Carnival is bacchanal and bacchanal is carnival. This won’t be your typical write up of Carnival. It’s actually not even really about Carnival. I guess to tell this story properly, I need to share a bit of history first. In high school I wanted to study event management and being a go-getter, I got involved in the entertainment industry by assisting as a promo girl. Those connections led me to being involved in the entertainment scene not only on St. Maarten but in Tallahassee as well. When I returned home, I was an event promoter, I managed DJs, worked events as a stage manager, or dealt with the artists. Point is, I was involved in the entertainment scene heavy. If there was an event, I was there.
Simultaneously, I have been on a spiritual journey. I’ve always believed in God and in college, there were moments where I know He was speaking to me and like Naomi Raine says, even when I did not want it, He kept me. Although it felt like I was living a double life, I also felt like maybe I was meant to be in those spaces to shine my light. In 2023, I applied for a Carnival booth and I got it but I remember getting a specific message from God about it. It was only meant for that year but I still decided to apply the year after and of course, I did not get a booth. I had to accept the message I had received and my enjoyment of Carnival started to wane. 2025, I was off island and missed most of Carnival and I was good.
Carnival 2026. Both of my kids asked to take part in the parades; I had no interest in Carnival or the village. As Carnival started, I decided to attend a few events but I remember one morning having a whole discussion with God about the village and what it represents at this time. But I purchased the two event tickets and figured I was ok, because I wasn’t going to wild out or drink excessively. For me, I was attending a concert. Well, as the saying goes, man plans and God laughs. I went to Church the Sunday of Flagfest and got called up. I was so nervous, but the word that was spoken could have only come from God. Carnival was done for me. I thought I would have had a hard time for Night of the Hitmakers but honestly, I think that may have been my best sleep.
Why did I share my background at the beginning? I was hearing the story of Lot’s wife leading up to Carnival. God kept bringing her up in my thoughts. In Genesis, Lot and his family live in Sodom and Gomorrah. God was not pleased with the people there. Because of Abraham’s prayers for God to spare Sodom if ten righteous men are found, God sends angels to save Lot and his family. Lot, his wife and two daughters are spared and were given the instruction to not look behind them as they left the city. In Genesis 19:26 we read, “But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.” Now I don’t want to become a pillar of salt. Lot’s wife disobedience can be seen as a longing for her past life. In this life we cannot serve two Gods, we cannot follow God while trying to be of the world.
I have learned how our disobedience has serious consequences. My goal in this season is to obey the Lord. Yes, I was involved in Carnival and events for a large part of my life, but that part of my life is over. And I sympathize with Lot’s wife. It’s hard not to look back but I am comforted by Romans 12:2. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Being surrounded by other people on this journey helps. I am sharing my story as a testimony and if He can do it for me, He can do it for you. I spoke to a friend and she mentioned she also had an internal struggle. Another conversation revealed to me that another friend was praying for those who would have this conflict based on her own experience. God is speaking and it is up to us to listen. No matter what our pasts may look like, He is calling us to Him. I pray you decide to listen and obey. Every day won’t be easy, but with Him on our side, anything is possible.
MotherLovingDiva 