Set your goals & don’t cheat!

Are these your goals this year?

Hope everyone had a happy Tuesday!

I really wanted to stick to my habit of posting earlier in the day but I also didn’t want to rush content so here we are.

Do you know what your vision is for this year? We are now officially in February, and although January seems to drag, the rest of the year speeds by. I took some time last month to kind of map out my goals and vision for the year. I really plan on being intentional and saying yes only to things that make me happy or get me closer to my goals. In order for me to do that, I need to know what my goals are. I wrote them down in my planner so I can look at them and be reminded of the plan. So now it’s on me to be disciplined and follow the guidelines I set for myself.

Knowing why I am doing something helps me accomplish it faster. One of my goals is to cook more at home and not eat junk food as much. The end of last year got really busy and I slipped into the habit of eating on the road. I know I want to cook more at home because I want to be healthier and therefore my body needs proper nutrition. Thinking of it as supplying my body with the fuel it needs, makes it much easier for me to cook because I feel like I am doing something good for my body, instead of just seeing it as I am not allowed to have something (junk food in this case). In life, there are some rules and boundaries in place that are there to make life easier. For every choice, there is a consequence. You shouldn’t smoke because it isn’t good for you. But we know that there are still people who smoke. Since they didn’t adhere to the rule, they are now at a higher risk of having serious health complications. We know not to touch a hot stove because we will get burned. That doesn’t stop people from touching hot things but they are then prone to the consequences of ignoring the rule.

Honestly, even with my plan, I felt like I was not doing enough and it was only after saying it out loud during a coaching session, that I really admitted to myself that I was playing safe. Running your own business can be daunting. Like it is definitely amazing to be your own boss and see an idea come to life but the details of bringing that idea to life can be overwhelming. It feels easier to just wade in the shallow end rather than jumping in. But what do we really get from that? Growth isn’t found in our comfort zones. It is important to challenge yourself and keep raising the bar because that’s the only way you and ultimately, your business, will grow. It is trying and failing and then trying again (and again) and finally succeeding that makes the difference. You may or may not accomplish your goal on the first try, but if you don’t try, then how will you ever know?

One of my goals this year is to stop shrinking and stand in my awesomeness. There will be a lot of times when I will probably feel uncomfortable and nervous but unless I show up, how will I really know what can be? I have been feeling unmotivated because I haven’t been challenging myself. I know that I don’t like doing routine work so why would I accept doing routine work in my business? I manifested a pretty cool opportunity for my macrame business in October/ November last year. It is an 8×8 foot curtain. I was so excited and got halfway through in no time then took a break due to the holidays. After the New Year, I was dragging my feet to begin again. Then I realized that this was something I prayed for. How selfish of me to look down on the opportunity. I also knew I could do it because I had already completed half so part of the challenge was done. I had to re- challenge myself and now it will be completed by this weekend. It is important for me to spice things up and keep them interesting. Let’s not talk about what I want to do with Tropsical just yet! Just know that those Tropsical pops will be everywhere.

In life, there are things we know we should do to achieve the goals we want. The difficulty is in overcoming our blocks to do them. A crazy comparison came to me earlier. When we go to the gym, we may hire a trainer to help us reach our fitness goals. The trainer will suggest workouts and possibly even advise on nutrition. But we are the ones who have to do the work. If we try to “cheat”, we are not hurting the trainer, we are hurting our own selves. We prolong our journey and the finish line keeps moving. God is like a trainer, He can and will provide guidelines but if we don’t follow His will for us, we are only hurting ourselves. We all need some help achieving our goals.

Cassandra Fleming (FB) started career coaching last year and can help you reach your goals.

Zoya Hyman and Tasheena Maccow Thomas are both wonderful ladies who can assist you to navigate your thoughts and process your feelings.

Claire is hosting a virtual vision board workshop so sign up and complete that vision for 2021.

Just Creative SXM is an amazing event planning company who can turn your dreams to reality.

Floriane Javois is an inspiring makeup artist and is hosting her first workshop in April. Check out “The beauty life by Flo”.

Cameron Cam Era Hyman is a talented creative who launched his “yuh mom” vlog and has started his Black History Month project so be sure to stay up to date.

Namaste Cuisine and Entertainment is a catering company that will have your mouth watering.

Let me stop here for now before this list becomes too long. Whatever your goals are, there are people who can assist you and inspire you. Write those goals down, create the vision and be intentional. Remember, you got this!

Also if there are typos, my screen is cracked (again). My mom is definitely going to hang me. Someone help me to remember to put on my screen protector next time! Thanks in advance

Reflections for re-direction

Last Sunset of 2020

It’s 2021!! Thank God! I know a lot of us were sick of 2020. The new year has brought some changes and a new direction for me, but let me rewind to 2020 first to bring you up to speed.

