Happy happy Tuesday! And today truly is a happy day for me as my grandmother turns 82! Forever grateful for her presence in my life and now in my kids’ lives.
Do you know that my grandmother held me in her womb. Well what would become me. When a baby girl is fully formed in the womb, she already has all of her eggs. So my grandmother wasn’t only carrying my mama, she carried me too. So much of my grandmother is in me. A lot of my childhood was spent in her home because grandmothers are simply the best. So I guess it’s no surprise my kids love spending their days at their grandmother’s house.
According to my grandmother, she couldn’t turn without me being right up under her. Her baked Johnny cakes and bread are the best. Yes I was raised on hot Milo or tea served in a teapot. My grandmother is always willing to help someone and so that house has seen many a people in it. A house that she will let you know she helped build. If you let her, she would probably paint the whole house by herself now. My grandmother is independent. I definitely know where my mother gets it from. Thankfully she doesn’t have a car now so she can’t be up and down like she used to. If she isn’t in the kitchen cooking or baking, she is crocheting or watering her plants.
My grandmother is black excellence. How she raised six kids is beyond me. I am ready to pull my hair out with just two. She has been active in the church and up until last year, was helping the kids prepare for Confirmation. She always has a joke or story to share. And of course, she is absolutely beautiful! Again, the beauty was passed on to my mom who then passed it on to me and I passed it on to my daughter! Both my mother and grandmother are going to shake their heads when they read that.
Grandmothers are truly blessings and shape so much of who we are. Sometimes as we uncover who we are, we have to go back and understand the lives of those came before us. I am grateful that I can still go to her house and harass her for all of the little things. I have a pretty good concept of how her life was but it is still so hard to picture that little girl walking from Cripple Gate to Marigot, and then moving to Cole Bay, and eventually settling in Simpsonbay.
A black woman in Simpsonbay in the 60s. There must be some interesting stories there, but another blog for that. She has taught me to trust God, persevere and never give up. Thank God for her and here is to 82 more!
I really wanted to stick to my habit of posting earlier in the day but I also didn’t want to rush content so here we are.
Do you know what your vision is for this year? We are now officially in February, and although January seems to drag, the rest of the year speeds by. I took some time last month to kind of map out my goals and vision for the year. I really plan on being intentional and saying yes only to things that make me happy or get me closer to my goals. In order for me to do that, I need to know what my goals are. I wrote them down in my planner so I can look at them and be reminded of the plan. So now it’s on me to be disciplined and follow the guidelines I set for myself.
Knowing why I am doing something helps me accomplish it faster. One of my goals is to cook more at home and not eat junk food as much. The end of last year got really busy and I slipped into the habit of eating on the road. I know I want to cook more at home because I want to be healthier and therefore my body needs proper nutrition. Thinking of it as supplying my body with the fuel it needs, makes it much easier for me to cook because I feel like I am doing something good for my body, instead of just seeing it as I am not allowed to have something (junk food in this case). In life, there are some rules and boundaries in place that are there to make life easier. For every choice, there is a consequence. You shouldn’t smoke because it isn’t good for you. But we know that there are still people who smoke. Since they didn’t adhere to the rule, they are now at a higher risk of having serious health complications. We know not to touch a hot stove because we will get burned. That doesn’t stop people from touching hot things but they are then prone to the consequences of ignoring the rule.
Honestly, even with my plan, I felt like I was not doing enough and it was only after saying it out loud during a coaching session, that I really admitted to myself that I was playing safe. Running your own business can be daunting. Like it is definitely amazing to be your own boss and see an idea come to life but the details of bringing that idea to life can be overwhelming. It feels easier to just wade in the shallow end rather than jumping in. But what do we really get from that? Growth isn’t found in our comfort zones. It is important to challenge yourself and keep raising the bar because that’s the only way you and ultimately, your business, will grow. It is trying and failing and then trying again (and again) and finally succeeding that makes the difference. You may or may not accomplish your goal on the first try, but if you don’t try, then how will you ever know?
