a bite- size daily action to avoid missing any other deadlines. I reviewed my morning and nighttime routines and made adjustments to those. I also realized I was spending too much time on social media. My goal this week is to cut back on the mindless scrolling and fill that time with intentional work, whether reading class materials or prepping for the next day. Today I plan to make a cleaning routine again. My biggest hurdle has always been preparing a weekly menu for family meals so I will try to work on that as well and allow some wiggle room.

In the mornings, I am intentionally setting time aside for prayer and worship. My relationship with God cannot grow if I don’t spend time with Him. I also know from past experience that this quiet time benefits my daily life and overall wellbeing. We have 24 hours in a day and if we plan and utilize those hours correctly, we can accomplish a lot. Start by cutting back on social media by 20 minutes. Wake up 30 minutes earlier than usual. Read a few pages during your lunchbreak. You may be writing your goals down this week or maybe you already did. Knowing what you want a year from now is great, but do you know the daily steps you need to take to get there? Your life changes day by day. That’s the beauty of it, every day you have a new opportunity to do better than you did the day before.

Be realistic about what you want to accomplish because we are still limited by time so don’t overload yourself. Pick a couple goals and then break them down. You will realize that daily it turns out to be a lot. Focus on those, achieve them and then strive more bigger goals. Step by step and little by little you will accomplish all you have wanted. Being intentional and not procrastinating will allow you to reach the end goal so much faster. The better prepared you are, the more confident you are and the better you perform. Life happens and things can change in the blink of an idea, being prepared helps you pivot easier when that happens. Instead of feeling harassed and stressed, start the day prepared and ready. You will be surprised how much time you end up having and how much you can accomplish.

I pray you have an amazing week! Take some time to review your routines and adjust if needed. Put proper plans in place to help you excel this year! Ladies, you can also review Proverbs 31, the Proverbs 31 woman plans properly! Guys proper planning can help you find your wife of noble character! As always, seek God and consult with him about your routines and daily life. Chat with you next week!

Happy 2022! I wish all of you the best for the new year. Some of us may still be processing the past two years and that’s O.K. We are here, we are living and we can and will make the most of it. There has been a lot of debate lately about new year’s resolutions and social media seems to be divided. Whether you decide to write resolutions or not is up to you and you should do what works best for you. I do believe in reflecting at the past year and having some vision for the new one.

It is easy to plan and have goals but it is important to consult God about it. That is where a heart check comes in. The new year represents new beginnings and new opportunities and we may be tempted to run full speed ahead. But where is your heart? How can you know which direction to take if you don’t know what season you are in. Many of us lost loved ones this past year or two. We have been forced to isolate more and more. We have dropped some of our habits and picked up new ones. Have you taken some time to reflect and see what is working and what is not working? Are we still seeking God with our whole hearts?

I was recently doing something and I heard a soft voice asking where was my heart. I was shocked but I realized that I was simply doing it without actually questioning myself about the reason. Life happens and we get swept up in routines but sometimes we cling to the routines even after they are no longer assets to us. Where your heart is, there your treasure will be also. Is your heart in the right place? Are you doing things for the right reasons? Are you seeking the right things? Take some time to pray about it and seek His counsel. Now is the best time to take a moment before going over your goals to see if your heart is aligned with what you say you want. Pray that He will reveal the areas you need to work on as we start this new year.

We may be quick to ask God for the desires of our hearts but we should check in and be sure that the desires of our hearts align with His purpose for our lives. Are we living intentionally or just going with the flow? Remind yourself of what He has promised and trust that He will bring them to fruition. Just like we take our cars to service, we should check our hearts to make sure all is functioning well. We consume so much daily between social media, news, movies, and music. Ask yourself if you are immersing yourself in His word enough daily or if you need to spend more time with Him.

I pray this week started well for you and I pray this year you are ready to receive the desires of your heart. Have an amazing rest of the week!

Happy Saturday! Happy December!

I hope this post finds you and your well and with a jolly holiday spirit. If not, I pray you know that it will get better and to take it one day at a time. I think I have been avoiding writing this post because I am unsure of how it will take shape. As I learn more about myself, I learn more about the issues I care about. First, let me start by speaking about healing in general. We all go through things in life that we need to heal from. Trauma is not always physical. Sometimes we need to heal from things we learned in childhood or things that were said to us. As we grow and learn about ourselves, we also uncover things (mindsets, patterns, etc) that no longer serve us.

Healing cannot happen without self- awareness.