I decided I would celebrate my birthday in March and began making plans. Friday night was Girls Night Out and Saturday night was a lovely dinner with some special people. Honestly I was feeling like I overdid it Friday night but then lockdown happened and I was happy that I got to party and spend so much time with my friends. My birthday weekend confirmed that “partying” is no longer for me and I am O.K with that. After the hurricane and the birth of my son, I really didn’t go out much (at all) and I kind of felt like I was missing out but that weekend confirmed that I wasn’t.

Tropsical. Oh Tropsical. I love the pops and pouches with a passion. Officially accepting the title of entrepreneur and living that life is teaching me a lot about myself and life in general. It’s only been about 6 months and I am excited about how the brand will grow. There is a lot that happens behind the scenes to make things happen. Being responsible for every single detail can be terrifying but also rewarding. So salute to all entrepreneurs out there. One piece of advice I will give is: just start. You may not feel ready but in some ways you are never truly ready. The journey helps prepare you.

The final quarter of the year was a test! I really started getting serious about my personal growth about halfway through the year but those last three months almost took me out. The struggle was real trying to juggle my personal life as a single mom with the professional side. Between milestone celebrations and orders, I felt like I barely had time for myself. (That’s because I didn’t). I work hard but I tend to neglect myself. For example, I will work 8-10 hours and “forget” to eat. Also I underestimated Tropsical. Thanks to everyone who purchased from me. Y’all are the best!

December 2020 showed me who I was. Some things I am proud of, like how much of a bad ass I am. Yes I will toot my own horn because I usually don’t. But y’all have no idea how many late nights and early mornings I had. ( Unless you are an entrepreneur yourself and I salute you)

But it also highlighted my weaknesses and some things I thought I had dealt with. There was a period of my life where I really didn’t like who I was and I had to get serious. A lot of soul searching and work led me to Empower ( an empowerment conference held a few years ago) and a person I was happy with. A recovering alcoholic may think they are doing good because they haven’t had alcohol but they also avoided being in the same room with a bottle. The true test comes when you can sit in the room with the bottle and not feel the urge to drink. I feel like similarly we avoid situations that we know will bring out the worse but we should also be able to handle ourselves in those situations as well.

Tired and cranky is not a good look on me. Neglecting myself can lead to resentments and that’s not what I want for myself. In 2020 I did the hard work of naming my habits and weaknesses so I know what needs to be healed. The amazing thing is we all know the answers to our own questions. We know what we need to do in order to heal. The difficulty is in doing the work. Every day you have to wake up and be intentional, obedient and disciplined. Create a routine that you feel comfortable with and go for it. There are always exceptions to a rule but those exceptions should never become the rule.

2021 I just want to be and feel better. I believe in Tropsical and in order for me to give my best to the brand, I need to be at my best. January has barely even started and I already “messed up” but I am not letting one mistake affect the rest of my year negatively. The reason I know I messed up is because I took the time to write down the things that I want and don’t want in my life. But we are also human. I mentioned in one of the previous blogs not to let an error be your setback.

Write down your monthly goals and then break them down into weekly goals. Then show up every day and do your best. Don’t beat yourself up when something doesn’t go as planned. Use it as a learning experience. Ask yourself why you slipped up and be honest with the answer so you can fix it next time. Life will continue to send you “tests” for you to improve.

Some things I want to mention:

• My awesome, creative friend has started a video blog on his Facebook providing moments of maturity every Monday! The first episode is already out so be sure to check it out! FB: Cameron “Cam Era” Hyman | IG: @itscameronhyman

• A vision board has helped me over the years and this year I am probably going to join Claire’s event which will be held later this month. She also has packages available if you prefer to work on one by yourself in the comfort of your home. Twitter: @E_Claire7

If you aren’t already, please follow me on IG @motherlovingdiva

Time for some deep cleaning…

It’s another week so that means another blog! It’s funny because I didn’t think anyone was keeping track but two persons reached out to me last week about the blog. So I took that as a sign to stay focused and committed.

I have a few thoughts running through my mind.