One of my goals this year is to stop shrinking and stand in my awesomeness. There will be a lot of times when I will probably feel uncomfortable and nervous but unless I show up, how will I really know what can be? I have been feeling unmotivated because I haven’t been challenging myself. I know that I don’t like doing routine work so why would I accept doing routine work in my business? I manifested a pretty cool opportunity for my macrame business in October/ November last year. It is an 8×8 foot curtain. I was so excited and got halfway through in no time then took a break due to the holidays. After the New Year, I was dragging my feet to begin again. Then I realized that this was something I prayed for. How selfish of me to look down on the opportunity. I also knew I could do it because I had already completed half so part of the challenge was done. I had to re- challenge myself and now it will be completed by this weekend. It is important for me to spice things up and keep them interesting. Let’s not talk about what I want to do with Tropsical just yet! Just know that those Tropsical pops will be everywhere.
In life, there are things we know we should do to achieve the goals we want. The difficulty is in overcoming our blocks to do them. A crazy comparison came to me earlier. When we go to the gym, we may hire a trainer to help us reach our fitness goals. The trainer will suggest workouts and possibly even advise on nutrition. But we are the ones who have to do the work. If we try to “cheat”, we are not hurting the trainer, we are hurting our own selves. We prolong our journey and the finish line keeps moving. God is like a trainer, He can and will provide guidelines but if we don’t follow His will for us, we are only hurting ourselves. We all need some help achieving our goals.
Cassandra Fleming (FB) started career coaching last year and can help you reach your goals.
Zoya Hyman and Tasheena Maccow Thomas are both wonderful ladies who can assist you to navigate your thoughts and process your feelings.
Claire is hosting a virtual vision board workshop so sign up and complete that vision for 2021.
Just Creative SXM is an amazing event planning company who can turn your dreams to reality.
Floriane Javois is an inspiring makeup artist and is hosting her first workshop in April. Check out “The beauty life by Flo”.
Cameron Cam Era Hyman is a talented creative who launched his “yuh mom” vlog and has started his Black History Month project so be sure to stay up to date.
Namaste Cuisine and Entertainment is a catering company that will have your mouth watering.
Let me stop here for now before this list becomes too long. Whatever your goals are, there are people who can assist you and inspire you. Write those goals down, create the vision and be intentional. Remember, you got this!
Also if there are typos, my screen is cracked (again). My mom is definitely going to hang me. Someone help me to remember to put on my screen protector next time! Thanks in advance
Last week I mentioned childhood influences and how habits we learned as children can continue into adulthood. I also mentioned my childhood best friend’s mom. At that time, she was ill and today I am writing about her in past tense because she has passed. Laurie was a bright soul. She always had a smile to share, and she simply eluded this air of freedom. As a woman and single mom now, looking back at her life, I can see instances where she must have gone through hell, but as a child in her presence, that never translated. Even when she was ill, she didn’t want to burden people. Most of her life, if not all of it, was spent helping others. Laurie was a second mom to many of us in the neighborhood and you can see her reach by the amount of us surrounding Sappho at this time.
What fascinated me, a lanky nerd, was her collection of books. She always had bookshelves full of books. Even now, one of the first things I did was go over to her bookshelf and peruse the titles. I laughed because as I mentioned to her cousin that day: “leave it to Laurie to have the whole bookset of Laws of St. Maarten”. She was a teacher at the Prins Willem Alexander school and she loved those kids. I can still remember spending Saturdays in the school with her as she gave extra lessons or was simply preparing her classroom for the week ahead. As loving as she was, she was also a no-nonsense woman. We were free to explore but don’t test her boundaries. When I think of Laurie, I think of black Levi’s jeans and black top with black platforms, her gold bangles, her hoop earrings, a Marlboro red cigarette in one hand and a Coca Cola in the other with her brown waves flowing in the air. I saw her sick and yes, she was changed, but the memory of that little lady overpowers the final images. Her spirit lives on in each of us whose lives she has touched, who grew into themselves under her roof. What I know about Jews mainly comes from her. My love of basketball and especially my love for the Bulls ( Michael Jordan era) comes from her. I can’t think of Carnival and not think of Laurie.
