It’s amazing how you can plant a seed and not only have a plant but eventually fruits. I know I wrote a blog about bearing fruits already so I won’t focus too much on that. A plant was my inspiration for today’s blog so hence all the plant talk. I think plants have life figured out. Plants simply are. Their only focus is to do what they are supposed to do. Plants produce the basic food for all living organisms and they make oxygen. But they do all of this without a thought or worry. I feel like there is such a natural and easy going flow in nature and animals.
And I know you’re reading this and wondering where I am going with this. Humans are more evolved than animals. As we evolved, it seems we complicated things. Our freedom of choice has made life complicated. Each group thinks their choice is best. We worry about what to consume and how to act. And the possible outcomes are endless. What happened to simplicity? At our cores, who are we? I like to believe that we are beings of love because God is love and we are of God.
Our innate choices should reflect love.
Even if you are unsure of your purpose in life, you should still have an understanding of who you are and what you do. The plant that inspired me was a desert rose. Two lanky stems, maybe ten leaves but the stem was bending from the weight of three flowers. Honestly, if there were no flowers, I would have assumed it was dead. It was just an odd image. Despite looking like it was dead, with no bounty of leaves, the plant was able to fulfill its purpose and bear flowers. Sometimes we think we are bare and have nothing to offer God. But He can perform miracles. All we need is a willing heart. If you feel like you have nothing left to offer Him, offer your heart.
No matter where you find yourself right now, you can make your life better. In a song by Koryn Hawthorne, she sings that there is no place where mercy and grace can’t find her. And it’s so true. No matter what negative thing we label ourselves, God doesn’t see us that way. He extends His mercy and grace always. So today, stop beating yourself up for past mistakes. Know that you can be used for good right where you are and start working towards making better choices. Wake up every day with the intention to do/ be better than you were yesterday. It doesn’t take big moments, it takes a series of small moments to become who you were meant to be. You got this!
Some years back, I hosted an event called Empower. And you guessed it, it was about empowerment, for both men and women. I was originally going to fly people in but then I realized we had a lot of locals who overcame their own obstacles and that was empowering. To see others who faced similar struggles from your island overcome them. I did fly one person in and I do believe all of the speakers were great. The thing about Empower was I had this big vision in my head and it took a lot of work. Unfortunately I ended up in debt because of it, but I did learn a lot.
Let me tell you, that event tested my faith. If it wasn’t for God, that event would not have happened. It was a lot of back and forth with sponsors and while I was getting ready for the opening event, I got a call from the hotel saying the payment wasn’t received as yet so they were going to be cancel. Chiiiiiiiiile! I prayed so hard and thankfully He came through.
I beat myself up about Empower for a few reasons. One, I think it’s an amazing concept and I really want to do another event like that but I am afraid. Financially it’s a big investment. Secondly, it didn’t have the amount of attendees as I would have liked so I see it as a failure. I just know that gems were dropped that could have helped so many but those in attendance definitely got their fill. And then, I feel like I took a few steps back in my own personal journey. Everything we need is already within us. Majority of the time, we already know what we need to do. After the event, because I was so focused on what went wrong, I allowed myself to go into a funk, and neglecting the lessons I learned.
After my son’s birth, I had to look within myself and be intentional about my life and how I wanted to move forward. The wonderful thing was that I was no longer starting “fresh” but I had a foundation of experience and knowledge. I knew what needed to be done, I just needed to do it. Life requires a certain level of intention. If not, we are kind of just going with the flow and not really in control of our destinies. I like order so routines are very handy for me. I make schedules and plan my days to maximize the time that I have. Ultimately God is in control of my day but it is my responsibility to show up fully and give my best. That means not adding too much on my plate or engaging in things that drain my energy. Distractions are going to come, but if you know what you set out to do, you will remain focused and see the distraction for what it is.
Self development is not a linear journey. In college I was depressed but didn’t know how to express that I was in a depression. I did things I should not have done and hurt people I didn’t intend to hurt. Getting pregnant with my daughter was my wake up call and I decided I wanted better. Even though I was doing better in a lot of areas of my life, I was still very negative which caused me to grow apart from some close friends. In some ways that pushed me to dig even deeper. My faith in God began to grow around the same. I always believed in God but I was seeing and experiencing things that could not be explained. So yes I was growing and loving life and then after Empower, I feel like things took a downward turn.