The holidays are quickly approaching and of course things are getting hectic. This is also the time of year that most people do some deep cleaning and rearrange their homes. My mother is a neat freak and is super organized. There is a place for everything and everything should be in its place. A few months ago a friend of mine (hey Cass!) shared a book with me by Marie Kondo. “Spark Joy” is about the art of organizing and tidying up and of course she discusses the KonMari method. I feel like my mother may be the Caribbean version of Marie Kondo. A lot of the advice in the book I had already heard from my mother, so it was pretty straight forward. But one of the things Marie Kondo mentioned is that the things in your house should bring you joy. If you pick up something and you don’t feel joy ( unless it’s a functional object), you should either discard it or give it away. I was then listening to a podcast and they mentioned Marie Kondo as well and linked it to life in general. I do feel it’s important to reduce the clutters in our homes and give it a good overhaul a couple times a year. It has been a really different year to say the least. I think taking some time to take stock of the things in our home and really determining whether they bring us joy is necessary this year. We have spent more time at home and for some that was a blessing and for others it was a curse. The same way we choose to surround ourselves with certain people and energies, we should maintain the same at home. For me, my home is supposed to be my safe haven. The place I can unwind after a long day. With a toddler, the mess can add up quickly so I have made simple adjustments to allow me to tidy up quickly, so I can spend more time with the kids or simply have a moment to myself.

But the same is also true for us. We need to kind of assess ourselves and clear our minds as we prepare to bring in the new year. The holidays will go by in a blur and the new year will be upon us in no time. We can start asking ourselves some important questions like, despite the pandemic, what has brought us joy this year? What habits do we need to adjust? What is working for us and what isn’t working? What are some goals we want to accomplish? We should be actively creating the lives we want to live. We have to hold ourselves accountable before we fall into stagnant modes and do things just because. How are we organizing our lives? Are we taking care of ourselves physically and mentally? Where do our priorities lie? We don’t have to wait until January 1st to make changes. We can start releasing bad habits and healing wounds right now. Have we spent enough time with our loved ones and with ourselves? Let’s finish the year strong and accomplish a few more goals before December 31st.

It’s funny how it can be so tough to obey God even when we hear his voice clearly. I have been hesitant about blogging and really wondering if I should continue. Fourteen consecutive weeks is a lot and I was proud of my accomplishment. Then my schedule got hectic and I was not able to post and since then I feel like it is sporadic. A few people approached me and encouraged me to continue but I have still been questioning myself. I am an imperfect human being and I try to share what is on my mind. I know a lot of times I hold myself to a higher standard than I would hold anyone else and I am learning to offer myself the same grace I offer others. Our schedules change and things happen but we need to appreciate it and learn from each season we are in. Beating myself up because I missed a week was only delaying my next blog. If we wallow in our own self pity then we won’t make the necessary moves. There are things in life that will require us to take the time necessary to overcome them and we may even need help but for minor setbacks we should remain focused on the goal and get back up and get at it. There is still so much that can be accomplished this year if we look forward and not complain about what we didn’t get done.

It is always the right time to take stock of your life and make the changes you need to live the life of your dreams. Every journey begins with the first step. Envision the life you want, be honest about what needs to be done and then tackle those goals one by one. Start saving or pay off your debt. Enroll in that course. Check off some of the things that have been on your to do list for years now. Ask yourself what brings you joy and start incorporating more of those things into your life. The only thing holding you back is you. I am late with my blog but I have a blog this week and I am going to ensure that I am not late next week. The next couple of weeks I will be clearing things from my life as I prepare for everything I want. Join me. And remember, you got this!

P.S. sorry if my posts are a bit shorter! Need to repair my laptop…

It is never too late to start something new

It feels like it has been forever since I shared my thoughts. Life got a bit hectic and I was focused on being present in the moments. My daughter was able to receive the sacrament of Holy Communion two weeks ago and last weekend was stock full of celebrations. My goddaughter turned one and had a cute flamingo and pineapple themed birthday party. I attended a baby shower and a very close friend’s daughter (my second daughter) also received the sacrament of Holy Communion.

Holy Communion usually takes place in May but due to COVID-19, things were postponed. I actually didn’t expect them to be able to receive the sacrament this year. In September we received notification that they would proceed but in keeping with social distancing and other COVID-19 preventative measures. Luckily her dress was already bought since March. Before you receive the sacrament of Holy Communion, you have the act of Reconciliation, which is confession. The girls were excited for their Communion but slightly nervous of about confession. I feel like we all feel a bit nervous when it’s time to confess our own sins. Although God is a forgiving God, knowing we did something that would not please Him, makes us a little anxious.

I feel like my weekends were fresh starts. Confessing your sins and asking for forgiveness. The pending birth of a healthy baby, and the celebration of life. The girls started a new chapter in their religious lives and I pray that they will continue to nurture and grow their relationship with God. My goddaughter is one and she has so much life to live. She is going to learn so much within the next year. The beautiful thing is that everyone was surrounded by love those weekends.