Honestly I didn’t start this as a memorial to her but this may be what I needed to express myself. Words create worlds, but sometimes the silence can hold as much meaning. Over a year ago I told her how I felt and everything she meant to me. My final goodbye last week was in silence. The past few days visiting with Sappho and being surrounded with everyone from my childhood has brought back so much memories, even memories I dont remember. Bonds were created when all we cared about was riding our bikes or going to the beach and those bonds are still there today. Foundations are important. Even when everything else is lost, if the foundation is there, you can build back. There may be relationships we need to build back as we continue through this life.
As I get older, and more people I know pass away, it is a reminder to be a good person. We should try to be kind to others and help where we can. We have a chance every day to influence others simply by being who we are meant to be. It could be that you are the bright soul in someone’s life. And I know lately, suicides seem to be spiking, and it is important to check in with each other and let each other know our appreciation for them. Sometimes when a person is considering suicide, they feel like a burden, so hearing that someone cares for them or that they have helped others could help them. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, I would advise you to reach out to a professional who can help you. We are all only here for a short while and it is important to live life feeling loved and seen and return that favor when we can.
The past few days have been interesting to say the least. Although I don’t necessarily feel overwhelmed now, I feel like if I add anything else then I would be. There are a lot of reasons why. First I feel like I need to check in with God on a few things but then secondly because I haven’t been practicing much self care.
Late last year I started unlearning some habits and going over my life with a fine tooth comb. When we self reflect, we can dredge up a lot. Add the holidays and the emotions can be all over. A disagreement with a good friend also joined the mix and it has been a rollercoaster. So picture this, you decide you are going on a diet because you want to be healthier. You are all excited and then boom, suddenly it is as if these companies took out extra ads just to tempt you. Yummy treats are currently being offered to you. Some may be easy to turn down but when they present you with that Tropsical pop (ha! Sorry couldn’t pass up that plug but feel free to insert your favorite treat) then things start to get tougher.
We all have traits and behaviors that we picked up as children. The majority of them we picked up unconsciously. As we go through life, different people and experiences will shape us. For example, my love of plants and Pomeranians come from my mom but my love of black comes from my childhood friend’s mom. I grew up surrounded with lots of parental figures and my childhood friend’s mom was also my mom. I spent lots of time at their house and I am grateful for the opportunity to have new experiences. Although as we grew older, we grew apart, I can’t think of my childhood and not see her. I will probably come back to this in another blog.
Sometimes we hear childhood trauma and we automatically think of horrible cases. But trauma can be very simple and subtle. Feeling vulnerable, alone, terrified or overwhelmed is traumatic. It can make you feel like you can’t trust or rely on anyone to keep you safe. Actions have consequences. So the way we interact with one another will cause various people to react in different ways. There is research about the effects of yelling at kids and hitting them. There may be some experiences we had that were traumatic and have shaped who we are today as adults. It’s important to understand why you do the things you do and what makes you tick and why. A lot of behaviors we adapted were ways for us to survive and navigate in the world we were living in. And many people dismiss trauma because they had a good childhood. You could have had an amazing childhood yet had one traumatic experience that led you to change your behavior and now that behavior is not beneficial to you.
It’s not easy though. It’s hard to face things that we may have suppressed or ignored for years. It also feels like the more you uncover, the more work you have to do. But I think it’s necessary. And as creatures of habit, our bad habits also provide a fake sense of safety. It’s really important to know yourself in order to love yourself. And if you don’t love you, how can you expect someone else to love you? Self love and growth is a lifelong journey. The sooner you start, the more time you will have loving yourself. Also please note that as you work through trauma, it is always a good idea to seek professional help. You really need support as you uncover truths.
There is a lot more to get into but for now I will leave it here. Hope you have an amazing week and remember, you got this!
This week was supposed to be about childhood trauma and the inner child but I feel like a few people touched on that and I want to separate my thoughts before diving in.