The changes never happen drastically. It’s usually small adjustments here and there and suddenly you find yourself where you don’t want to be. And then the cycle starts again to get back to where you want to be. But each time you learn a little more about yourself and your strengths. That’s why being intentional is so important. When you get caught up in the cycle and you aren’t actively doing anything to change it, you will keep going around and around in the same circle. You have to get honest with yourself and ask yourself where you want to be and if your current actions will get you there. If not, make a change.
Being intentional is waking up every day and knowing you have to make choices that will lead you to the best version of yourself. Yes, there will be times when a choice doesn’t produce the results you expected but instead of beating yourself up, learn from it and make a better choice the next time. The goal is to do better than you did the day before and be kind to yourself when you have a rough one.
Happy Tuesday! I usually look forward to Tuesdays because I get to connect with you all but today is extra special because it’s the day before my son’s birthday! The moms reading this know the emotional rollercoaster I will be on tonight looking back at baby pictures. I really don’t know why we do it to ourselves.
I have learnt so much about myself since my son’s birth. The breakup with his dad was bad although the relationship was fine prior to that. Navigating a breakup with an infant is a challenge that I don’t ever want to repeat. I am still grateful because that allowed something within me to break and cleared my vision. Since then I have gone down the rabbit hole of self development and self love.
A part of self love is setting boundaries that let people know which behaviors you will accept and which you will not. We all have different experiences that helped shaped us into who we are and even if two people went through the same thing, their personal interpretations of those experiences would be different. So boundaries are kind of ground rules for you to interact with others. Recently, I had a disagreement with a friend and I believe I had to establish a boundary. They felt the need to establish a boundary as well. We are both looking at the situation with our respective lenses on and we are both justified in our opinions of the matter. It doesn’t mean either one of us is wrong. Eventually we will come to a place where we can set that aside but until then we both have to do what we consider is right for our respective journeys.
As you grow, there will be times when you grow apart from people. And there will be times when you aren’t the right fit for someone’s journey either. Instead of worrying about what the other person thinks or what you could have done, it’s important to focus on your growth. How do you improve yourself? How do you become a better version of yourself? Everything happens for a reason and those who are meant to be in your life will be in your life. Another good friend of mine and I drifted apart years ago and this was someone I thought would be in my life forever. Last year we were able to have an honest conversation and clear some things and now we are good again. You have to trust the journey that you are on and that God will give you the people, things and wisdom you need to get through whatever you are facing.
This past weekend I made a commitment concerning my spiritual journey which I will tell you about in the coming weeks. Right now, I am not sure what my next step is but I know that God is guiding me and that is sufficient for me. I don’t know if it’s a gift or a curse but I tend to see the greatness in others even when I don’t always see it in myself. But other people’s journeys are not my business. Yes I can and will encourage them and speak to the greatness within them but I can’t make it my responsibility to ensure that they are doing what they need to do. All I can do is ensure that I am doing what I need to do and hopefully they will see that and be inspired to the same. I am releasing myself from feeling personally responsible for others’ journeys. We are here to motivate, encourage and inspire but never to dictate others.
I am going to wrap it up here because I think (I hope) you got the gist of what I am saying. Plus I have to go prepare for my son’s birthday celebration in school tomorrow. So have an amazing week and remember, as always, you got this!
Happy Wednesday! I got home late last night and was trying to edit so I could post but my eyes kept shutting down on me. It was a tiring day. I didn’t do much physically but mentally, it felt like I ran a marathon. My mind and body needed a break so I listened.
I had a lot of thoughts coming at me and it was overwhelming for a bit. Sometimes it is good to have someone to listen to you because they can point out things you may have missed or show you where you might be limiting yourself. We create these false realities in our heads based on a wide range of beliefs, most of them learned as a child. If we keep our thoughts in our minds, they might get jumbled and make it hard to grasp. Being able to speak to someone allows us to make sense of it and put those thoughts into perspective.
