Friendships also = shared thoughts :)

Happy Sunday!

Phew! (wipes beads of sweat off of my forehead)

I am late with my blog this week but for good reason. This past week I really was not feeling so driven or productive. I acknowledged the feelings when they first appeared but I also embraced not doing anything extra. It is really hard for me to do nothing and I already had a to do list that was growing. I got a lot completed this week but I did not push myself to do more. It was very foreign to me to be so nonchalant. For example, on Friday I had an appointment with my daughter and due to unforeseen traffic delays, I realized I would be late to the appointment. About fifteen minutes later, I realized I would be so late it did not make sense to go. Normally I would have hustled and cut corners in order to make the appointment. Instead I contacted them and let them know that I would be unable to make it due to traffic and asked to reschedule. Guess what? The sky did not come falling down! They gladly rescheduled. 

In life, we tend to have these assumptions or expectations in mind of how things are going to turn out and we are usually wrong.

We stress ourselves trying to meet these fictitious standards when in reality, the very same people we are trying to keep happy, are not even holding us to those standards. Honest communication does go a long way. I am not saying be lazy and take the easy way out but if you have done your best and you see it won’t work, communicate that and find another solution. I would have skipped lunch and stressed sitting in bumper to bumper traffic and arrived annoyed and not enjoy the experience. We need to learn to be present in the moment while going with the flow. If it feels like you are trying to pull a tire through a mud pit then you may have to pause and re-evaluate. Some situations will be mud pit situations that you need to get through to become stronger but even then there may be a smarter way. (Sorry, the vision of someone walking with a tire over their head popped into mind LOL).

On Thursday, I was a part of a Facebook Live with Keoma discussing how people are coping financially since COVID 19 and what it is like starting a business during a time of crisis. (The link is below so you can check it out.)We were sharing great tips on how to manage money and saving for a rainy day but what stood out to me was when we touched on networking. We are not meant to go through life alone and it does take a village to raise a child. As a person, you do need friends. You need that support group for when life throws some punches but also to celebrate the victories. It is the same when starting a business. Your friends should support you. I am grateful for the friends I have because they have been there with me. Whether liking, sharing, offering feedback and assistance, showing up, purchasing and simply being there. They encourage me when I have doubts and listen when I run my ideas by them. My tribe is amazing!

This topic may be triggering for some people and I totally get it. The tribe that I have now does not consist of childhood friends. It does not even entirely consist of college friends. My tribe is a mix of all. I used to think that my friendships would not last and as I got really close with someone, something would happen and we would drift apart. I have learned that is O.K. Those persons were needed for growth but they did not need to stay in my life or my time was up in theirs as we both grew. That does not mean that you have to dislike the person. Friendships like any relationship, are two- way streets. You both should be pouring into one another. Again, honest communication is also needed. I have a very close friend that I don’t see often and I was missing her. Another friend while discussing business questioned whether I was utilizing my friendships to the max. Guess what? That put fire under me to get up and go see my friend and I am so happy I did. 

We can be tough and hold our friends to a standard we would not live up to. Here is where we need to be honest with ourselves. Someone may not be there, not because they do not want to be but because they are busy with their own lives. We tend to forget that our friends have their own lives too. They may be going through something and wondering why you have not noticed and reached out and you are sulking because you think they do not care anymore. All of my friends are busy, half of them are working for themselves and the other half is juggling full time jobs and their own businesses. I support them all of the time and if I cannot support financially, I speak to them and do my best to support in other ways. 

In June I had my first pop up with boozy pouches from Tropsical and I am overwhelmed by the support I have been receiving from friends and strangers. My social media friends have shown up and shown out. People I know casually have shown up and supported. During the Facebook live we mentioned that once you start moving and doing for yourself, support and assistance shows up in various forms. There are people willing to assist you to make your dream come true but you have to do the heavy lifting. No one is going to build your dream for you. Some people will come with ulterior motives and that’s where you have to know yourself and trust your judgment. But I believe the world is full of good people and you should surround yourself with people who love you genuinely. Be kind to others, support others and build your network. You never know who will be the one to help you accomplish your dream. 

P.S Check out some links below the picture!

https://www.instagram.com/itscameronhyman

https://www.instagram.com/namastecuisinesxm

https://www.instagram.com/thebeautylife_byflo

https://www.instagram.com/justcreativesxm

https://www.instagram.com/sugarrushsxm

https://www.facebook.com/Out-of-the-Box-Gifts-SXM-353775331969794

2 thoughts on “Friendships also = shared thoughts :)”

  1. Very insightful blogs you have. Even if it’s your own journey and experience that you’re talking about but also mentioning life’s curve balls and ups and downs..

    I realized I’m using my Sunday morning in hope to find guidance within your blogs for my mental sake… this one definitely hits it as well… I learned to accept that friends come and go.. but also realizing that by me shutting myself off from the world is unhealthy.. I guess the mere fact is that I’m tired of putting in energy to create friendship…if.. eventually they go… subconsciously it makes me scared to get close to someone and then all of a sudden… it’s different after a few months.. which completely sucks because in the end, when you need someone to talk to, there isn’t anyone to talk too…

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    1. Thank you so much! I am glad that you are finding them useful. I have learned to accept friendships as they are. I have a best friend that I have barely spent time with over the past couple of months. Before I would panic and be like well we aren’t really best friends if we aren’t seeing each other. But I know that if I need anything, even an afternoon to chat, she will make the time for me and vice versa. I have another friend who constantly messages me first and I feel bad because I used to message her all the time before. But she understands that right now things are hectic for me and sometimes I get caught up and don’t remember to message back. Some friendships aren’t meant to last forever so definitely feel free to let those go. Let your friendships grow organically. This coming from someone who used to spend a lot of energy trying to make things work and doing too much. Those who love you and are genuinely there for you will accept you as you are

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