Basically I operate in two modes. So there is the part of me that loves you and cares for you and there is the part that doesn’t acknowledge your existence. It’s not that clear cut though, I live in a world of gray.
I have learned that as much as I care for people, I have to let them make their own mistakes. Shoot! I have made a lot of my own and I have grown because of those mistakes. I also know I can sometimes be blunt so what I intended as advice may come across as admonition.
Also because of that, I hold my friend’s opinions in high regards. I don’t always listen but their feedback is filed in a drawer in my brain. All of that to say that my friendships can be a lot. There are highs and lows and I am forever grateful to the few who survived the lows. A lot of times during the lows I get defensive and decide I can do it all by myself. And I am pretty good at getting stuff done by myself. But it was a lonely journey.
What I have come to realize is that I am never alone. It’s very cliché, but it is also true. God is with us all of the time. The problem is we are so focused on doing it ourselves that we don’t seek Him. Trying to do it all by yourself will wear you out. You are going to feel emotionally, mentally and physically spent.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
This verse, Matthew 11:28, is a reminder to turn to God when things feel too heavy for us. And not just when things are heavy, but we should surrender our lives to Him daily and seek Him in all we do.
We may not understand what He is doing but we must believe that He is working it all out for our good. God is able to see the big picture of our lives, He is capable of tracing the outcomes of our decisions before we make them. We are all imperfect human beings trying to navigate our way around other imperfect human beings. Not aligning with God’s will for our lives will lead us to dry places. In the Bible there are countless stories of people who did not abide and lost everything. (Please note that all losses we may encounter are not due to lack of obedience. Take a moment to read about Joseph and how God used all of his “losses” to strengthen him. Sometimes God allows us to go through hard times to become stronger and exalt us higher) When we are disciplined and truly live a surrendered life, we will notice that there is an ease and a peace that encompasses us.
That is not to say that we will not endure hardships. Weapons will form but they will not prosper. We are humans and yes we may stumble, but we should be aware of the path that we are on. We need to realize when we have made an error and ask for forgiveness. Live life with intention. Not to get too dark and gloomy but there is a war happening daily in the spiritual world. We go about our lives mostly unaware of it and only notice the hiccups and distractions when they affect us directly. And even then, we may be too distracted to notice. We are too busy lamenting about our problems. You can live life your way and hope that it all works out or you can decide that you won’t let the enemy take hold of your life. Wake up and submit daily to God. When the distractions pop up, see them for what they are and move on. Are we going to help God win the tug of war on our lives or are we going to sit idly by and do nothing? If you feel a calling on your life, be obedient and submit to His will.
I don’t want to make this too long but I think the message was clear enough. Know that when you start this journey, you will be tested and it is in these moments especially when you need to turn to God and those He has placed in your life to assist you.
Have a great week and remember that a life of submission is a daily choice. You got this!
It’s 2021!! Thank God! I know a lot of us were sick of 2020. The new year has brought some changes and a new direction for me, but let me rewind to 2020 first to bring you up to speed.
I decided I would celebrate my birthday in March and began making plans. Friday night was Girls Night Out and Saturday night was a lovely dinner with some special people. Honestly I was feeling like I overdid it Friday night but then lockdown happened and I was happy that I got to party and spend so much time with my friends. My birthday weekend confirmed that “partying” is no longer for me and I am O.K with that. After the hurricane and the birth of my son, I really didn’t go out much (at all) and I kind of felt like I was missing out but that weekend confirmed that I wasn’t.
Tropsical. Oh Tropsical. I love the pops and pouches with a passion. Officially accepting the title of entrepreneur and living that life is teaching me a lot about myself and life in general. It’s only been about 6 months and I am excited about how the brand will grow. There is a lot that happens behind the scenes to make things happen. Being responsible for every single detail can be terrifying but also rewarding. So salute to all entrepreneurs out there. One piece of advice I will give is: just start. You may not feel ready but in some ways you are never truly ready. The journey helps prepare you.
