To encourage and be encouraged

Happy Wednesday! I know I cut it close but what matters is that I did post on Wednesday. Still trying to figure out the best time to start so I can post on Tuesdays. This week hasn’t gone quite as planned which has caused delays across the board. 

I was never a person that had a lot of friends. I know a lot of people but I actually don’t have that much people checking in on a daily or weekly basis. When I was younger this bothered me a bit especially when I would look at others’ friend circles.  Comparison is truly the thief of joy. The past few years I have learnt that although I may not have friends who are always present, I do have a good group of friends who I can depend on. They have shown time and time again that when they are needed, they show up, no questions asked. Ok, maybe a few questions but you get the point. I know who has my back and I definitely have theirs. 

Since I wasn’t used to having close friends, when I did meet someone, I became protective and a bit possessive. It’s like squeezing your fist tighter to keep water in but in the process the water trickles out. I have held on to friendships that I should have left because of FOMO (fear of missing out). Going above and beyond even when it wasn’t reciprocated. But thank God, I started putting me first. By establishing boundaries and not being so much of a giver, eventually those who weren’t meant to continue with me drifted away. I began meeting likeminded individuals who mirrored similar values and the friendships were reciprocal instead of one sided. And I am not saying I wasn’t sometimes the toxic friend. I have had my faults too. I am working on reaching out to my friends. I tend to get caught up with work and assume their well instead of a quick check in. 

Proverbs is rich with wise counsel and Proverbs 27:9 says that a sweet friendship refreshes the soul. I believe our friendships are meant to help us grow on our journey. Some friendships are only meant for a season and others last a lifetime. The right company is important because the people we spend the most time with do affect our lives. Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”. Are the people around you sharpening you or making you dull? Are they leading you toward God and your goals or are they distracting you? Someone not being a good friend for you does not make them a bad person. Friends are meant to hold us accountable. 

On my faith journey, I have realized the importance of Christian friends. They offer me space to discuss my faith and any questions I may have. Sometimes I need biblical reminders and they are there and quick to assist. It is easy to get caught up with worldly things and they remind me of Christian principles. It hasn’t been super easy to find people who are on similar paths. Imagine having a hobby and not knowing anyone else who likes the hobby or knows about it. When you do meet someone who knows about it, you can exchange knowledge and ideas. That is not to say that you only need friends who like the same things you do. It’s also important to respect everyone’s choices.

This week, reach out to that person who has been on your mind. You never know what may come of it. Appreciate the friends you have and be open to making new ones. Most times we psyche ourselves out of great friendships. Do something nice for someone you know. Invite someone out. Exploring adult friendships can be scary because we all have some trauma from past friendships but it’s a beautiful thing when two people connect and help each other shine. We all need support on this journey. Have a great week and I will check in with you next week!  

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