If we are not honest with ourselves, we will be unable to truly change our ways. I believe every person at some point of their lives, had something they did not like about themselves. It can be hard to face the person in the mirror, especially when we know we can do better. But if we never take an honest look and become aware of our negative traits, we can’t expect to fix them. Healing also isn’t linear. You will make great progress some days, and then others, it will feel like you barely made a step in the right direction. Don’t let the slow periods get you down. Some times we are tested to see where we still need to heal. Acknowledge it and move on. Next time you will do better. The other thing with healing is, as we fix one problem area, others may arise. We tend to try and fix what we can see but there are usually other things that caused the gaping wound and only by trying to address the wound, do we find the cause. Our actions are fueled by our thoughts. A lot of thoughts that we have held on to for years. It won’t be a quick fix to change our mindsets. As you learn and grow, you access more information and need to adjust your mindset continuously. You may be able to identify the way in which you self- sabotage (drinking, drugs, etc) but then you need to work on correcting the mindset that causes you to self- sabotage.

Our environments play a big role in our growth and healing. We may outgrow some relationships as well. It isn’t because any one person is bad but the relationship may not be beneficial to either anymore. Consider an alcoholic. He or she may be doing the work, is aware that they are an alcoholic, aware of what causes them to drink and has decided to be sober. They have done a great job but they still have a friend or two who drinks too much around. They may think they are helping those friends but if after a period of time, those friends do not adjust their behavior, they then pose a threat to the sober person. Over time, that person may feel frustrated and revert to their old ways. You have to make sure that the people you surround yourself with are supporting you (and vice versa) to be a better person and respecting your decisions. You can’t always be the fixer for others.

Sometimes we trust people and then later find out that they did not deserve our trust. It is easy to beat ourselves up but we assessed the situation with the information we had at the time. As we grow, we have to learn to let these people go. They may not be ready to confront themselves. Or maybe they have started the healing process themselves but are stuck on a level you have already passed. If they are unwilling to face that part of themselves and that part is detrimental to your wellbeing, you have to let that person go and allow them to do what they need to do. Hurt people hurt people. There are a lot of people walking around with trauma, who are either refusing to see their trauma or refusing to see how their trauma affects others. It is O.K to protect yourself from them. You have worked too hard to do and be better. You deserve to put yourself first. Tough times do not last but if we remain too focused on the bad, we will never see the good.

This Holiday season, I hope you celebrate your journey of healing or if you haven’t started yet, I pray this is the moment you decide to heal. You deserve to. You deserve to be happy now in this life, in this body, in these times, at this age. So put yourself first and heal.

Happy Tuesday!

I am excited just typing those words because 1) I am meeting my self imposed deadline and 2) I am excited about today’s message.

Every time I miss a week, I usually run into someone who randomly brings up my blog. At first I thought it was just God showing me that people do read my blogs but it happened the past two weeks and I was like, maybe that’s God nudging me to sit down and type my blog post. Thank you to everyone who reads my posts and everyone who has subscribed. I am grateful for all of you. Usually when I am not posting, it is because things are a bit difficult but the past two weeks have been good. I did change my schedule a bit so my usual “Dominique- mom- entrepreneur” balance was a bit off. I also decided to take on some more opportunities. There is no science or formula to balance everything. I read once to think of the things we are juggling as balls and determining for ourselves which balls are rubber and which are glass. Some are obvious glass balls and you do not let those drop because they can shatter. Rubber balls can always be picked back up. I dropped a few rubber balls which is not a bad thing. My issue was leaving them on the ground too long.

I was also hesitant to write because there is a new opportunity that I have been excited about. I knew it would be a challenge and did not want to share too much too soon. For the purpose of this story, I will say everything was falling into place perfectly. Now this particular opportunity is also a test of my faith. Anyway, I was over here excited and finally told someone about it last night. Today I had a call and all was well. Then I received an email that knocked the wind out of my sails. My initial reaction was that all was lost. After some deep breaths and a message to the same friend I spoke to last night, I realized God wouldn’t give me this opportunity just to take it away from me. I took a moment and prayed and then that same friend called me and prayed with me. And maybe even more than the prayer she prayed, was her being there and helping me fix my heart’s posture. As I hung up from the call, I received another email. That situation that I thought was hopeless wasn’t so hopeless after all. I’m leaving all of the juicy details for my future blog post with the full testimony.

I have already spoken about making sure you have the right people in your corner. The people who are truly for you will always push you to be a better version of yourself. They will do it lovingly though amd they will be there for the journey. I also want to talk about emotions and our heart’s posture. Our emotions are real but they can be misleading. Today I felt disappointed and sad and I could have wallowed in those feelings. Granted someone was being positive and I was just like “blah” but I realized that I was choosing to be negative. Sometimes we question others’ trust in God because our faith is wavering. Instead of widening the gap, we should pause and check ourselves and see if we are trusting and believing God or trying to handle everything on our own. I am also grateful that I have been surrounded by persons of great faith. The kind of friends who would climb a roof and lower me down to God.

