This little light of mine…

It’s the first Tuesday of March! The best month of the whole year! Yes, I am a March born, if you couldn’t tell. My birthday is actually Saturday and I am pretty excited, although on a surface level, I am pretty indifferent.

This past weekend was an emotional rollercoaster. There are a lot of factors that contributed to me being more emotional than usual. Three people called out one of my personality traits. One did so in a very negative, and deragatory manner. The other two were very compassionate about it. Of course in my mind, the negative one stands out more, but I am grateful for the other two because they keep me grounded. The thing is in life, there will always be people commenting about us and/ or our traits. It’s important to surround yourself with people who speak positively to you. That doesn’t mean they won’t call you out when needed but they will do so with love, not condemnation. It’s also important for you to know who you are so if someone says something and you know that isn’t you then you need to stand firm in your truth.

On the other hand, we should also be mindful of the way we speak to and about others. Are we simply complaining about them and looking for company? Or do we want to speak in a way that encourages them to do better? Compassion. When we view others’ differences with compassion then we can improve our interactions with them. It’s not always an easy task because we can be caught up in our own worlds and our own issues. Saying a kind word or doing a kind gesture for someone throughout the day may just be the boost they need. Some people go through their days only hearing negative things about themselves. You may be the light they need.

Also emotional because of my birthday. Looking back at the last year, I would have never believed I would be where I am today. There were a lot of changes that shocked me. I am grateful that I actually went all out for my birthday last year, enjoying the entire weekend, because that was just prior to lockdown and this year I won’t be able to celebrate in that manner. I also found myself with no other option than to step into the world of entrepreneurship completely. It has been a ride but I am happy to be here and I am learning as much about myself as I am about the business. I am still not where I want to be and financially it can be scary especially as a single mom. God has been guiding me along the way and I am trusting Him to continue to guide me. In every season, He has provided me with the right people and resources to move forward.

I have learnt a lot about myself and the journey hasn’t always been bubble baths and scented candles. Really getting to know yourself is more ugly crying and resisting the urge to run from yourself. I realize a lot of people don’t know what I have been through, so let me put it into context. Late 2018 I had a very bad breakup that had me out of character. 2019 was me dealing with a bunch of stress and losing a lot of weight. (Stress and breastfeeding are definitely not a good combo). 2020 started off well enough and then COVID and no work. I blamed myself for a lot of things and it was not an easy time, but something inside of me needed breaking and it broke.

My thirties started with a feeling of freedom and every year I feel I get closer. I am learning to trust myself more. Trusting that I know what I need and moving forward in faith in Him. I am learning to offer myself the same grace and compassion I freely offer others. I still make mistakes but every day is a new day to be the best version of me. I am excited about life. I have a good core group of friends who push me to do better and reach higher. I also want to challenge myself. There are a few things I want to do this year and I can’t wait to reveal them as the year goes on.

If you are going through a hard time, my advice is just keep moving. Even when you feel like you aren’t making progress, keep pushing. You’ll be able to look back and see the growth. Take it one day at a time and make the best decision in the moment and adjust from there. Have patience and compassion for yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day and you are constantly learning. Speak to yourself kindly. There are enough people who are willing to tear you down. Build yourself up. For me, my faith saved me and I am thankful to God for everything. Maybe you feel this pull on your life but you’re skeptical. There is a certain peace you get once you get to know God, and I mean really know Him.

And always remember, you got this!

Now have a drink or some cake for me!

Birthday shoot last year! Shot by the amazing Cameron Hyman!

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