A lot of times when we tell ourselves we cannot do something, it isn’t because we aren’t capable, it’s simply fear talking. We may be afraid to take that next step. We may be afraid of rejection, hurt, dismissal or feeling inadequate. We tell ourselves we can’t do this because of that and we can’t do that because of this but we don’t speak the truth. The funny thing is “if you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”. When you tell yourself you are not capable of doing something, you are sending signals to your mind that limit your abilities. It’s like shutting the power off. Whereas when you tell yourself that you are capable, your mind starts working to ensure you accomplish whatever it is. You may not get it on the first try, but your mind will get more creative in order to accomplish the goal.
Sometimes we have limiting beliefs that we allowed others to place on us. Family, friends, teachers, or even strangers may have told us something that they believed about us and we believed them and adopted that thought. The higher we regard that person, the quicker we are to believe what they said. And I don’t believe they had malicious intentions when they said whatever they said. They may have been trying to help you and worded it wrong. The fact remains that these thoughts float around in our heads rent free and can cause self doubt.
It is important to identify your limiting beliefs and it can be hard to do so alone. It is absolutely OK to seek a therapist and work through your limiting beliefs together. If you’re like me, you can also begin researching on your own and make a list of the limiting beliefs you think you have and that could be a starting point with your therapist. The goal of identifying your limiting beliefs is so you can work on eliminating them. There are times where it gets really tough. Working on yourself isn’t always the zen vibe we think of. That’s why I always suggest working with a professional. They can assist you and help you through the darkness.
This week pay attention to how you speak when you are faced with a challenge. Do you hear yourself saying “ I can’t” a lot? Or do you avoid doing new things? I am challenging you to try something new this week. You can be honest and ask for assistance but the point is to push past the discomfort and anxiety. Is there something you have been wanting to try but have been hesitant? It could be a new recipe, hairstyle (nothing drastic), or maybe you always wanted to go to salsa classes. Give it a try. If you go to the salsa class and you don’t like it, you don’t have to go back. But what if you do like it? That opens a world of possibility for you.
Life isn’t always a bed of roses. Especially when you’re trying to get your life in order and show up as your best self. You will get tested. Some heavy feelings can be triggered. And that’s fine. It’s ok to sit with your feelings and work through them. But what do you do when you feel overwhelmed by those feelings? How do you cope with heavy feelings and difficult choices?
Part of learning yourself is understanding firstly, what triggers you and secondly, how you cope with those feelings once they are there. It is important to know which words or actions trigger negative emotions in you. Once you identify the trigger, you will be able to identify the way you cope with those negative feelings. If not, you may not realize how one is affecting the other and therefore won’t be able to break the cycle. There are positive and negative coping mechanisms. Some people cope with issues by drinking and others by harming themselves. These are definitely negative coping mechanisms.
In the movie “For colored girls”, they also addressed promiscuity as a negative coping mechanism. The movie covers a lot of issues women face and is a must see.
Instead of those negative coping mechanisms that only make you forget the issues for a while but doesn’t resolve them, we should all incorporate more positive coping mechanisms. Learning to sit with the emotions and using the discomfort to help us grow as individuals. If you are like me, you don’t like to deal with feelings. I would probably “I don’t know” a therapist to death. (Just kidding)
But I have realized that understanding your emotions is much better than ignoring them. Just by acknowledging the feeling or feelings, it reduces the intensity of the feeling.
When I am going through a difficult situation or experiencing feelings I am unsure about, there are a few things that I do instead of running away. But before I got to that point, I had to figure out what makes me happy. I wrote a list of the things I like or make me happy. This doesn’t have to be difficult. On my list, I have a cup of coffee, a hot shower and a good book, amongst other things. You can also add more intricate answers, but don’t forget the simple things. This list will also help you to incorporate more self- care into your routine. Basically once you have your list, try to do 2 or 3 things every day.
Once you are aware of your coping mechanisms and also know some things you like, when you are triggered, you will be able to respond and not react to those negative emotions. If you can, remove yourself from the situation and take some time for yourself. The first thing I usually do to try to understand what’s happening and why I am feeling the way I am feeling is to journal. Write, write, write. Just get it out of your system. You can look for prompts online if you are unsure where to begin. The most important thing is being honest. No one else is going to read what you write so don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself. Writing allows you to clear your mind and can give you a better overview of what is happening.