The final quarter of the year was a test! I really started getting serious about my personal growth about halfway through the year but those last three months almost took me out. The struggle was real trying to juggle my personal life as a single mom with the professional side. Between milestone celebrations and orders, I felt like I barely had time for myself. (That’s because I didn’t). I work hard but I tend to neglect myself. For example, I will work 8-10 hours and “forget” to eat. Also I underestimated Tropsical. Thanks to everyone who purchased from me. Y’all are the best!
December 2020 showed me who I was. Some things I am proud of, like how much of a bad ass I am. Yes I will toot my own horn because I usually don’t. But y’all have no idea how many late nights and early mornings I had. ( Unless you are an entrepreneur yourself and I salute you)
But it also highlighted my weaknesses and some things I thought I had dealt with. There was a period of my life where I really didn’t like who I was and I had to get serious. A lot of soul searching and work led me to Empower ( an empowerment conference held a few years ago) and a person I was happy with. A recovering alcoholic may think they are doing good because they haven’t had alcohol but they also avoided being in the same room with a bottle. The true test comes when you can sit in the room with the bottle and not feel the urge to drink. I feel like similarly we avoid situations that we know will bring out the worse but we should also be able to handle ourselves in those situations as well.
Tired and cranky is not a good look on me. Neglecting myself can lead to resentments and that’s not what I want for myself. In 2020 I did the hard work of naming my habits and weaknesses so I know what needs to be healed. The amazing thing is we all know the answers to our own questions. We know what we need to do in order to heal. The difficulty is in doing the work. Every day you have to wake up and be intentional, obedient and disciplined. Create a routine that you feel comfortable with and go for it. There are always exceptions to a rule but those exceptions should never become the rule.
2021 I just want to be and feel better. I believe in Tropsical and in order for me to give my best to the brand, I need to be at my best. January has barely even started and I already “messed up” but I am not letting one mistake affect the rest of my year negatively. The reason I know I messed up is because I took the time to write down the things that I want and don’t want in my life. But we are also human. I mentioned in one of the previous blogs not to let an error be your setback.
Write down your monthly goals and then break them down into weekly goals. Then show up every day and do your best. Don’t beat yourself up when something doesn’t go as planned. Use it as a learning experience. Ask yourself why you slipped up and be honest with the answer so you can fix it next time. Life will continue to send you “tests” for you to improve.
Some things I want to mention:
• My awesome, creative friend has started a video blog on his Facebook providing moments of maturity every Monday! The first episode is already out so be sure to check it out! FB: Cameron “Cam Era” Hyman | IG: @itscameronhyman
• A vision board has helped me over the years and this year I am probably going to join Claire’s event which will be held later this month. She also has packages available if you prefer to work on one by yourself in the comfort of your home. Twitter: @E_Claire7
Last week I was tied up with Tropsical and did not make my deadline. The holidays are approaching, so myself and a lot of entrepreneurs are going into overdrive. Castel from The Alternative posted about not spending emotionally for the holiday season. Definitely a great reminder. This will be my first January as a full time entrepreneur so pray for me!
The juggle is real! Coordinating schedules and organizing gifts can be very time consuming. I have always loved Christmas because it was a time where I would be surrounded with family members. Some I may not have seen all year. It was a time to reconnect and make new memories. This year COVID has altered plans immensely. Lots of people are quarantined and even more are unwilling to travel so a lot of families are split. Financially, this year may be harder for many as well.
This blog started with epiphanies in my garden and it’s only right that I go back to the garden for this one. Like many, when the lockdown began, I started to plant. It was a wonderful time and I enjoyed spending my mornings in my garden amidst my plants. Sticking a seed in some dirt and checking daily for growth is entertaining. At one point I had over 100 plants and this was way after the lockdown. I was even getting messages about plant related issues. Some I was able to help, others not, but I could not believe that I was talking plants! I always thought I didn’t have a green thumb.