Don’t be afraid to take the next step and do something different. No matter what age we are or where we are, we can always start a new chapter in our lives. Surround yourself with the right people and go for it! I feel like we are always molding our futures. I mentioned in two interviews that when I started Tropsical, a lot of the things I needed, I had actually purchased two years prior. For two years they were reminders of something that was on hold but when it was GO time, they were already there. The relationships that have helped grow my business were relationships I nurtured before the idea of the business.

We try to rush things and we want to be successful overnight but that isn’t the way. Most people will tell you it takes some time. What you see as overnight success is usually the build up of multiple years of hard work. If you have a dream but you’re worried that you don’t have the finances, please just write your dream down. Write it down and then break it down into baby steps. Be very detailed about all that you think you will need. Then start working on ticking those things off. You may skip some “easy” ones but over time you will realize you are acquiring the things you need.

Also, find a small group of people who truly support you and share some of your ideas with them. They may have creative ways to overcome some of the hurdles. They may even inspire you to change things up a bit but they will also offer support when you are feeling down. Your support group may also make necessary connections that you need to move forward. They are an extension of your network. Networking really gets the ball rolling. Don’t always be afraid to share your challenges, because someone in your circle may just have the solution for you.

This week take some time to write down your goals and your plans, visualize them and start laying the foundation. Don’t be afraid to start a new chapter in your life. It may be the best one yet! Remember, you got this!

The rainbow always comes after the rain. Some times you just have to look a little harder!

August Review

Happy Saturday!

As crazy as this year has been, we are in August. How are you doing? How are you feeling?

I have had some ups and downs but I am grateful because the average of my ups and downs keep me somewhere in the middle. This year, I was very intentional about making a vision board and even hosted a mini vision board get together. I usually glance at it daily, to kind of remind me what to focus on. Earlier this week, I really looked at it and realized the majority of what I had on my board was taking shape. Obviously, my travel plans are on a standstill. 

I love to plan. I really do! I am that friend who plans out the entire trip. I started using a planner about five years ago and I started with a BUJO (bullet journal) and essentially it was filled with lists and my to-dos. Then I switched to a planner, but could never find one that was quite right for me. With the birth of my son, I switched to a life planner because I felt it gave me enough space while being functional. The downside was the size of the planner, but it has not actually been a problem in my day-to-day. I also have a list of goals for the year in my planner. 

Earlier this week, I took some time to review my vision board and my goals. I was amazed at how much I could check off. I was then motivated to make some new goals. I think it’s important to take some time and daydream about your ideal life. What do you want? What are you doing? Most importantly, how do you want to feel? Once you’ve finished dreaming (and writing it down), start breaking goals down into bite-size pieces. For example, on my vision board I had my macramé. I want the business to be successful. However, wanting it to be successful and actually taking the steps to make it successful are two different things. A breakdown could be as follows: 1. Make macramé plant hangers 2. Advertise/ make known that they were available 3. Be consistent and so forth. 

I believe writing down your goals and then breaking it down into steps makes it easier to visualize and ultimately achieve. I am a visual person, so when I see it on paper I remember it easier. It also helps me make decisions that will contribute to my goals. Do I want to spend money on a nice dinner or reinvest it into the business? That is not to say, don’t treat yourself to dinner but there will be times when a bit of sacrifice is required. Despite how things have been, I have seen a lot of people say that they have been able to check things off their lists.

We are all in different mental spaces right now and if you are going through a tough time, it may be difficult to focus on goals and vision boards. Take the time necessary and seek assistance if needed. You could also start the process and let it motivate you. At one point in college, I literally had “get out of bed” on my to-do list. There is always something to look forward to and it is important to keep that in mind. Even when everything is planned out, you may still find yourself in a funk.  For me, it happens when I feel like things are not progressing as fast as I would like. I usually force myself to review all that was accomplished. 

I want to go back to the garden because it has been a while since I compared gardening to life. With the right care, a tree will grow from a seed. We may start small but with the right care, our dreams can grow into a resilient flamboyant. It takes time for things to grow. Sometimes I plant a seed and it takes so long that I forget what I planted. (I forget what I plant rather quickly but some seeds do take a longer time to shoot). Ultimately, it does not matter how long it took. You have a plant and eventually it will yield fruits or flowers. Stop worrying about how long your journey is taking. It is all part of the process. I spend a lot of time weeding. Your mind is a garden and negative thoughts are weeds. When they pop up, pluck them out. They do not help you.

Take some time this week to review your goals if you already had some written down or sit down and get to writing. Really let yourself dream. No one can hear your thoughts and you deserve to want the best for yourself. You hold your future in your hands. And remember, you got this!

P.S There is a freebie below!

Daily Planner. If you love it, please let me know