Another great way to calm yourself and clear your mind is spending time in nature. If you can, go for a walk. The movement is good for your body and you get to change your scenery. For us living on an island, heading to a beach is also a great way to spend time outdoors. Chances are there will be something to remind you of the beauty of life during that time. Another quick mood booster is listening to music. Don’t get stuck on the sad songs too much but try to incorporate some feel good music. Play your favorites. Dance a little. Or a lot. Play songs that remind you of the good times. If a song is playing and it is making you feel down, change it! If music isn’t your thing, you can always watch your favorite movie.
Last but definitely not least, I pray about the situation. I pray to see the lesson I need to learn. I pray for guidance. I pray for wisdom. I pray for compassion. I pour it all out to God and trust that He will work things out for my good. And when I overreact or give in to the negative emotions, I pray for forgiveness. Having a relationship with God means being honest and reaching out even when I think I have messed up. His grace is sufficient for me.
Next time when someone triggers you and you feel overwhelmed, I pray you will do one or all of these things and feel a sense of calm. It’s not easy but you got this!
Hiking is a great way to unwind, especially with views like this
This month started heavy and maybe it’s because of the new moon over the weekend, but the heaviness seems to be rolling through the entire month. If you’re working on yourself, whether healing an inner child wound, releasing trauma or simply trying to be better, you know that it’s hard work. But as hard as it is, it’s important.
Facing yourself can be intimidating. Embracing the good and bad parts of yourself. That’s why people seek support and help from others, usually professionals. Having someone hold space for you allows you to work through the dark without feeling ashamed or judged. A professional can also assist you in understanding your triggers to avoid conflict. Of course, if there is a conflict, a neutral third party can assist both parties navigate through it to come to an agreement.
Most times, one or both parties, feel unheard. Sometimes we listen to respond and not to truly understand what the other person is trying to convey. The person may not even require that an action be taken but simply be acknowledged in order for the conflict to be resolved. The problem with misunderstandings is that both parties are operating from their perspective positions. If one of them isn’t willing to stand in the other’s shoes, then they will never understand each other.
Part of loving yourself, is trusting yourself. Trusting that gut instinct you get. It can be hard to trust yourself if you think you are always making mistakes. It could be that the voice in your head isn’t even your own voice. Who are you allowing to take up space in your head? Once you start to filter out the other voices, you will start to hear your own voice.
During conflict, there may be times when you downplay your feelings for the sake of appeasing the other person. Compromise is necessary and can be healthy to resolve conflict but like everything else in life, too much compromise can be a bad thing. Are you honoring your feelings or ignoring them just to ensure that the conflict is resolved? You don’t always have to put your feelings aside for others.
In the past, I dimmed my light for others. I felt like it was a necessary sacrifice to ensure that things remained good. Ultimately you just feel worse because usually the other person isn’t even aware of the sacrifice being made. Every time you express yourself/ speak up for yourself, you are telling yourself that you matter. Although there will still be times where the other person doesn’t fully grasp you, you will no longer internalize their inability to hear you.
If you are struggling or have struggled with showing up as your authentic self because you’ve been told you’re too much or made to felt like you didn’t matter, please send me a message or comment and let me know how you’re dealing with it. Remember, you’ve got this and you (and your feelings) matter. Have an amazing week and be kind to yourself!
Took some time for myself… a glass of wine by the pool is enough to make me happy
Thirty four. It has been a journey. I feel like the first seventeen years were 80% bliss and 20% pain. The last seventeen are a bit different. I can’t say that they were baaaaad so different will do.
I am definitely not the person I was for the first half of my life. I have matured and learnt so much. I have been affected by the hurt as much as the joy, sometimes even more. Hurt is inevitable in life but it’s how we deal with it that makes a difference. For the majority of my teenage years and early twenties, I held a lot of emotions in. I started speaking out more after a while and now I’m labeled emotional. Usually I cringe but honestly, I don’t mind being emotional. I am passionate about things like my family, my close friends, my business and more, so it’s only normal to feel things deeply. When I am disappointed or hurt, I feel that deeply too because I try my best not to hurt or disappoint others.
