It’s late and I should be in la la land right now because I have an early morning tomorrow. I have been trying to go to bed early so I can wake up without hitting the snooze button fifty times. But if I was asleep, I would have missed the email from Alex Elle which has inspired my blog this week. Her email started in a similar fashion so there must be something about late night thoughts. This week I have been pretty tough on myself. I feel like an imposter, writing about sacrifice and self discipline while I am here struggling to find a balance.Truth be told, I write for me, as reminders to myself.
The funny thing is amidst all of my thoughts, I have been proud of myself for my growth. I feel like I have grown so much this year and I know some of it is due to finally slowing down due to COVID and some of it is the harvest I am reaping from things sown years ago. I am proud of my growth but still beating myself up for things I am learning now. Then Alex Elle sends out an email about growth and my mouth drops. She ends the email with “Growth makes room for patience as you push through.” Read that again. And again. Got it? Awesome!
Sacrifice and self discipline are very necessary qualities for success but patience is also very important. Society demands quick turnovers but our lives are not some fast food restaurants. It takes time to grow. There will be lessons we have to learn again. Healing takes time. Cuts and bruises don’t disappear overnight. If you are rushing the process then chances are you aren’t learning everything you can and you aren’t becoming everything you can be. Waiting isn’t always fun. It can be nerve wracking. If you are a Christian, then you should find comfort in knowing He is in control and He works all things together for our good. For others, it may be your strong belief in self. Knowing you can get through whatever is in front of you. Doubt doesn’t creep in immediately. Doubt slowly and quietly creeps in with the passing minutes. The longer we feel something is taking to happen, the more anxious we get. Some days I feel like I have no patience whatsoever. Since I started gardening I feel like I may have earned an ounce of patience.
I think we get impatient because that’s the part where we are not in control. You know I like garden references, so hear me out. Today I decide I am going to plant. I pick which seeds I want to plant, I make sure I have space to plant, and I make sure I have dirt, gardening tools, etc. I plant the seed in the ground and now I have to wait. The package may provide me with info about how long it will take to germinate. For our example, we’ll say five days. So in five days I expect to see something peeping out of the dirt. Day 1,2,3, and 4, I am fine. Before I go to bed on day 4, I am excited because tomorrow I get to see something. But then I wake up on day 5, run to the garden and nothing! No green amidst the dirt. Did I do everything right? Are the seeds good? Too much water, too little water? I am disappointed. I don’t give up though. I keep watering and lo and behold, on the seventh day I see some green! Maybe I planted the seeds a little deeper than I should so it took longer because it had more dirt to push through. Now that there is visible growth, I am no longer impatient. My impatience didn’t make it grow any faster. The delay did not affect the plant negatively. The plant is still a plant and growing as it should. My impatience only drove me crazy.
We are all seeds. Everything we need is within us. During certain seasons our growth may appear slower or even be unnoticeable but every season is making us stronger. Just because we may not notice the changes, that does not mean change isn’t happening. I have planted seeds at the same time and have them shoot at different times. But ultimately they are the same. The seed that burst the ground first is not more or different than the seed that took a bit longer. If it’s a fruit tree, both will bear the same fruit. Being late does not alter the fruit. Trees don’t care what the other is doing. They are blissfully unaware and just focused on its own growth. In fact when a tree or plant blocks another from the sunlight, the one lacking sunlight finds away around.
You are meant to bear fruit. Don’t worry about the other trees in the area. Just enjoy the sunlight and simply be. You got this!