Plant life was great and I was feeling myself. Then things started picking up with Tropsical and as I like to say, life was happening. The past couple of months I have lost a lot of plants. And I have been discouraged. Plants, like our relationships, need time and attention. When we spend time with our plants, we are able to give them the attention they need. I could tell which ones needed more water or more sun and which ones needed less. My busy schedule had me rushing when I watered or simply going through the motions. Since November the weather has changed and the plants have adapted. It’s cooler and some of my plants didn’t need to be watered as often. These past two weeks I have made time to be in my garden. Just assessing and adjusting where necessary.
We, too, start to suffer if we don’t take time to pay attention to ourselves. We easily neglect our needs and wants. Our friendships and relationships fail when we don’t spend the necessary time and give the needed attention. They say time heals all wounds and I agree. We have to bear in mind though that although healed, some wounds still cause long term pains. Time gives you the opportunity to grow and learn. In all of our relationships, time helps us build the connections. Disagreements may arise but when we take the time to discuss and decipher them and give it the attention it needs, we can usually resolve the issue. Relationships grow when we spend time hence why it is important to spend time in God’s word to grow your relationship with God.
I admitted that I lost plants but I can also admit that some could have been saved if I had taken time sooner to give them the attention they needed. I was so caught up in myself and feeling bad that I chose to ignore them instead of do something. By the time I finally did something, it was too late for some. And that’s how it is in life. Sometimes we are blinded by our own beliefs and so we choose to ignore and by the time we want to do something, it’s too late.
This holiday season, forgive petty arguments and disagreements. Start working on resolving bigger issues and get help if needed. Spend time with your loved ones. Create new memories.
P.S: Time is so valuable and we never know how much we have left. This weekend I went to Vision & Voice 3 and had an amazing time. Kudos to Cam, Malaika and Kareem! It was a beautiful event but I was also able to spend time with persons I don’t normally see and our conversations and interactions will remain with me. Time is needed to build relationships, hone our crafts, heal, grow and learn. Don’t waste another minute doing things that don’t bring you joy.
Enjoy the holidays and embrace the moments, whether it’s a Zoom session, FaceTime or face to face.
Hope you are having a wonderful and productive day! Take a minute and think of one thing that you are grateful for thus far in the day. ✨ I appreciate, and I am grateful for, every one of you who reads my blogs! I started this blog with the sole intention of writing again and your support has assisted me tremendously!
Posting on Monday seems like the best option for this season as weekends I am extremely caught up juggling Tropsical and other responsibilities. It also lets me check in at the beginning of the week rather than the end. As I went through the week, I pondered what I would write about this week because I wanted to make sure that I did not skip today’s blog. Nothing was really standing out and I was wondering if I would find a topic. Usually I would get a thought and that thought would come up in random conversations or through some other confirmation. But truth be told, I feel like the communication between God and I has been a little cool lately. Thankfully I know why and have been making asjustments. And God always shows up! I was running through my to- do list and was wondering where I should even start and then I heard “just do it” and no, it wasn’t a Nike commercial.
Let me expand a little bit. God speaks to all of us but he communicates differently with each of us. Due to my relationship with God, I have a pretty good idea of when He is speaking to me. So I also know when it seems like He is quiet. And I know for a lot of us when things go silent, we automatically think we did something wrong and that may cause us to pull away rather than lean in. A few years ago I had a different thought. Sometimes when God is silent is because He has already spoken to us but we haven’t listened and done what needs to be done. The silence is more a reflection of our inaction than our wrongdoing. Let me try and give an example. As a mom, I have told my kids to clean up one set of toys or an area before moving on to something else. So if my daughter wants to play her Switch, she has to clean up her Barbies first. My two year old son likes to dump his containers out but before he can go to a second container, he has to clean up the first set of toys. But kids are kids, they can’t be bothered so sometimes I have to stop them in their tracks and remind them of the rule. And I have heard it all, they are tired, they need some water, and just all sorts of excuses as to why they can’t simply clean up. I listen to them express themselves and I am quiet but I know as soon as I open my mouth, I am only going to repeat what I have already told them. They have to clean up that area before moving on to something else. What if God is doing the same? As our Father, He tells us something and we get caught up telling Him we can’t do it. He may tell us to stop doing something that we really shouldn’t but we’re like; “it isn’t that bad” or “well I will stop soon”. And He listens and lets us do us, because He gave us free choice. But then when we come to Him and ask again, He will simply repeat what He already told us.