A dream deferred is not a dream denied. Sometimes the storms come to strengthen us. Sometimes we exaggerate a shower of rain to be a storm as well. This week, renew your trust in God. He is still a way maker, miracle worker and promise keeper. He can do above and beyond what we could imagine. If He has brought you to it, He will lead you through it. Also check your heart’s posture. At times, we need to remind our hearts of what we know to be true. Bless your friends. Just because. Pray for them because you never know when they will be the pillars you lean on. Have a blessed week all and speak to you on Tuesday!

Happy Thursday! (Truth be told, this had to be uploaded yesterday but I forgot to post but yay me for writing it earlier this week. Let me have my small win lol)

Hope you are having an amazing week thus far. I hope this week you plant some seeds and lots of them. I am not talking about actual seeds. Plant seeds of kindness and love. Do something kind for someone from the goodness of your heart.  Help others when you can. A lot of times we think we have nothing to offer because we aren’t where we want to be in our own lives, but sometimes simply being a step ahead is enough to be able to help someone. 

So plant seeds. Lots of them. You never know which one will bear fruit. And most farmers will tell you to plant more than you need because you lose some to the elements, some never shoot and others get damaged or die despite your best efforts. The past few days were an eye opener for me and highlighted to me how we never know when the seed we planted will bear fruit. I planted seeds over ten years ago while I was in college. And I planted them with no selfish intentions. I genuinely wanted to be there for the person. I never even considered it “help”. Yet at a moment where I needed to be uplifted, the person stepped up. Despite my protests, that person poured into me. 

As a giver, I pour and pour into others but to be poured into is always humbling. It has been hard for me to accept the help but I have been blessed with amazing people who have poured into me and allowed me to pour into them. You cannot pour from an empty cup and I believe when you feel yourself getting low, you need to turn to God but keep your eyes open for the ones He sends to help you. This makes me pay more attention to whom God sends for me to bless. When we do good, good doesn’t necessarily come back to us from the source we think it will but it always come back. Your actions are never in vain. 

Remember that seeds all shoot at different times. But no matter how long it takes for them to break ground, their purpose is to bear fruit. Be grateful for the blessings and be thankful when you are the blessing. If you are like me and have a hard time allowing people to be there for you, take this advice I received from Castel: Do not block your blessings and do not stop others from being a blessing. 

Imagine an artist working hard on a painting to gift to a friend and that friend then says they don’t want it.  That is crushing. I have learned that some people look forward to the moment that they are able to do something nice for someone who helped them or treated them nice. It’s selfish to rob them of the opportunity to be nice in return. 

So this week, plant seeds. Be kind to everyone because this year has been tough. Look around and be mindful of those willing to pour into you. If you feel their intentions are genuine then allow them to pour. Sometimes we burn ourselves out trying to do everything ourselves when there are people around who are willing to be there for us if we allowed them. Don’t block your own blessings! I know it’s tough but take it one blessing at a time. Hope you have an amazing week! 

Happy Thursday! Holding myself accountable by writing and posting this blog. I didn’t forget to post on Tuesday. I have been having a tough week and decided to consider me first but today I felt like I should check in because we sometimes convince ourselves that we are alone when we aren’t. If you are having a tough time, I hope this helps.

I am a firm believer of everything happens for a reason. We may not understand why but over time, things are revealed. It is just hard waiting. I also believe that God is working it out for our good. We just need to remain obedient and disciplined. Audra, one of my sisters in faith, mentioned once that when we are going through difficult times, we should remain silent before calling out to God. Because in our anger, we may say something we wished we had not. So I am not going to share what I am going through now and come across negative or defeated but I will trust and wait on the Lord.

I have taken some breaks from social media because social media platforms are used as highlight reels. when you see others succeeding, it may make you question your progress. I am happy for others but I don’t want to be distracted. I read somewhere that you self- sabotage opposite to your love language. For example, if quality time is your love language, when you self- sabotage, you isolate yourself. I have been telling myself not to isolate and I actually opened up. It was an uncomfortable experience but all new things can be at for at. God has been moving in my life since the beginning of the year and although I am not sure where this journey will take me, I have faith in the One who is steering.

I will be taking some time to review and plan for this next season. The right friends are necessary and I am grateful for those who listen to me and step up when needed. You are not alone and you can get through this. Pray, Plan and Believe.