I have even gone as far as putting my needs and wants aside for others because I cared about their needs more. This is definitely not where it is at. Although you should try to help others when/ if you can, you shouldn’t put their well being before yours. That’s a sure way of being disappointed. Another side effect of people pleasing is not actually knowing what you like. Before the birth of my son, I had a pretty decent list of things I liked. But now with two kids, it’s harder to find time for myself and the things I like. Plus COVID altered the world as we know it.
One of the challenges I have had since last year was the establishment of boundaries. Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits. Certain boundaries are easy to maintain, but there are so many little things that affect those boundaries. You may think it’s not a big deal to make an exception but then you may realize that the other person has taken the exception to be the rule and you have to reinforce the boundary again. Boundaries are there to protect us. There may be times when you set a boundary and someone gets upset. That’s not your problem.
As a people pleaser, you may think it’s not a big deal. But every time you push a boundary back for someone else, you are telling yourself that you are not worthy. Little by little, your self- worth will diminish and ultimately lead to making wrong choices. One way to remember your worth is to set healthy boundaries AND enforce them. People make mistakes and it may be that the person didn’t intentionally mean to hurt you but you should not be afraid to cut that person off if they continue to disregard your boundaries. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself.
You set the standard for how others should treat you by how you treat and respect yourself. In life, there will be disagreements, some you will be able to resolve and others you won’t be able to. Ultimately every person has to remain true to themselves and their values. We can agree to disagree without it being an issue.
Be sure to take time to find yourself, understand who you are, what you like, dislike, what your triggers are and how to heal your trauma wounds. Make lists. Set boundaries. Honor yourself. And don’t be afraid to dig deep. Remember, you got this!
It’s the first Tuesday of March! The best month of the whole year! Yes, I am a March born, if you couldn’t tell. My birthday is actually Saturday and I am pretty excited, although on a surface level, I am pretty indifferent.
This past weekend was an emotional rollercoaster. There are a lot of factors that contributed to me being more emotional than usual. Three people called out one of my personality traits. One did so in a very negative, and deragatory manner. The other two were very compassionate about it. Of course in my mind, the negative one stands out more, but I am grateful for the other two because they keep me grounded. The thing is in life, there will always be people commenting about us and/ or our traits. It’s important to surround yourself with people who speak positively to you. That doesn’t mean they won’t call you out when needed but they will do so with love, not condemnation. It’s also important for you to know who you are so if someone says something and you know that isn’t you then you need to stand firm in your truth.
On the other hand, we should also be mindful of the way we speak to and about others. Are we simply complaining about them and looking for company? Or do we want to speak in a way that encourages them to do better? Compassion. When we view others’ differences with compassion then we can improve our interactions with them. It’s not always an easy task because we can be caught up in our own worlds and our own issues. Saying a kind word or doing a kind gesture for someone throughout the day may just be the boost they need. Some people go through their days only hearing negative things about themselves. You may be the light they need.
Also emotional because of my birthday. Looking back at the last year, I would have never believed I would be where I am today. There were a lot of changes that shocked me. I am grateful that I actually went all out for my birthday last year, enjoying the entire weekend, because that was just prior to lockdown and this year I won’t be able to celebrate in that manner. I also found myself with no other option than to step into the world of entrepreneurship completely. It has been a ride but I am happy to be here and I am learning as much about myself as I am about the business. I am still not where I want to be and financially it can be scary especially as a single mom. God has been guiding me along the way and I am trusting Him to continue to guide me. In every season, He has provided me with the right people and resources to move forward.
I have learnt a lot about myself and the journey hasn’t always been bubble baths and scented candles. Really getting to know yourself is more ugly crying and resisting the urge to run from yourself. I realize a lot of people don’t know what I have been through, so let me put it into context. Late 2018 I had a very bad breakup that had me out of character. 2019 was me dealing with a bunch of stress and losing a lot of weight. (Stress and breastfeeding are definitely not a good combo). 2020 started off well enough and then COVID and no work. I blamed myself for a lot of things and it was not an easy time, but something inside of me needed breaking and it broke.