Sometimes obedience comes easy, other times we struggle. Especially when we feel like it’s a life changing decision. We can feel overwhelmed and wonder “why me” or “where do I even start”. When I was contemplating my to- do list, it seemed daunting. Then I decided to just pick one thing and do it. After that task was completed, I did another one. Slowly my to- do list was being completed. I am pretty sure I could have sat there for hours contemplating what to do and nothing would have gotten done. It’s the same when we hear from God. Even if we aren’t sure how we’re going to accomplish it, it’s important to start to do something. Start taking the first steps in the right direction. Don’t get me wrong. You do need to take some time to plan out what you have to do but once you know what is needed, action is required. Not sure if this example will work but let me try. Think of it as a video game. To move through the levels you need to accomplish certain tasks. The next level can’t be unlocked until you complete all tasks on this level. But if you spend all day thinking about the task and how to do it without actually picking up the controller and doing it, you will be stuck on the same level forever. If you are being nudged to do something, level up or make a change, trust that God will provide you with everything you need to accomplish the task at hand. Don’t let fear cripple you to inaction. Everything you want is on the other side of obedience.
So this week, take some time and notice how God speaks to you, listen to what He is telling you and take action! As always, remember “You got this”.
It’s another week so that means another blog! It’s funny because I didn’t think anyone was keeping track but two persons reached out to me last week about the blog. So I took that as a sign to stay focused and committed.
I have a few thoughts running through my mind.
The holidays are quickly approaching and of course things are getting hectic. This is also the time of year that most people do some deep cleaning and rearrange their homes. My mother is a neat freak and is super organized. There is a place for everything and everything should be in its place. A few months ago a friend of mine (hey Cass!) shared a book with me by Marie Kondo. “Spark Joy” is about the art of organizing and tidying up and of course she discusses the KonMari method. I feel like my mother may be the Caribbean version of Marie Kondo. A lot of the advice in the book I had already heard from my mother, so it was pretty straight forward. But one of the things Marie Kondo mentioned is that the things in your house should bring you joy. If you pick up something and you don’t feel joy ( unless it’s a functional object), you should either discard it or give it away. I was then listening to a podcast and they mentioned Marie Kondo as well and linked it to life in general. I do feel it’s important to reduce the clutters in our homes and give it a good overhaul a couple times a year. It has been a really different year to say the least. I think taking some time to take stock of the things in our home and really determining whether they bring us joy is necessary this year. We have spent more time at home and for some that was a blessing and for others it was a curse. The same way we choose to surround ourselves with certain people and energies, we should maintain the same at home. For me, my home is supposed to be my safe haven. The place I can unwind after a long day. With a toddler, the mess can add up quickly so I have made simple adjustments to allow me to tidy up quickly, so I can spend more time with the kids or simply have a moment to myself.
But the same is also true for us. We need to kind of assess ourselves and clear our minds as we prepare to bring in the new year. The holidays will go by in a blur and the new year will be upon us in no time. We can start asking ourselves some important questions like, despite the pandemic, what has brought us joy this year? What habits do we need to adjust? What is working for us and what isn’t working? What are some goals we want to accomplish? We should be actively creating the lives we want to live. We have to hold ourselves accountable before we fall into stagnant modes and do things just because. How are we organizing our lives? Are we taking care of ourselves physically and mentally? Where do our priorities lie? We don’t have to wait until January 1st to make changes. We can start releasing bad habits and healing wounds right now. Have we spent enough time with our loved ones and with ourselves? Let’s finish the year strong and accomplish a few more goals before December 31st.
