This month started heavy and maybe it’s because of the new moon over the weekend, but the heaviness seems to be rolling through the entire month. If you’re working on yourself, whether healing an inner child wound, releasing trauma or simply trying to be better, you know that it’s hard work. But as hard as it is, it’s important.
Facing yourself can be intimidating. Embracing the good and bad parts of yourself. That’s why people seek support and help from others, usually professionals. Having someone hold space for you allows you to work through the dark without feeling ashamed or judged. A professional can also assist you in understanding your triggers to avoid conflict. Of course, if there is a conflict, a neutral third party can assist both parties navigate through it to come to an agreement.
Most times, one or both parties, feel unheard. Sometimes we listen to respond and not to truly understand what the other person is trying to convey. The person may not even require that an action be taken but simply be acknowledged in order for the conflict to be resolved. The problem with misunderstandings is that both parties are operating from their perspective positions. If one of them isn’t willing to stand in the other’s shoes, then they will never understand each other.
Part of loving yourself, is trusting yourself. Trusting that gut instinct you get. It can be hard to trust yourself if you think you are always making mistakes. It could be that the voice in your head isn’t even your own voice. Who are you allowing to take up space in your head? Once you start to filter out the other voices, you will start to hear your own voice.
During conflict, there may be times when you downplay your feelings for the sake of appeasing the other person. Compromise is necessary and can be healthy to resolve conflict but like everything else in life, too much compromise can be a bad thing. Are you honoring your feelings or ignoring them just to ensure that the conflict is resolved? You don’t always have to put your feelings aside for others.
In the past, I dimmed my light for others. I felt like it was a necessary sacrifice to ensure that things remained good. Ultimately you just feel worse because usually the other person isn’t even aware of the sacrifice being made. Every time you express yourself/ speak up for yourself, you are telling yourself that you matter. Although there will still be times where the other person doesn’t fully grasp you, you will no longer internalize their inability to hear you.
If you are struggling or have struggled with showing up as your authentic self because you’ve been told you’re too much or made to felt like you didn’t matter, please send me a message or comment and let me know how you’re dealing with it. Remember, you’ve got this and you (and your feelings) matter. Have an amazing week and be kind to yourself!