My thirties started with a feeling of freedom and every year I feel I get closer. I am learning to trust myself more. Trusting that I know what I need and moving forward in faith in Him. I am learning to offer myself the same grace and compassion I freely offer others. I still make mistakes but every day is a new day to be the best version of me. I am excited about life. I have a good core group of friends who push me to do better and reach higher. I also want to challenge myself. There are a few things I want to do this year and I can’t wait to reveal them as the year goes on.
If you are going through a hard time, my advice is just keep moving. Even when you feel like you aren’t making progress, keep pushing. You’ll be able to look back and see the growth. Take it one day at a time and make the best decision in the moment and adjust from there. Have patience and compassion for yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day and you are constantly learning. Speak to yourself kindly. There are enough people who are willing to tear you down. Build yourself up. For me, my faith saved me and I am thankful to God for everything. Maybe you feel this pull on your life but you’re skeptical. There is a certain peace you get once you get to know God, and I mean really know Him.
And always remember, you got this!
Now have a drink or some cake for me!
Birthday shoot last year! Shot by the amazing Cameron Hyman!
She laughs without fear of the future… if only I had known then how God was about to move in my life…
May 2020 was the start of my blog and as it gets closer, I am just excited. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I would still be here writing content and that I would have followers so thank you to each and every one of you that is here.
I feel like the celebrations started in February and despite a small break in July will carry on until the end of the year. Birthdays are a big deal for me. I just enjoy the celebration of someone’s time on earth. Mine is next weekend and I am a bit anxious although I know there is nothing to be anxious about. First, it was deciding if I would even celebrate it, with COVID and all and then, what would I do?
If we start to worry about every minute detail, we will quickly become stressed and anxious. We cloud our minds with all of the possibilities. Half of the scenarios unlikely to play out in reality. We stress ourselves when we try to control everything or think that we must control everything. I think I mentioned it in one of my earlier blogs. Worrying only makes us go through it twice, once in our heads and once when it happens. If we are going to have to live through a specific scenario, why would we want to go through a difficult one twice, especially if there is nothing we can do to change it.
But are your really in control? For me, as I am on this spiritual journey, I know that God is in control. Don’t get me wrong, I like to be in control but I have learnt that there are some things I cannot control. I am also not meant to control those things. So when I start to feel flustered, I take a deep breath and ask myself if there is anything I can do to change the situation and if there isn’t, then I turn to God. (Spoiler alert: most times there isn’t) There are some things I can probably control but turning to God first has proven to be my best plan of action. In order to do that, you need to still the million of thoughts in your mind. If your mind is racing, you will not be able to receive the answer. Some people meditate, do yoga or practice conscious breathing.
Two scriptures stand out to me. Psalms 46:10: He says, “Be still and know that I am God” and Exodus 14:14: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still”. When things arise in our lives, usually bad, we sometimes run to God and lay it all bare. But my sis Audra mentioned the other day that while going through a difficult time of her own, she decided to be still on the matter. Bless her because I am sure I would have had to have a talk with God. But by remaining still, she was able to receive a message. And for me, I feel like God is telling us He is God and He knows everything and EVERYTHING in our lives will be used for our good. Even Peter would have benefited from being still but his denial was still ultimately used for his good.
I am currently reading Barack Obama’s book, “A promised land” and one of the lines that stood out was when he thought he might have been damaged. (Don’t quote me on this, I am paraphrasing) In life I hear so many people (myself included) wondering if there is something damaged or broken in them. And what I have learnt is that God takes those same people and uses them. I doubt many of us would even think about Barack Obama as damaged. He was the first African American to serve as President of the United States and not just for one term but two. Also while reading about his campaign, things seemed to fall into place for him. I believe we are all born for the times we are in. Our purpose is connected to our now. A lot of times we wonder if we weren’t meant for another time. But there is no other time but now.
There are things within us that don’t reside in others. There are things we must say and do that no one else can say or do. There are also people we can reach who others cannot. So if you are worried about your purpose or if you are meant to be here or if you can overcome that hurt, or anything you can imagine, I am asking you to take a moment, be still and know that God is in control. You got this! Stop trying to do everything and give it to God.
I am currently on a social media fast for Lent and I am not sure how many people will read this but if you are reading this, this is your sign. Let go and let God.
