The garden of friendship…

Happy Wednesday! Hopefully this posts before midnight (lol)

I really need to work on a cute intro since this has become regular. I hope this week has met you in good spirits and good health.

It always amazes me how the week’s topic comes to me and I am grateful to God for using me. Today I am staying in the garden. I started this blog to share the lessons I learned while gardening and although the focus shifts from time to time, I find some of my best posts come through my garden epiphanies.

When planting, there are some plants that go well with one another. Native Americans usually plant corn, beans and squash together and it is known as the Three Sisters crop. They plant them together because they benefit each other. Companion gardening or planting is planting crops near each other that either aid each other in pest control, support or any other reason. And that made me think of friendships. Friendships are meant to support and help each other thrive. Through different phases of our lives, our friends can offer us the qualities, support, love and guidance we need in that moment. And other times, we are the friends supplying. Friendships constantly go round and round, like a tire rolling.

A great friendship is balanced with both sides contributing and each person feeling valued. However sometimes we find ourselves in friendships where one person may not feel valued. Honest communication is necessary to ensure that both parties can express their concerns and work through minor issues. It is also perfectly O.K if a friendship has run its course. I believe some people are only meant for a period in our lives. It does not diminish the bond, in fact it can and should enhance it. I won’t stay here too long because this isn’t exactly what I want to talk about.

A friendship should be a learning experience. Learning what the other person likes and needs and also what makes them tick. I can only step in and give a friend what they need, if I actually know what they need. If my friend is feeling low and needs a boost, I need to know what that looks like for them. In addition, a friend teaches you about yourself, the world and life in general. We all have unique experiences. Our perspectives vary from person to person. However, friendships teach us compassion and grace. When we see the amazing beings our friends are, we are able to remind them of that greatness and also support them when needed. Our friends should also do the same for us.

Many times we stay focused on what people are or are not doing for us but we don’t check ourselves to see if we are being good friends to others. It is amazing to receive advice from friends when we need it but it is important that we also check in on those friends. I was complaining about a friend not giving me the attention I wanted and another one was like but I have been asking you for attention and you have been ignoring me. It is normal to fall into that trap. What allows the friendship to overcome it is honest communication and applied effort from both parties. Making an effort to adapt for the friendship to thrive. I have also learned that most friendships do not require as much work as we expect. They do not require spending the entire day together or talking daily. But a quick check in, a cup of coffee or lunch can go a long way. As humans, some of us require face to face interactions and due to Covid, some will suffice with a phone call. Hearing a person’s voice and interacting with them can be a big boost.

Friendships are necessary in our lives because they help us a thrive and the covering of a good friend can save us. There are good people out there offering genuine friendships but in order for you to accept it, you have got to believe it. If you keep looking for negative, you will find it but if you look for positive, you will find it also. Reach out to your friends and check in. A lot of times people are going through things that they feel are not worth troubling friends with. What I have learnt is sometimes we don’t share certain struggles but those same struggles are the ones our friends can help with. So do not be afraid to reach out to your strong friends and check in. There might be something you have to offer, eveni if it is just a listening ear.

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