It’s funny how it can be so tough to obey God even when we hear his voice clearly. I have been hesitant about blogging and really wondering if I should continue. Fourteen consecutive weeks is a lot and I was proud of my accomplishment. Then my schedule got hectic and I was not able to post and since then I feel like it is sporadic. A few people approached me and encouraged me to continue but I have still been questioning myself. I am an imperfect human being and I try to share what is on my mind. I know a lot of times I hold myself to a higher standard than I would hold anyone else and I am learning to offer myself the same grace I offer others. Our schedules change and things happen but we need to appreciate it and learn from each season we are in. Beating myself up because I missed a week was only delaying my next blog. If we wallow in our own self pity then we won’t make the necessary moves. There are things in life that will require us to take the time necessary to overcome them and we may even need help but for minor setbacks we should remain focused on the goal and get back up and get at it. There is still so much that can be accomplished this year if we look forward and not complain about what we didn’t get done.
It is always the right time to take stock of your life and make the changes you need to live the life of your dreams. Every journey begins with the first step. Envision the life you want, be honest about what needs to be done and then tackle those goals one by one. Start saving or pay off your debt. Enroll in that course. Check off some of the things that have been on your to do list for years now. Ask yourself what brings you joy and start incorporating more of those things into your life. The only thing holding you back is you. I am late with my blog but I have a blog this week and I am going to ensure that I am not late next week. The next couple of weeks I will be clearing things from my life as I prepare for everything I want. Join me. And remember, you got this!
P.S. sorry if my posts are a bit shorter! Need to repair my laptop…
It feels like it has been forever since I shared my thoughts. Life got a bit hectic and I was focused on being present in the moments. My daughter was able to receive the sacrament of Holy Communion two weeks ago and last weekend was stock full of celebrations. My goddaughter turned one and had a cute flamingo and pineapple themed birthday party. I attended a baby shower and a very close friend’s daughter (my second daughter) also received the sacrament of Holy Communion.
Holy Communion usually takes place in May but due to COVID-19, things were postponed. I actually didn’t expect them to be able to receive the sacrament this year. In September we received notification that they would proceed but in keeping with social distancing and other COVID-19 preventative measures. Luckily her dress was already bought since March. Before you receive the sacrament of Holy Communion, you have the act of Reconciliation, which is confession. The girls were excited for their Communion but slightly nervous of about confession. I feel like we all feel a bit nervous when it’s time to confess our own sins. Although God is a forgiving God, knowing we did something that would not please Him, makes us a little anxious.
I feel like my weekends were fresh starts. Confessing your sins and asking for forgiveness. The pending birth of a healthy baby, and the celebration of life. The girls started a new chapter in their religious lives and I pray that they will continue to nurture and grow their relationship with God. My goddaughter is one and she has so much life to live. She is going to learn so much within the next year. The beautiful thing is that everyone was surrounded by love those weekends.
Don’t be afraid to take the next step and do something different. No matter what age we are or where we are, we can always start a new chapter in our lives. Surround yourself with the right people and go for it! I feel like we are always molding our futures. I mentioned in two interviews that when I started Tropsical, a lot of the things I needed, I had actually purchased two years prior. For two years they were reminders of something that was on hold but when it was GO time, they were already there. The relationships that have helped grow my business were relationships I nurtured before the idea of the business.
We try to rush things and we want to be successful overnight but that isn’t the way. Most people will tell you it takes some time. What you see as overnight success is usually the build up of multiple years of hard work. If you have a dream but you’re worried that you don’t have the finances, please just write your dream down. Write it down and then break it down into baby steps. Be very detailed about all that you think you will need. Then start working on ticking those things off. You may skip some “easy” ones but over time you will realize you are acquiring the things you need.
Also, find a small group of people who truly support you and share some of your ideas with them. They may have creative ways to overcome some of the hurdles. They may even inspire you to change things up a bit but they will also offer support when you are feeling down. Your support group may also make necessary connections that you need to move forward. They are an extension of your network. Networking really gets the ball rolling. Don’t always be afraid to share your challenges, because someone in your circle may just have the solution for you.
This week take some time to write down your goals and your plans, visualize them and start laying the foundation. Don’t be afraid to start a new chapter in your life. It may be the best one yet! Remember, you got this!
The rainbow always comes after the rain. Some times you just have to look a little harder!
MotherLovingDiva 