It always amazes me how quickly the week goes by and I find myself here typing my thoughts out to you all. I started this year listening to podcasts, reading and researching. I really felt like I needed to find myself. I just felt like
I needed to do a bit of a review and see what needed to change (or not).
I wear multiple hats on a daily basis. I should start with a rather simple (yet so complicated) one such as “Woman”, but for right now that doesn’t take first priority. Listen, I am trying to be brutally honest here so hear me out. Most days start with the “Mom” hat. I am making sure the kids are ready for school and that they get there on time. Add all of the other minor details and the first few hours of my day are already gone. And as soon as the morning is over, I am planning pick- ups and drop- offs for activities.
Then I will put on my “Professional/ Entrepreneurial” hat. My parents have a farm and I have been helping my dad. There is a lot of work to do on a farm. I actually really enjoy it. Working in nature and around animals is actually calming for me. Besides the farm, I have Tropsical (@tropsicalsxm) and SXM Macrame (@sxm.macrame) to worry about. I have been blessed with amazing customers and opportunities.
Last year I manifested the biggest project ever for SXM Macrame. I had to make an 8×8 curtain. I completed the first half within two weeks, because I was motivated and pushed myself. My customer advised she didn’t need it for the holidays so just take my time. January came and I really wasn’t feeling the second half of the curtain. No matter what I did, I just did not feel motivated to start (again). I knew it would not take long but I stalled. The curtain is now completed but I realized that after manifesting it, I was afraid to have it come to an end. That project has taught me so much, but I just want you to know that you can manifest your dreams and once you achieve it, you can always manifest something new.
Now back to the hats. I also wear hats labeled “Daughter”, “Sister”, “Friend”, and much more. Obviously it can get chaotic. But I realized I kept neglecting the “Woman” hat. Before I am all of those other labels, I am a woman and that deserves to be honored. I have learned that my hats although similar to others are very unique to me, and I can’t always expect others to understand my journey. It is my responsibility to make sure I recharge but in order to do so, I need to know who I am as a woman. I have to know the things that make me happy. They always say when you are at your best, you can be your best to others.
We, as a society, tend to tell young girls/ women to love themselves but a lot of times we don’t share what that entails. In order to love yourself, you need to know yourself. For me, knowing whose I am helps me to make better decisions. Instead of starting my mornings diving into the chaos of the day, I take time for myself before the kids wake up. I spend time reading God’s word and setting my intentions for the day. It makes me feel good and ready to take on the day. As I go about my day, I try to incorporate things that make me happy. Some days, that could mean eating a healthy home cooked meal rather than fast food and other days, it’s the gym. Oh, that makes me sound healthy but every day isn’t perfect. I have just learned to try and make the best decision in the moment.
I can’t look to others to tell me how to juggle my hats and responsibilities. It is up to me to determine what my best day looks like and create that (or attempt to). There will be days when I get it right and there will be days where I will drop a hat. Friends are great to help you along the way but you should not expect them to help all of the time. They have their own lives that they are trying to sort through.
Lent begins tomorrow and I am not one hundred percent sure about what I am going to give up for those forty days. The idea is to give up things that keep you from getting closer to God and mirror his sacrifice for the forty days he spent in the desert. Sugar is one of my weaknesses so I am thinking of doing a sugar fast, but I also want to take a social media fast. I would still post on the business accounts but not my personal accounts. Tonight I plan to take some time to really pray and listen to what God has to say.
To wrap it up, I know who I am. It’s just important to keep making choices that support that person and not overlook my boundaries. My circle is a blessing and they remind me of parts of me, when I am feeling less than. Trusting myself to know what works for me and my family and then committing to it. The answers to all of our questions lie within us. It’s up to us to go within and discover them and be grateful for what we find. So remember, you got this!
Also, today is Cameron’s birthday! Cameron is an awesome, storytelling creative who is in the middle of his Black History Month project on Instagram. Be sure to follow him (@itscameronhyman)! He is also a super godfather to my daughter and active Crossfitter. So happiest of birthdays to “your grandmother’s favorite photographer”!
Being a mom while being an entrepreneur while wearing a hat 🥳- on Saturday I prepped for a pop up, took a break to take the kids to a party then held the pop up- juggling at its finest
MotherLovingDiva 